Post grad school burnout

Posted on June 7, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Guys, I have to admit that I am burnt out. Post grad school burnout has hit me hard and it is not fun. I know this is a pretty common occurrence with most graduates, but I was hoping that I was not the case, unfortunately (like most of my hypotheses in grad school), I was wrong. So, today I am going to go over what I am feeling, what I have done already to overcome the burnout, and possibly things that I will do in the future to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I will also provide some tips for dealing with the end of your grad school experience so you don’t experience/limit the experience of post grad school burnout.

How I know it’s burnout

First off, I have been working non-stop since I started my PhD. Heck, I was basically working prior to that as well and never really took much time off while in grad school or before going back. So, I am fairly certain, just based on that, that I am burned out.

However, grad school, in the beginning, was a bit slow and a peaceful time, especially during covid, so I was able to relax most days, put in maybe like 25-30 hours of work a week, and then just enjoy the rest of the time. Because of this, I didn’t really get burnt out. Unfortunately, as one goes along with their doctorate, you start to get busier and busier, until eventually you are running full force for 8-16 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week. Yes, that was me towards the end.

I knew I was burnt out because there were times where I would have to drink 2 energy drinks and about 2 or 3 coffees to stay awake and my energy level was beyond low. I pushed myself way beyond what I should have and I honestly regret it. It is not worth my health.

What people say about working hard and how that affects burnout

In grad school and even now, I would read articles about hustle culture and constantly being “on”. Working late nights each night and putting in overtime are just things that “successful people do”. I took that to heart. Yes, it is one of the dumbest possible things that I could do. I was submersing myself in YouTube videos on side hustles, working multiple jobs, blogging non-stop, as well as staying up late to finish projects. Sure, I was extremely productive, but it wasn’t worth it. It never is worth it.

People often say that you need to work hard to succeed. Sure, I believe that you need to put in some work, but they never tell you “how much work”. Think about it for a second. What is the definition of “hard work?” How do we even quantify hard work? Is it working 50 hour weeks? 100 hour weeks? or are they saying work hard and produce maybe one or two things a week? I really don’t know what that statement means and it means alot to different people.

Working hard in grad school could mean producing one manuscript each semester or just waking up to do one experiment. For me, I didn’t know what was meant by hard work and had no metric to go off of so I pushed myself harder and harder. I think that is what society and our jobs want us to do. Work until you literally can’t anymore.

How it’s going

Because I had no way to really compare myself to what hard work was or what was enough, I just kept going. Now I am tired, depressed, anxious, happy, sad, exhausted, energized, and everything in between. I have a hard time really doing anything that I love at night because I am drained. Coffee doesn’t help, energy drinks just make me jittery, and my workouts have suffered. Post grad school burnout has hit me hard… but I won’t let it stop me.

What I am going to do to prevent post grad school burnout

Ok, so the first thing that I will do and what you need to do if you are experiencing this is to take a break. At first, it might just have to be just taking a weekend at a time to just sit inside, watch movies, or possibly just sleep a ton. For me, I am cutting back on going out and planning to do a ton of things over the weekend and just vegging. I still workout on the weekends and do some small activities such as walking the bridge by my place or fishing, but that’s it.

You need to start with small things like that. I was going on trips every weekend and the past few weekends I have been driving long distances to do stuff. I am reducing that big time. If I don’t then my body will definitely stop me. But start with just slowing down. That’s the first step.

reduce grad school burnout with a vacation

Take a vacation or a sabbatical

This is where I messed up. When you finish grad school, take a vacation. Take a very long vacation and do not start a job right away. You may not realize how stressed and overworked you were towards the end! Trust me on this one, take time off, go on a trip to another country, enjoy the time away from work and go do something you’ve been putting off because you were working all of the time. Life is not about work so stop listening to people when they tell you that you need to get a job right away! You just completed one of the most stressful things in life and now it’s time to rest.

I honestly think this is the most important thing you can do. I know too many people that did not do this and they are in terrible situations dealing with burnout. Life is meant to be enjoyed and experienced. A job can wait. And if you are overly burnt out, you might be out of a job sooner than later due to low performance. Take a bleeping vacation.

I have a few trips that are planned for this year to take some time off and enjoy this life. Luckily I make a good salary compared to grad school so I can afford better trips. Unfortunately, my trips are at the end of the year, so I have to rely on taking it easy to reduce post grad school burnout.

Seek help for post grad school burnout

One thing that I have noticed with this burnout is I am fairly depressed. I am worn down, anxious, and not having a great mental state most days. I am fine talking about this subject, in fact, if you are new to this blog, that is what it’s all about, mental health. But lately, the burnout has ramped up these emotions and feelings and I actually decided that I need help. I am on Talkspace again (check out my blogs about it). I just started and was match with a therapist. We will see how it goes and if it can help because I need it.

When you get burnt out after grad school, you’ll probably sink into a depression. Heck, you may just have a case of post grad school depression. Please, please, please get help. It is not worth suffering alone and it is totally fine to admit that you need a bit of a push to get better. Getting help can really make a huge difference and get you back in the game. I’m sure my therapist will also help to come up with ways to help me reduce post grad school burnout.

Don’t take things so seriously

You have done it. You have proven to yourself and others that you work hard, you’re intelligent, and you’re awesome. So stop caring about it all (care a tiny bit but not a lot). Take time to enjoy life and take things slower. If you do this then burnout will never come, I promise you that. For me, I am putting in enough effort to show that I am a good person, but I am not and will not over commit to my profession. I won’t put in those 60 hour weeks unless I absolutely have to and am paid and I won’t go the extra mile to take on work that robs me of my time with others. I will start taking it slow and smelling the flowers and enjoying the time off. No, I will not take a job that is high paying where I will have to give up my soul. It is not worth it and you will burn out. Heck, you might have a heart attack if you keep up how things were at the end of a doctorate.

The only thing you should ever take serious are your relationships with others and your interests. The best part about after grad school is being able to take those hobbies up again as well as developing deeper relationships with others. That’s where your effort needs to go. I promise you that spending your time doing what you love to do will never cause burnout..at least I hope not.

Final thoughts

Guys, I have post grad school burnout but I am getting help. It is time to take control of my life and actually listen to my own advice. If you are in the same situation as me, please reach out to someone. You have my email so maybe I can provide some assistance. We are in this together and just know you are not alone.

I hope you enjoyed this post because I have plenty more coming in the next few weeks. Until next time, peace.

Life After Grad School

Posted on June 4, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Life after grad school involves some very interesting things. Transitioning into the real world has been such an eventfully/stressful/exciting time. I have spent, I believe, about 24 years of my life in an academic setting and I was even taking classes while working full time a few years ago, so you can say I am a long term academic. I went as far as I could go in my education and it is time to make the change into being an adult. So today, I want to discuss the transition from college to full time work and give ways to make the transition easier. Hold on tight because I think this might be a longer one of my posts.

Eventfulness of life after grad school

Let us first start off with the eventfulness of this transition. For me, I defended my thesis, moved to Miami!!!! and started a new job, all within 2 weeks. Yes, you read that right…two weeks. For many people, not including myself, they would have probably taken a few weeks to a few months off of work to just go and be free for a bit. That was not me. In fact, I transitioned so quickly that I didn’t really have time to plan out the whole move, so I spent the following weekends coming back to Gainesville to finish packing

Stress of moving after grad school

So next, let’s discuss the stressfulness of the move and transition. As you can imagine, moving 6 hours to a new city, to start a job, is nerve racking. I really didn’t have any time to move stuff, say my goodbyes, and finish my doctorate in those 2 weeks, but I did my best. Given the time that I defended, I had a good month before I had to submit my thesis for the college. If I had to finish that during the time where I moved then I would have been in a ton of trouble. Luckily that wasn’t the case. It still added a ton of stress to the move though. also, just starting a new job, finding where it’s at, meeting new people, and even driving there was super stressful. I am still fairly stressed out, but not nearly as much as when I first started 3 months ago.

It’s exciting after grad school

Lastly, exciting. New beginnings are always filled with so many emotions. I was sad, happy, depressed, but mostly, excited. I was starting something that was brand spanking new! And on top of starting something new, I had a cool new title of Dr. to go along with it. That is super freaking exciting and I definitely was. First off, Miami is just an exciting place. As someone who grew up in small cities, moving to a very large one was a bit overwhelming but mostly exiting.

There are millions of things to do just around my apartment. I literally can walk a few blocks and go see a Miami Heat game, then go to Wynwood and see the murals on the building, then I can just go walk to Miami Beach. Luckily, I am in prime location for everything. I am also meeting brand new people, working on exciting projects, and most importantly, I get to see my girlfriend and cat when I come home at the end of the day.

What to Expect Moving from Academia

Moving on from academia and into the real world will be very exciting at first. You will actually be more excited than anything. You’ll start a new job somewhere, possibly move away to a new state or even country, and start your life. There will be new people to meet, paychecks that are higher than any that you have ever seen in your life, and a whole bunch of free time where you don’t have to do homework. You will be overwhelmed with the excitement for at least a few weeks.

You’ll start having weird feelings

Next, you’ll start to miss grad school. You will miss is a lot! This usually comes about a month to a month and a half in to your new job. You are going to start missing the late nights in the lab, the stress of getting experiments done, and you might even miss writing papers for publication. If you are in an academic profession out of grad school then you may not feel this way as you are just continuing with what you did in grad school lol. But if you are industry, you’ll definitely feel this way. Grad school has been your life for so long and it’s practically your identity. You were/are a researcher and not you are an employee, possibly just a number. So, it is completely fine to feel a bit lost and sad that you are not in grad school anymore.

It won’t last long

Luckily, this only lasts a few months, then you are right back to feeling ok and not as sad that you are gone. Usually the sad feeling goes away 2 to 3 months after you finish. For some, it is much shorter of a time, for others, much longer. You are starting something new so feelings of regret and sadness will come and go. In the show How I Met Your Mother, they refer to it as “graduation goggles“. The feeling is of nostalgia, even if your time was miserable. It goes away, don’t worry.

You might feel a bit depressed towards the 2 month mark when leaving academia. I think this is mostly due to post graduation depression or post PhD depression, which I have written about in my blob post (here). I, unfortunately, am in this stage right now, but I believe there is hope that I will transition out of this. If you are in this phase, please, please, please, see a therapist or talk with someone. Every single grad student that I know has experienced this after graduating and starting a job. Most of my friends are getting help and I absolute love that. I also need to get help, which will happen, I promise.

What to expect when starting a job

Let me tell you that you are going to be a sorts of confused when starting a real job. It is exciting, and there is a ton of opportunity to grow and learn, but the beginning will be rough. I started an engineering position and I feel so dumb. Like beyond dumb! I literally have a PhD in engineering and biogeochemistry and feel dumb when someone asks me a question. I am back to the bottom of the totem pole, but that’s just how it is and I think that all PhDs will have this. Getting a doctorate means you are extremely knowledgeable in one subject, not all of them, so you won’t really know much at first. The best part of a PhD, however, is being able to pick up on things very quickly. We learned how to learn quickly and grasp very difficult concepts. So, if you are in the position where you feel dumb, just know you wont feel this way too long.

Feeling lost after grad school

Another thing that you will feel is very lost. You likely were hired for a large firm with a ton of employees(>1000). You probably came from a lab or research group of like 4 to 10 people. Yeah, you might be a little lost and have no clue who to go to for help. It happens and it is all part of the process. in fact, you probably won’t be beneficial to the company for at least 6 months, and that’s about as long as it takes to just understand what the heck you’re supposed to do. Just go with the flow, put in some work, and ask questions!!!!

For me, I have a really hard time asking people questions. I have a hard time just talking to people (possible social anxiety?) but I am putting myself in a position where I need to ask questions instead of just finding out myself because that would take too much time. Grad students are often not very good at asking questions because we are afraid we will look dumb (this could just be me, who knows). You have to do it though. It may take some time to be comfortable with asking questions, but I promise you will eventually get there.

Free time after grad school

Another thing that I noticed was I don’t think about my work when get home, unlike in grad school. Work took over my life, because it had to, and also because I loved doing it. Now, when I get off work, I completely shut off my brain to all things work. I leave work at work and go home to live my life. This is really great because it helps to create a balance that grad school really didn’t have. It is a blessing and a curse at first.

If you start a job right away, you won’t really know what to do with the spare time and may find yourself trying to do more stuff to occupy the free time you have. I would advise against that and focus on just relaxing or doing new things. Life after grad school is not a race and occupying all the time with something may cause problems later on.

You’ll need to gain soft skills after grad school

The last thing that you may experience is having to learn how to be a person again. You may have lost a ton of social skills by working in a lab or office by yourself for years. It may be difficult to talk to people and do stuff on your own. These soft skills will come back but you may need to give it some time. I lost a ton of social skills while in grad school that I am frantically trying to get back. Luckily grad school prepares you to learn quickly so you will learn these skills much faster.

Final Thoughts

I think limiting this post abut life after grad school to less than 2k words is a good idea. I can go on and on about life outside of grad school and what you will experience. It has been quite a transition, but it is one that needed to be done. If you are in this position, let me know what your experience has been like since graduation? Do you agree with me or is my experience much different than yours? Let me know in the comments.

Talk about your mental health

Posted on May 30, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Story time! So this past weekend, I went to visit my parents and hang out with my brother and his girlfriend as well as my niece and nephew. It was a great time seeing everyone and I thoroughly enjoy when I get to spend time with them. Well, while I was visiting, I was discussing with my mom about my recent panic attacks. Yes, I have been getting quite a few ever since I made the transition from grad school to the real world. She told me something that gave me hope, other than telling me she supports me getting therapy and such. What she said was she feels relieved that millennials talk about mental health.

talking to other's about your mental health

Talking about mental health is a great way to normalize getting help and getting support. I am all for talking with others about my mental state and getting to know theirs as well. The amazing thing is, most of the time, people will listen to you and empathize.

I strongly believe that we need to openly discuss how we are feeling and our mental state. I feel a strange connection with other’s when I do this. Usually the other person is also going through something at that time and it’s nice to know that you are not alone. I frequently bring up that I have gone to therapy, that I have anxiety, that I have frequent panic attacks, and that i may or may not have some from of mental disorder. These things are more common than you know. According to the Mental Health Foundation, nearly 1/3 of millennials have some type of behavior health problem and suffer more from depression than older generations. So yes, it is very common.

We need to do more to make it known that people do not need to suffer alone. This is why I encourage you, especially those in grad school or college, to talk with your friends about mental health. Talk with adults about mental health and make it less of something that is somewhat taboo. We need to do better about this topic.

How to talk to others about your mental health

You may be asking yourself, “how the heck do I bring up my mental health to someone else?” or possibly “why should I do this? People won’t understand.” In this case, I have a few answers to this. First off, bringing up your mental health can be as simple as just saying you are feeling a bit anxious today about something. When you are talking with a friend or someone you work with, it is often common to bring up things that are a bit difficult. You may talk with a friend about something that happened in your life that has been hard. In this case, bring up how that has made you feel and maybe that there are some other things that are a bit difficult happening as well. Your friend will definitely talk about it with you.

If you are at work and you are really having a rough time, bring it up to a work buddy. Say that you are feeling a bit stressed or anxious about the work. They may have the same thing to say and you can work with them on giving each other support. I often bring up my anxiety to coworkers (make sure they are trustworthy if you are talking with your coworkers) and I let them know that I am feeling a bit anxious about work. They are always extremely supportive and many of them give extremely good advice on how to cope. I have never had a bad experience telling someone how I feel.

In grad school, find support

I think the end of my PhD was the most mentally draining experience of my life. Heck, I was already working when I was finishing my dissertation. I would work all day then come home and put in like 3 to 4 hours of work then go to bed and repeat. Jumping back and forth with mentally taxing tasks really messed me up. This is usually the case for many grad students. When this happens, please reach out to some form of support whether that’s a therapist, talking to a friend, or even talking with your adviser. Getting support during the stressful times can save you years of anxiety and possibly depression that occurs because of the mental gymnastics that comes with grad school. I got support from my friends, family, and a therapist. Without the support, then I don’t know how I would have finished.

In the working world, find support

The best part about life after grad school is actually having money. Use that money to get help from a licensed professional. Talk with them about your mental health and the coping mechanisms that are there to help reduce those feelings. Therapy is the best thing, I promise you. It is amazing at how a few sessions can cause such a drastic change on how you perceive emotions and feelings. If you want to learn more, check out my posts about my experience with therapy. I am starting therapy up again, so I will definitely write about my experience with therapy as a full time employee. I anticipate the sessions that I have will be a bit different than when I was in grad school.

Also, if you make friends at work, talk with them about mental health like I said above. That might be helpful. Aside from that, your job may have therapy coverage through their insurance. I’m hoping mine does, but we will see. Covid really helped companies realize that they need to focus on mental health. This brought up a ton of programs in big companies which focused on mental health awareness in the last 2 years. Take full advantage of that.

be kind and talk to people about your mental health

Final Thoughts

Talk about your mental health. Make sure people know how you feel so you do not suffer alone. People totally understand what you are going through and most people will try and help or at least listen to you. Talking about mental health and making it a normal thing to talk about is how we will all get better, or at least will help. We need to look out for each other and make sure we are all ok. Mental health is such an important thing to focus on and I hope to be one to help.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Thank goodness I am actually excited to blog again and the creative juices are flowing. I am coming out of a bit of a funk which has been very nice. Hopefully my mental state continues to improve as I’ve had a rough couple of months. You can read about the end of my doctorate here. It was stressful lol. Anyway, I will continue to keep blogging and help out as best I can. Peace!

Post PhD Depression

Posted on May 21, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Hello everyone! It’s been a few weeks since I updated you on life events. Life has been really crazy these past few months, with moving, finishing my PhD, and starting a new job. I am in a place where I can blog again, so that is what I intend on doing. In fact, I think I really need to do it to help with my mental health. I have been feeling a bit down lately and I believe that it is due to post PhD depression.

What is post PhD depression?

This is honestly a really good question. I have read quite a few articles on this subject after I started feeling a bit down myself. Post PhD depression is a depression that occurs after you finish your doctorate because you really don’t know what comes next and you lowkey miss doing the work that you did for the last 4 to 8 years.

Basically, the end of your PhD is very anti-climatic. I literally defended my thesis, was congratulated, then I was….done. There was no parade, no crazy feeling of relief, just done. People in a PhD program spend on average 6 years to finish a PhD. That’s a massive chunk of time for it to all just end. And because of this, I think feelings of depression, hopelessness, anxiety, and every other mix of feeling hits you at once.

The first thing that really hit me was feeling anxious of my next step. Of course I knew what that was, moving. I did it all wrong and will definitely write a blog post on how you should end you’re PhD before you go to work full time. In fact, I literally defended my thesis, moved out of my apartment, moved into an apartment in Miami, and started a job, all within like 10 days. I did not take the time to enjoy my time away from work at all. This happened because of miscommunication previously that made things really complicated for me.

When I started feeling down.

For me, it was about a month after living in Miami that I knew something wasn’t quite right. I thought that it was still my job and the anxiety that came with starting something foreign, but there was something else that didn’t quite feel right. The things that I loved doing just didn’t appeal to me and I was thinking about if I made the right choice or not. I literally went from research, something I love, to consulting, something that is foreign to me. That may have amplified the feelings, but in the end, I think it was just post PhD depression.

The feelings are still here, even 2 months after I moved. IN fact, they are currently at the worst levels right now that I have felt. Luckily, I had therapy for a long time, so the coping mechanisms I learned are really helping out. I know I have a long journey with these feelings though. Fortunately, I know I can handle them.

What I do to reduce the depression

Sometimes you just need to step away from what you are doing and just relax. I have a hard time just sitting and not doing anything, but lately I have been forcing myself to relax, meditate, go on walks, anything to get my mind off negative thoughts. I have been cooking pretty healthy dinners at night as well as staying on top of my workouts. When I come home, I will often just sit for a bit and try and relax after work. The depression does come but it goes as well. Usually when I am exhausted from work, the depression really kicks up. In these cases, I sit with the feelings, acknowledge that they are there, then just let them pass. Sometimes they stay a bit longer than I want. In this case, I will go on a walk, maybe do some writing, or I will hit up the gym. Workouts really do help a ton.

I am also listening to a ton of YouTube videos on the way to work about stoicism, which has made me a little more hopefully and happier in life. Also, I listen to Ajahn Brahm on YouTube as well. I highly suggest checking out Buddhist talks on YouTube. They have helped me so much throughout my PhD. I also have a ton of posts on this in my blog. Here’s a link to those posts.

I’m still trying to figure this out

It truly is amazing how life really takes you on a crazy roller coaster of emotions. One week, you are feeling great, everything is amazing, and the next, you are miserable. The older I get, the more I understand that this is just how things are…for everyone! No one has a prefect life, and things will be hard for everyone. Understanding thins and being ready for it is the way to fully embrace life and come out on top. Right now, I am in a depression because a large chapter of my life has come to an end. But, when I think about this, I always remember the quote from Seneca (or “Closing time” by Semisonic) that goes “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”.

This major chapter has ended and a new, possibly better chapter is starting. The thing is, the transition between chapters comes with a terrible price, post PhD depression. Fortuneatly, it too will pass and I will be well on my way to what ever lies before me. I am still trying to navigate this portion of my life, but I think I will be able to soon.

Please reach out to me or someone that knows what you are going through

I hope I did not ramble on and you were able to understand what I am saying. Post PhD depression is really, and many people will experience it. If you are that person, please reach out to someone and get help. You can always email me at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would love to be able to help, give advice, or just be there as support. We don’t have to go through this alone.

I would also suggest trying out some therapy. I used Talkspace in the past but I think I may try something else, maybe something in person. Let me link to my experience with therapy that you are welcome to check out. Here is a link. I hope this helps.

Final Thoughts.

It feels great to get back in to blogging. In fact, it is one of the few hobbies that have actually stuck with me. I love writing, which is weird to say, but it is true. I wish I kept up blogging throughout the end of my doctorate, but oh well. It is time to continue on helping those in need and helping myself alone the way. I hope all of you have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next one. Peace!

So, When are you done with school?

Posted on August 21, 2022 by benswaringen4310

Ah, the most asked question while I have been in grad school. Every single week, someone asks when I will be done with grad school and my program. Each time that it comes up, I roll my eyes and say the same thing, “soon, I hope”. I don’t mean to roll my eyes, it just happens. This is a question that every grad student will get and you just have to come up with a good way to tell the person that it is a long process and you don’t really know when it will be over, if it ever will. So, today, I just want to write about the frustration of this question and how I handle it.

Why people ask it in the first place.

People are curious about what you do in grad school and why you are doing it. Many master’s programs are set time limits and only classwork focused. People pretty much already know when that will be over so they may not ask you. If they do ask when you’ll be done with grad school, you can confidently tell them. In a PhD program, you actually don’t know when you’ll be done, especially when you first start.

People will ask PhD students when they are done because they have really no idea the process that happens. They might actually be curious, but it can be annoying for the student because it is the one question that really get’s brought up all of the time. People want to know when your major milestones are and the question of “when will you be done with grad school” is always an easy one.

Why It is FRUSTRATING

I get asked this a ton. My family wants to know. My neighbors want to know. Heck, just random strangers want to know. I get asked all the time. I usually tell them a year or possibly two. Now that I am at the end, I can safely say that I have 2 months left, which is exciting. But for the longest time, I had to make stuff up. Sometimes I would say that I really didn’t know when I would be finished. This is not an answer that people like to hear. This is also why it is so frustrating.

See, in a PhD program, it’s not like school. You don’t just have to get a certain number of credits then move on. No, you have to contribute to the research field, publish papers, get certain credits, pass a qualifying exam, pass your defense, and everything in between. I know people that finished a PhD in 4 years, and I know people that finished in 7. You aim for like 4.5 to 5 years but it all depends on your work, luck, and if all of the machines you have to use are working…lol.

More Frustration

It is also very frustrating because it adds a sense of urgency. When someone asks me how long I have left, I feel rushed. I feel like people want me to get out of school and stop messing around. A PhD is not school, it is a job/apprenticeship. When I hear people asking how long I have left, it’s the equivalent of asking a full time worker how long they have left working their job. It’s a dumb question. Of course, unless you are familiar with the PhD life, you won’t know what I mean by this. Everyone thinks that it is just school, when it really isn’t. Sorry for the rant.

What to do if someone asks you when you’ll be done?

Be nice. Do not show frustration because people will think you are being rude. If you just started, just say that you just started and it will be a long process. If they want years as an answer, just make a joke and say something like “I think they said 10 to 15 years” I do this as a joke and it always works. People won’t understand that you will never know when you are done. They just won’t. The best thing to do is just try and steer clear of having to answer that question or just be nice when it does come up. It will come up all of the time, I promise.

Final Thoughts

This is a bit of a shorter blog post. It is mostly a post for those that are frustrated by the question “when are you done with grad school?” It really is a question that grad students hear way too much and have to defend themselves each time. It seems like a harmless question, but it is one that causes a ton of hardship for grad schoolers.

If you are reading this, and know someone in grad school. Instead of asking them “when will you be done with grad school?” ask them, “how are things going in grad school?” or, better yet, “any cool findings in your research?” I think the last one is the best because we tend to find really cool things while doing research but have no one to talk to about it. I know, especially for me, this is a question that i would love to get. Unfortunately, it’s not one I ever do.

How a Massage Gun Helps With My Mental State

Posted on July 22, 2021 by benswaringen4310

Ok, I want to dedicate this blog post to the massage gun that I recently bought from amazon. Now, I am not one to just write a post for one particular product unless it has significantly helped me in some way.

I bought a massage gun about 2 months ago that I keep in my office. This is the one I bought.

So at first I bought it because I am terrible when it comes to stretching. I am constantly sore from workouts and needed a drastic change. I also had a discount, which I wish I had for you guys, because these can be awfully expensive :(. I think the discount was like 80% off too so I had to take full advantage of it. Anyway, I received the massage gun and immediately tried it out. It worked like a charm. I am not here to just tell you that a massage gun works on loosening muscle fibers. No, I want to tell you how it has helped with my mental state.

I want to start off by saying that I don’t know what is happening that is making me feel better, but it is working. So apparently I keep my stress in my shoulders. You can tell by the knots that are there. I was about to do a back workout one day when I decided to try the massage gun out and see if I could release those knots and activate my muscles. It did alot more than that. I worked my shoulders and lower back which caused me to relax more than I have in a very long time. In fact, I was so relaxed that I put off the gym until that night.

I tried the same thing the next day, this time before I did some meditation. Holy Cow! I immediately went into a pretty deep meditation and almost didn’t come out of it (lol). The massage gun is definitely causing an increase in serotonin or something but it has allowed me to relax, especially now when I am pretty stressed out. I will have to read some peer reviewed journal articles on massages and reduction in anxiety. I am sure that there is a reason that this is occuring.

For those that want to try something new for your anxiety, I would suggest investing in one of these massage guns. Even if it doesn’t get rid of your anxiety, at least your muscles will be relaxed and I am sure no one will complain about a nice massage.

If you happen to know why my anxiety goes away, let me know in the comments. I would prefer to know the actual mechanisms that come into play and how that affects the body. Thanks guys!

What I Do When I am STRESSED

Posted on July 14, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I wouldn’t write this blog unless I was in a stressful situation. I have quite a few things going on in my life so I thought I would share what I do to reduce the stress and become way more productive. Stress can cause all forms of problems, so reducing it is key to a happier and healthier life. Here’s a list of things I do

Exercise.
Meditate
Put on classical music or Lofi music
Drink less caffeine.
Read an article with something happy in it. I know this one is weird but changing my mood definitely helps
Follow my breathe. This is more mindfulness than anything
Remind myself that “This too will pass”
Watch the scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams and Matt Damon are at the park.
Watch Good Will Hunting if I have the time lol
Remind myself to look for the learning experience or the good that comes from the stressful situation. This is usually if I can’t control the stress.
Call up someone to just talk to. Sometimes by Talking to someone, your stress will significantly be reduced.
Go on frequent, short, walks
Pushups
Get plenty of sleep
Cook Something or bake something
Lastly, I stop thinking about the work that needs to be done, and I just do what can be done at the moment. Thinking about the work is wayyyyyyyy harder than actually doing it.

This was a pretty long list of things but I know you can find something in there that will help you. Let me know what you do to reduce stress. I would love to add more to this list.

How I Deal With FAILURE!!!

Posted on July 9, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I want to start off this blog telling you that I do not believe that there is such thing as failure when you have tried to do something. True failure comes from not even trying in the first place due to fear of not getting the result you want. People that tell you that they failed an exam, failed a marriage, failed really anything are not actually failing. Ok sorry to be redundant with all of the “failures” lol.

So why did I name this blog “How I Deal With Failure”? It’s because most people would rather see that than something like “How I deal With Finding Out a Different Way of Doing Something Because the Results Did Not Turn Out the Way I Planned”. It’s a mouth full isn’t it?

So let me tell you how I go about dealing with a situation that I was not expecting, or one that I did not like. I simply learn something from it. I have gone through a ton of therapy and have listened to a ridiculous amount of Buddhist talks to change my way of looking at “failures”. They are all learning experiences which means that they aren’t failures at all. Sure, you may have failed an exam, but you learned that the method of studying that you did wasn’t right. Sure, your marriage didn’t go as planned, but you learned that you were not in the right relationship. Sure, I failed an experiment and managed to spill leaded water all over the place, probably causing me to ingest the same concentrations of lead that were found in Flint, Michigan’s water, but I learned that I need to be more careful when it comes to things like that.

The only true failure is when you just don’t try. I tell people all of the time to just try and do something even though they “know for a fact that it will go bad”. The future is completely uncertain and you never know what will happen. I see how my thoughts stop me from even trying something, but I will force myself to do it, and then it turns out it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

By changing your mindset, and I believe this is a major part of cognitive behavioral therapy, you will see that failures do not exist. You you happen to screw up pretty badly, learn at least one thing from it. If you embarrass yourself and call that a failure, laugh about it and make it into a funny memory. Life is way too short to not take risks and worry about failure. I am learning a great deal about not being afraid to fail in grad school. I have been told “no” so many times and I have messed up more times than not, and you know what? I learn something each time and I continue on. I grow from these experiences and you will too. It’s a long process, but my God, it is life changing.

How I Deal with ANXIETY

Posted on June 24, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I used to have to see a therapist because my anxiety was getting way too bad. Fortunately, my health insurance covered the use of Talkspace for no additional cost, and I took full advantage of that. My therapist was so helpful and really changed the way that I look at anxiety. She told me that there are a few things that you should always do when having a panic attack, and I would like to share these with you guys.

Give your anxiety a name

My anxiety was called Ang. She told me to do this because it convinces your brain that anxiety is a thing and not just a state of mind. Then you can “stand up” to it like you would a bully. I have used this method a few times, mostly to acknowledge that my anxiety is there.

2. Keep exercising no matter what

I walk a ton throughout the day and do my virtual races (see my previous posts). I also go to the gym almost every day. Staying active decreases muscle tension and diverts you from what you are so anxious about. I mean, you can’t really be worrying about something if your doing stadiums lol.

3. Meditate and practice mindfulness

This was a major point that my therapist brought up. Train your mind to be able to cope with things and to be able to calm down in situations where you are anxious. This is a daily activity but so beneficial. I try and meditate right after lunch each day, using my Headspace app. I have seen such a reduction in the severity of my panic attacks and anxious moments. Even last week I prevented a huge panic attack because of meditation. I will have another blog post going over methods to do this so hold on a bit 🙂

Here’s a great book if you are interested https:/amzn.to/3vSo8HR

4. Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Look this bad boy up on the computer RIGHT NOW! This has saved my life multiple times and I am such a genuine person now because of it. This method focuses on changing cognitive distortions and behaviors by challenging your thoughts. There are so many YouTube videos on this so I won’t get into too much detail, but just know that it works but it takes time. Remember that this is a marathon, not a race.

5. Be kind to yourself

I think this may be the most important thing that you could ever possibly do. We have some really unrealistic expectations of ourselves and beat ourselves up if we don’t meet those expectations. My grad school marathon has been just that and I was miserable. I found that being kind to myself, laughing when I mess up, and being kind to others has helped me become less anxious and happier.

These are just a few of the many methods you can try. I hope that at least one works out for you. Remember, if you have questions about this, message me. I would absolutely love to talk about it.