Dating a Grad Student

Posted on June 17, 2023 by benswaringen4310

I wrote a blog post a few years ago about Dating a Law Student (link here), and it turned out to be a bit of a success. By success, I mean I get around 4 to 5 people a day reading that blog post, which is good for me. Today, I wanted to write about dating a grad student and what that is like. dating grad students can be a fun, exciting, and sometimes challenging time. But, I think, dating a grad student can be the best thing you do, and I want to discuss why. So, please come on this journey with me to find out the pros and cons of dating grad students.

Let’s look at the Pros

I love lists but today I will break it down more into sections when it comes to the pros of dating grad students. As I stated above, dating a grad student can be awesome. We do have to look at the pro of dating master’s students verse PhD students, though. For the most part, the pros of dating either one are the same. However, there are some differences that we do need to discuss so I will share the Pros of dating both types in this section.

1. They are smart

Grad students are extremely smart. I mean, they got high enough GPAs in undergrad to be accepted to a university to get a very high degree. Some of the smartest people I know have graduate degrees in some really complicated subjects such as Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. I also have friends that are extremely smart in other fields such as finance, marketing, business, etc. So, when dating a grad student, be aware that your conversations might be about subjects that are complex and very few people understand them. This makes it exciting to date someone very intelligent because you’ll learn a lot.

2. They are hard working

Another pro about dating a grad student is they are hard working and will definitely be successful in most things they do. Working hard is a great trait because not only will they work hard on what they do in school, but they will work hard on your relationship as well. They get stuff sone and will make sure that your relationship is on top of their list of things.

3. They will likely make some good money after graduating

Let’s face it, we all want to be stay at home significant others and want to watch Netflix all day while enjoying our lives. This might be reality when dating a grad student. I know for a fact that many grad degree recipients are making fat stacks at their jobs. However, I am not saying stay with someone for the money or have a relationship for the money. I am just pointing out that with a graduate degree, you’ll be extremely hirable as well as more likely to be well off financially. SO, if you are dating a grad student and it works out, you will probably be pretty well off financially later on.

4. Schedule Flexibility

I have to give credit to my girlfriend for this one. I did ask her the benefits of dating a grad student and she jokingly said “nothing” but then made it up with some good recommendations. She said that schedule flexability is a major plus. I do agree. Grad students often have very flexible schedules so they can plan an outing or a date practically whenever. I have taken off whole days just to go hang out with my girlfriend then went and worked at night.

I find this to be extremely true for PhD students as they aren’t really taking as many classes as master’s students so their schedules can be somewhat more flexible. Master students have some flexability as they are taking maybe 3 to 4 classes a semester, maybe less, and many of these classes just aren’t that hard. If you want to know how hard a master’s degree is, go check out my blog post about it (link here).

5. They probably know where the cheapest and best places to eat are

Grad students are usually extremely poor (read my blog post about it here), but a good thing about that is they will know some awesome places to go for food and a drink that are cheap and fun. I remember always talking to my friends about where to go to get something good for under 15 dollars. They would share with me all of the great places they found and I would share with them my favorite places.

Then, when my girlfriend would come visit, we would go there so we didn’t have to drop a ton of money for mediocre food. This is a great perk especially right now when money is even tighter for everyone. I loved this when I would visit my girlfriend in law school. She was in Miami too so things were very expensive, but she knew the right places to go so we didn’t go bankrupt from going out to eat.

Cons of dating a grad student

Here we go. Let us talk about the cons of dating a grad student, especially those overworked PhD students. Please do not be discouraged by this section. Dating a grad student is a great thing, but you might have to make a few sacrifices when taking on this journey. So, let’s talk about the cons of dating a grad student.

1. They are busy

I did bring up that there is flexibility in grad school, this is true but the time that they aren’t working might be a good time for rest. Towards the end of grad school, for me, I was working (no joke) 16 hour days. It was miserable and I don’t want to brag about that at all. This can be the case for many PhD students, especially when getting close to deadlines. I was working so much towards the end that I would frequently come home to a very unhappy cat and would have to apologize profusely that I wasn’t there for him. If you are dating a grad student, just know that they may be extremely busy, all of the time. It is something you just have to accept 🙁 sorry.

2. They are beyond poor.

I barely made enough to make rent while in grad school. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had money saved up prior, I wouldn’t have enough money to eat. This is a hardship, especially in relationships, because grad students just don’t have the money to really do much. You may find yourself paying for some of their meals or even an electric bill here and there. It’s a sad truth and one that could make or break a relationship. Just be aware that they will be poor and might not be able to do fun things because they have to get groceries and pay rent or they will be hungry and homeless.

3. They will complain about things you can’t really help with or might not understand

They will complain all the time about what’s going wrong with their experiments or in their classes or whatever. Things that you may not be able to relate to and that can be a bit frustrating. I know there were many things my girlfriend would bring up that I couldn’t relate to and help out with. You may find this to be the case in your relationship with a grad student, especially those in a PhD program. In this case, I would suggest just having them talk about it and being there to help with whatever you can.

4. They will have late nights in the lab, office, or library.

You may not see them until very late some nights. I was bad with getting home at 12 am some nights, after getting to campus at 7 am. This can really stink when you have plans to do something like dinner or just see them that day. I promise that this isn’t something that always happens, but it does happen a fair amount. Some nights, you may just have to meet them wherever they are and bring them food. This is totally fine and may make their night. I know if my girlfriend was able to bring me food while I was in the lab, I would be way happier to be there. Unfortunately, she was 6 hours away from me lol.

5. You probably won’t understand what they are doing most of the time

You probably won’t know what the heck they are doing in classes, in the lab, or in anything academic unless you were in the same field as them. Some of the stuff they do may seem simple but extremely important like taking care of rats. They might be in very difficult classes and bring up topics that just go right over your head or are just topics that don’t interest you. A good example is my research on lead solubility and talking to my girlfriend as well as friends about it.

They didn’t understand what I was talking about nor why I was so passionate about it. This can definitely be a con with dating grad students because they will be obsessed with topis that you know nothing about and they will probably talk a ton about those subjects. My girlfriend talks a ton about lawyer stuff and I just don’t see how that’s a fun thing to bring up lol (don’t tell her I said that). But, yes, this can be a hiccup and a challenge.

Final thoughts

Have you dated a grad student? If you have, do you agree with these and what else do you think would be fitting for these lists. Let me know in the comments.

Well, I hope you guys and gals are having a good day/week/year. I do appreciate you taking the time to read these blogs. You really make it worth it. Thanks. I will see you in the next one. Peace.

Post grad school burnout

Posted on June 7, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Guys, I have to admit that I am burnt out. Post grad school burnout has hit me hard and it is not fun. I know this is a pretty common occurrence with most graduates, but I was hoping that I was not the case, unfortunately (like most of my hypotheses in grad school), I was wrong. So, today I am going to go over what I am feeling, what I have done already to overcome the burnout, and possibly things that I will do in the future to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I will also provide some tips for dealing with the end of your grad school experience so you don’t experience/limit the experience of post grad school burnout.

How I know it’s burnout

First off, I have been working non-stop since I started my PhD. Heck, I was basically working prior to that as well and never really took much time off while in grad school or before going back. So, I am fairly certain, just based on that, that I am burned out.

However, grad school, in the beginning, was a bit slow and a peaceful time, especially during covid, so I was able to relax most days, put in maybe like 25-30 hours of work a week, and then just enjoy the rest of the time. Because of this, I didn’t really get burnt out. Unfortunately, as one goes along with their doctorate, you start to get busier and busier, until eventually you are running full force for 8-16 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week. Yes, that was me towards the end.

I knew I was burnt out because there were times where I would have to drink 2 energy drinks and about 2 or 3 coffees to stay awake and my energy level was beyond low. I pushed myself way beyond what I should have and I honestly regret it. It is not worth my health.

What people say about working hard and how that affects burnout

In grad school and even now, I would read articles about hustle culture and constantly being “on”. Working late nights each night and putting in overtime are just things that “successful people do”. I took that to heart. Yes, it is one of the dumbest possible things that I could do. I was submersing myself in YouTube videos on side hustles, working multiple jobs, blogging non-stop, as well as staying up late to finish projects. Sure, I was extremely productive, but it wasn’t worth it. It never is worth it.

People often say that you need to work hard to succeed. Sure, I believe that you need to put in some work, but they never tell you “how much work”. Think about it for a second. What is the definition of “hard work?” How do we even quantify hard work? Is it working 50 hour weeks? 100 hour weeks? or are they saying work hard and produce maybe one or two things a week? I really don’t know what that statement means and it means alot to different people.

Working hard in grad school could mean producing one manuscript each semester or just waking up to do one experiment. For me, I didn’t know what was meant by hard work and had no metric to go off of so I pushed myself harder and harder. I think that is what society and our jobs want us to do. Work until you literally can’t anymore.

How it’s going

Because I had no way to really compare myself to what hard work was or what was enough, I just kept going. Now I am tired, depressed, anxious, happy, sad, exhausted, energized, and everything in between. I have a hard time really doing anything that I love at night because I am drained. Coffee doesn’t help, energy drinks just make me jittery, and my workouts have suffered. Post grad school burnout has hit me hard… but I won’t let it stop me.

What I am going to do to prevent post grad school burnout

Ok, so the first thing that I will do and what you need to do if you are experiencing this is to take a break. At first, it might just have to be just taking a weekend at a time to just sit inside, watch movies, or possibly just sleep a ton. For me, I am cutting back on going out and planning to do a ton of things over the weekend and just vegging. I still workout on the weekends and do some small activities such as walking the bridge by my place or fishing, but that’s it.

You need to start with small things like that. I was going on trips every weekend and the past few weekends I have been driving long distances to do stuff. I am reducing that big time. If I don’t then my body will definitely stop me. But start with just slowing down. That’s the first step.

reduce grad school burnout with a vacation

Take a vacation or a sabbatical

This is where I messed up. When you finish grad school, take a vacation. Take a very long vacation and do not start a job right away. You may not realize how stressed and overworked you were towards the end! Trust me on this one, take time off, go on a trip to another country, enjoy the time away from work and go do something you’ve been putting off because you were working all of the time. Life is not about work so stop listening to people when they tell you that you need to get a job right away! You just completed one of the most stressful things in life and now it’s time to rest.

I honestly think this is the most important thing you can do. I know too many people that did not do this and they are in terrible situations dealing with burnout. Life is meant to be enjoyed and experienced. A job can wait. And if you are overly burnt out, you might be out of a job sooner than later due to low performance. Take a bleeping vacation.

I have a few trips that are planned for this year to take some time off and enjoy this life. Luckily I make a good salary compared to grad school so I can afford better trips. Unfortunately, my trips are at the end of the year, so I have to rely on taking it easy to reduce post grad school burnout.

Seek help for post grad school burnout

One thing that I have noticed with this burnout is I am fairly depressed. I am worn down, anxious, and not having a great mental state most days. I am fine talking about this subject, in fact, if you are new to this blog, that is what it’s all about, mental health. But lately, the burnout has ramped up these emotions and feelings and I actually decided that I need help. I am on Talkspace again (check out my blogs about it). I just started and was match with a therapist. We will see how it goes and if it can help because I need it.

When you get burnt out after grad school, you’ll probably sink into a depression. Heck, you may just have a case of post grad school depression. Please, please, please get help. It is not worth suffering alone and it is totally fine to admit that you need a bit of a push to get better. Getting help can really make a huge difference and get you back in the game. I’m sure my therapist will also help to come up with ways to help me reduce post grad school burnout.

Don’t take things so seriously

You have done it. You have proven to yourself and others that you work hard, you’re intelligent, and you’re awesome. So stop caring about it all (care a tiny bit but not a lot). Take time to enjoy life and take things slower. If you do this then burnout will never come, I promise you that. For me, I am putting in enough effort to show that I am a good person, but I am not and will not over commit to my profession. I won’t put in those 60 hour weeks unless I absolutely have to and am paid and I won’t go the extra mile to take on work that robs me of my time with others. I will start taking it slow and smelling the flowers and enjoying the time off. No, I will not take a job that is high paying where I will have to give up my soul. It is not worth it and you will burn out. Heck, you might have a heart attack if you keep up how things were at the end of a doctorate.

The only thing you should ever take serious are your relationships with others and your interests. The best part about after grad school is being able to take those hobbies up again as well as developing deeper relationships with others. That’s where your effort needs to go. I promise you that spending your time doing what you love to do will never cause burnout..at least I hope not.

Final thoughts

Guys, I have post grad school burnout but I am getting help. It is time to take control of my life and actually listen to my own advice. If you are in the same situation as me, please reach out to someone. You have my email so maybe I can provide some assistance. We are in this together and just know you are not alone.

I hope you enjoyed this post because I have plenty more coming in the next few weeks. Until next time, peace.

ChatGPT written blog post on mental health

Posted on June 6, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Today, I wanted to try something out that I haven’t ever done before…using ChatGPT to blog for me. I wanted to see how it would perform given a prompt. So, today I am sharing with all of you a ChatGPT written blog post on mental health in Grad school. The text will be the same but I am adding a few links to references throughout the post. So, without further adue, here is a ChatGPT written blog post on mental health in grad school.

The prompt

Write blog on mental health in grad school ChatGPT

Title: Navigating the Challenges: Mental Health in Grad School

Introduction:

Graduate school is often viewed as an exciting and intellectually stimulating phase of one’s academic journey. It offers the opportunity to delve deeper into a subject of interest, conduct research, and develop specialized skills. However, the demands and pressures of graduate education can take a toll on students’ mental health. The intense workload, high expectations, competitive environment, and the often isolating nature of research can contribute to stress, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. In this blog, we will explore the various aspects of mental health in grad school and provide strategies for maintaining well-being during this critical period.

Acknowledging the Challenges:

Graduate school presents unique challenges that can impact students’ mental well-being. It’s crucial to recognize these challenges to effectively address them. Some common stressors include:

a) Workload and Time Management: Balancing coursework, research, teaching responsibilities, and personal commitments can lead to feelings of overwhelm and burnout.

b) Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome: The pursuit of excellence and constant self-doubt can lead to anxiety and a fear of failure.

c) Isolation and Loneliness: The individualized nature of research and long hours spent in the lab or library can result in social isolation, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.

Prioritizing Self-Care:

Maintaining mental well-being requires intentional self-care practices. Here are some strategies to consider:

a) Time Management and Boundaries: Establish realistic goals, prioritize tasks, and set boundaries to prevent work from consuming your entire life. Schedule breaks and make time for activities that bring you joy.

b) Seek Support: Build a support network of friends, classmates, and mentors who can understand and empathize with your experiences. Reach out to campus counseling services or seek therapy if needed.

c) Healthy Lifestyle: Prioritize physical well-being by exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and maintaining a balanced diet. Physical health has a direct impact on mental health.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset:

Adopting a positive mindset can significantly contribute to your mental well-being during grad school. Consider the following:

a) Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognize the progress you make, and be kind to yourself when facing setbacks.

b) Embrace Failure as Growth: Reframe failures and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. Remember that setbacks are a natural part of the research and academic journey.

c) Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Practice self-compassion by replacing self-criticism with self-care and self-acceptance.

Seeking Help and Support:

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you find yourself struggling with your mental health, consider the following options:

a) Campus Resources: Most universities offer counseling services, workshops, and support groups specifically tailored to the needs of graduate students. Explore the resources available to you.

b) Professional Help: If your mental health concerns persist or intensify, consider seeking professional help from therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.

Conclusion:

Maintaining good mental health during graduate school is crucial for overall well-being and academic success. By acknowledging the challenges, prioritizing self-care, cultivating a positive mindset, and seeking help when needed, you can navigate the pressures and demands of grad school more effectively. Remember that you are not alone, and your mental health should always be a priority. With the right strategies and support, you can thrive academically and personally throughout your graduate school journey.

So How did it do?

OK, everyone, Ben is back. How did it do? Was it a pretty decent blog post or do you think a blog post written by a human is better? Let me know in the comments your thoughts. I wanted to share this to show you what ChatGPT written blog posts might look like. They are really well written but sound so robotic (obviously). Don’t worry, I won’t be using ChatGPT to write blog posts. I feel like it takes away the connection with the author and the reader. I do think that using ChatGPT to write blog posts will be the thing of the future, though.

Get a PhD in What?

Posted on June 5, 2023 by benswaringen4310

So you read my blog for the past few years and now you are asking yourself” What should I get a PhD in?” This is totally normal after being convinced by me that getting a PhD is 100% worth it. But finding the right PhD and in what is quite a journey. So today I want to help you find out the right right PhD for you and answer the question “PhD in what?”

Ask yourself a few questions

Before you start the search of what you’re PhD will be in, ask yourself a few questions:

Do I want to devote the next few years of my life to one very small research problem?
Will I be willing to give up good paying jobs in order to devote this time to grad school?
Do I even like school lol?
What value will getting a PhD get me?
Will I be ok with failure?
Do I really want to do this?

If you answered yes to every one of these then congrats! You are officially insane lol. Just playing. I am very excited that you have come to the conclusion that grad school will help you in your life and bring value to whatever endeavors you have in the future. This is when the fun begins.

Get a PhD in what you are passionate about

After you answered all of those questions, it’s time to really sit down and see what you are passionate about. For me, I was passionate about water so I got my PhD in water systems, focused on Pb solubility in drinking water pipes. You might find yourself liking something like “Medieval jousting and it’s repercussions on the economy of Germany in the 16th century”. Heck, there is probably someone that will take you on just for that. Getting a PhD in what you are passionate about is the key to success because if you choose something that doesn’t interest you then you will find it very difficult to get through the program.

Get a PhD in what you want to find out

Another way to go about choosing what you want to get your PhD in is finding a subject that has very little knowledge about it and focusing on that. This is especially good to do if your intent is on going into academia afterwards as you’ll be an expert in a very niche field. I did Pb research, which has quite a few papers on the subject, so an academic tract wasn’t really going to happen, unless I brought some crazy innovative research to the field. For those wanting to get into academia, a good way to produce a ton of papers prior is getting into something that has an impact, but very few people focus on it.

An example of this was a few years ago when PFAS was showing up as a major contaminant (it still is), but people were just finding out about it and how it was affecting the environment. If you were to see that prior to grad school and jump on that research then you’d be getting offers all over the place as soon as you graduated. Everything written by you would be novel and that would really draw a ton of attention towards you.

Get a PhD in what the world needs

Sometimes you need a PhD to get a position in a company that will change the world, or at least help it. Getting a PhD doesn’t just prepare you for research but also for upper level positions where you will be required to hold a high ranking among those in the industry. One reason that i started my PhD was to be open to these possibilities and have a say in the world. People will respect you much more if you have a PhD, trust me. Those three letters behind my name really carries weight and it will help you get to positions where you might be in charge of saving the world. Getting a PhD in what the world needs, whether that’s in science, politics, human rights, or everything in between. Go for it, be the change we desperately need.

getting a phd in what you want to do with your life

Lastly, get a PhD in what you just want to know more about.

Getting a PhD is about finding the answers to some very difficult questions that only a handful of people may ever ask. If you want to just know the most about something, go get a PhD in it. If you want to know everything about jousting in Germany, go for it. Make sure you answer those questions at the beginning of this post, then apply. Life is so short and if you are truly interested in something then who cares what the world says to do, go get a PhD in what you want to know more about.

Final Thoughts

Getting a PhD was the best thing that I ever had the courage to do. It was very difficult to make that decision and leave a stable career to go pursue something that 50% of people fail. But look at me now! I am a doctor. I am a research scientist, and I absolutely love it.

If you are having a hard time with what you want to do in a PhD program, send me an email at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would be happy to help out. And no, I won’t charge you anything lol. I feel like people think that most bloggers are just trying to make money. I honestly just want to help out and knowing people read this and trust me is worth more than gold. This blog is for you guys, for those on the fence about grad school and those neck deep in the stress that is grad school living.

Anyway guys and gals, I hope that you found this article interesting. If you do, leave a comment or a like to show you enjoyed it. If you absolutely hated it, well, comment that you hated it lol. Feedback, no matter how rough it is, is always welcome. Anyway, I hope you guys have a great summer, and I will see you in the next one. Peace.

Life After Grad School

Posted on June 4, 2023 by benswaringen4310

Life after grad school involves some very interesting things. Transitioning into the real world has been such an eventfully/stressful/exciting time. I have spent, I believe, about 24 years of my life in an academic setting and I was even taking classes while working full time a few years ago, so you can say I am a long term academic. I went as far as I could go in my education and it is time to make the change into being an adult. So today, I want to discuss the transition from college to full time work and give ways to make the transition easier. Hold on tight because I think this might be a longer one of my posts.

Eventfulness of life after grad school

Let us first start off with the eventfulness of this transition. For me, I defended my thesis, moved to Miami!!!! and started a new job, all within 2 weeks. Yes, you read that right…two weeks. For many people, not including myself, they would have probably taken a few weeks to a few months off of work to just go and be free for a bit. That was not me. In fact, I transitioned so quickly that I didn’t really have time to plan out the whole move, so I spent the following weekends coming back to Gainesville to finish packing

Stress of moving after grad school

So next, let’s discuss the stressfulness of the move and transition. As you can imagine, moving 6 hours to a new city, to start a job, is nerve racking. I really didn’t have any time to move stuff, say my goodbyes, and finish my doctorate in those 2 weeks, but I did my best. Given the time that I defended, I had a good month before I had to submit my thesis for the college. If I had to finish that during the time where I moved then I would have been in a ton of trouble. Luckily that wasn’t the case. It still added a ton of stress to the move though. also, just starting a new job, finding where it’s at, meeting new people, and even driving there was super stressful. I am still fairly stressed out, but not nearly as much as when I first started 3 months ago.

It’s exciting after grad school

Lastly, exciting. New beginnings are always filled with so many emotions. I was sad, happy, depressed, but mostly, excited. I was starting something that was brand spanking new! And on top of starting something new, I had a cool new title of Dr. to go along with it. That is super freaking exciting and I definitely was. First off, Miami is just an exciting place. As someone who grew up in small cities, moving to a very large one was a bit overwhelming but mostly exiting.

There are millions of things to do just around my apartment. I literally can walk a few blocks and go see a Miami Heat game, then go to Wynwood and see the murals on the building, then I can just go walk to Miami Beach. Luckily, I am in prime location for everything. I am also meeting brand new people, working on exciting projects, and most importantly, I get to see my girlfriend and cat when I come home at the end of the day.

What to Expect Moving from Academia

Moving on from academia and into the real world will be very exciting at first. You will actually be more excited than anything. You’ll start a new job somewhere, possibly move away to a new state or even country, and start your life. There will be new people to meet, paychecks that are higher than any that you have ever seen in your life, and a whole bunch of free time where you don’t have to do homework. You will be overwhelmed with the excitement for at least a few weeks.

You’ll start having weird feelings

Next, you’ll start to miss grad school. You will miss is a lot! This usually comes about a month to a month and a half in to your new job. You are going to start missing the late nights in the lab, the stress of getting experiments done, and you might even miss writing papers for publication. If you are in an academic profession out of grad school then you may not feel this way as you are just continuing with what you did in grad school lol. But if you are industry, you’ll definitely feel this way. Grad school has been your life for so long and it’s practically your identity. You were/are a researcher and not you are an employee, possibly just a number. So, it is completely fine to feel a bit lost and sad that you are not in grad school anymore.

It won’t last long

Luckily, this only lasts a few months, then you are right back to feeling ok and not as sad that you are gone. Usually the sad feeling goes away 2 to 3 months after you finish. For some, it is much shorter of a time, for others, much longer. You are starting something new so feelings of regret and sadness will come and go. In the show How I Met Your Mother, they refer to it as “graduation goggles“. The feeling is of nostalgia, even if your time was miserable. It goes away, don’t worry.

You might feel a bit depressed towards the 2 month mark when leaving academia. I think this is mostly due to post graduation depression or post PhD depression, which I have written about in my blob post (here). I, unfortunately, am in this stage right now, but I believe there is hope that I will transition out of this. If you are in this phase, please, please, please, see a therapist or talk with someone. Every single grad student that I know has experienced this after graduating and starting a job. Most of my friends are getting help and I absolute love that. I also need to get help, which will happen, I promise.

What to expect when starting a job

Let me tell you that you are going to be a sorts of confused when starting a real job. It is exciting, and there is a ton of opportunity to grow and learn, but the beginning will be rough. I started an engineering position and I feel so dumb. Like beyond dumb! I literally have a PhD in engineering and biogeochemistry and feel dumb when someone asks me a question. I am back to the bottom of the totem pole, but that’s just how it is and I think that all PhDs will have this. Getting a doctorate means you are extremely knowledgeable in one subject, not all of them, so you won’t really know much at first. The best part of a PhD, however, is being able to pick up on things very quickly. We learned how to learn quickly and grasp very difficult concepts. So, if you are in the position where you feel dumb, just know you wont feel this way too long.

Feeling lost after grad school

Another thing that you will feel is very lost. You likely were hired for a large firm with a ton of employees(>1000). You probably came from a lab or research group of like 4 to 10 people. Yeah, you might be a little lost and have no clue who to go to for help. It happens and it is all part of the process. in fact, you probably won’t be beneficial to the company for at least 6 months, and that’s about as long as it takes to just understand what the heck you’re supposed to do. Just go with the flow, put in some work, and ask questions!!!!

For me, I have a really hard time asking people questions. I have a hard time just talking to people (possible social anxiety?) but I am putting myself in a position where I need to ask questions instead of just finding out myself because that would take too much time. Grad students are often not very good at asking questions because we are afraid we will look dumb (this could just be me, who knows). You have to do it though. It may take some time to be comfortable with asking questions, but I promise you will eventually get there.

Free time after grad school

Another thing that I noticed was I don’t think about my work when get home, unlike in grad school. Work took over my life, because it had to, and also because I loved doing it. Now, when I get off work, I completely shut off my brain to all things work. I leave work at work and go home to live my life. This is really great because it helps to create a balance that grad school really didn’t have. It is a blessing and a curse at first.

If you start a job right away, you won’t really know what to do with the spare time and may find yourself trying to do more stuff to occupy the free time you have. I would advise against that and focus on just relaxing or doing new things. Life after grad school is not a race and occupying all the time with something may cause problems later on.

You’ll need to gain soft skills after grad school

The last thing that you may experience is having to learn how to be a person again. You may have lost a ton of social skills by working in a lab or office by yourself for years. It may be difficult to talk to people and do stuff on your own. These soft skills will come back but you may need to give it some time. I lost a ton of social skills while in grad school that I am frantically trying to get back. Luckily grad school prepares you to learn quickly so you will learn these skills much faster.

Final Thoughts

I think limiting this post abut life after grad school to less than 2k words is a good idea. I can go on and on about life outside of grad school and what you will experience. It has been quite a transition, but it is one that needed to be done. If you are in this position, let me know what your experience has been like since graduation? Do you agree with me or is my experience much different than yours? Let me know in the comments.