Talk about your mental health

Story time! So this past weekend, I went to visit my parents and hang out with my brother and his girlfriend as well as my niece and nephew. It was a great time seeing everyone and I thoroughly enjoy when I get to spend time with them. Well, while I was visiting, I was discussing with my mom about my recent panic attacks. Yes, I have been getting quite a few ever since I made the transition from grad school to the real world. She told me something that gave me hope, other than telling me she supports me getting therapy and such. What she said was she feels relieved that millennials talk about mental health.

talking to other's about your mental health

Talking about mental health is a great way to normalize getting help and getting support. I am all for talking with others about my mental state and getting to know theirs as well. The amazing thing is, most of the time, people will listen to you and empathize.

I strongly believe that we need to openly discuss how we are feeling and our mental state. I feel a strange connection with other’s when I do this. Usually the other person is also going through something at that time and it’s nice to know that you are not alone. I frequently bring up that I have gone to therapy, that I have anxiety, that I have frequent panic attacks, and that i may or may not have some from of mental disorder. These things are more common than you know. According to the Mental Health Foundation, nearly 1/3 of millennials have some type of behavior health problem and suffer more from depression than older generations. So yes, it is very common.

We need to do more to make it known that people do not need to suffer alone. This is why I encourage you, especially those in grad school or college, to talk with your friends about mental health. Talk with adults about mental health and make it less of something that is somewhat taboo. We need to do better about this topic.

talk about your mental health

How to talk to others about your mental health

You may be asking yourself, “how the heck do I bring up my mental health to someone else?” or possibly “why should I do this? People won’t understand.” In this case, I have a few answers to this. First off, bringing up your mental health can be as simple as just saying you are feeling a bit anxious today about something. When you are talking with a friend or someone you work with, it is often common to bring up things that are a bit difficult. You may talk with a friend about something that happened in your life that has been hard. In this case, bring up how that has made you feel and maybe that there are some other things that are a bit difficult happening as well. Your friend will definitely talk about it with you.

If you are at work and you are really having a rough time, bring it up to a work buddy. Say that you are feeling a bit stressed or anxious about the work. They may have the same thing to say and you can work with them on giving each other support. I often bring up my anxiety to coworkers (make sure they are trustworthy if you are talking with your coworkers) and I let them know that I am feeling a bit anxious about work. They are always extremely supportive and many of them give extremely good advice on how to cope. I have never had a bad experience telling someone how I feel.

In grad school, find support

I think the end of my PhD was the most mentally draining experience of my life. Heck, I was already working when I was finishing my dissertation. I would work all day then come home and put in like 3 to 4 hours of work then go to bed and repeat. Jumping back and forth with mentally taxing tasks really messed me up. This is usually the case for many grad students. When this happens, please reach out to some form of support whether that’s a therapist, talking to a friend, or even talking with your adviser. Getting support during the stressful times can save you years of anxiety and possibly depression that occurs because of the mental gymnastics that comes with grad school. I got support from my friends, family, and a therapist. Without the support, then I don’t know how I would have finished.

In the working world, find support

The best part about life after grad school is actually having money. Use that money to get help from a licensed professional. Talk with them about your mental health and the coping mechanisms that are there to help reduce those feelings. Therapy is the best thing, I promise you. It is amazing at how a few sessions can cause such a drastic change on how you perceive emotions and feelings. If you want to learn more, check out my posts about my experience with therapy. I am starting therapy up again, so I will definitely write about my experience with therapy as a full time employee. I anticipate the sessions that I have will be a bit different than when I was in grad school.

Also, if you make friends at work, talk with them about mental health like I said above. That might be helpful. Aside from that, your job may have therapy coverage through their insurance. I’m hoping mine does, but we will see. Covid really helped companies realize that they need to focus on mental health. This brought up a ton of programs in big companies which focused on mental health awareness in the last 2 years. Take full advantage of that.

be kind and talk to people about your mental health

Final Thoughts

Talk about your mental health. Make sure people know how you feel so you do not suffer alone. People totally understand what you are going through and most people will try and help or at least listen to you. Talking about mental health and making it a normal thing to talk about is how we will all get better, or at least will help. We need to look out for each other and make sure we are all ok. Mental health is such an important thing to focus on and I hope to be one to help.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Thank goodness I am actually excited to blog again and the creative juices are flowing. I am coming out of a bit of a funk which has been very nice. Hopefully my mental state continues to improve as I’ve had a rough couple of months. You can read about the end of my doctorate here. It was stressful lol. Anyway, I will continue to keep blogging and help out as best I can. Peace!

Grad School Mental Breakdown

Today I am going to cover a very tough subject and that is grad school mental breakdowns. Everyone that I know has their own story. I have a few stories and I will share one with you. Having a mental breakdown in grad school, let alone life, is a fairly common occurrence. Life is not easy, in any sense. In fact, it is the hardest thing that you will ever do. Having a mental breakdown can be a scary thing, but there are some things that we can do to prevent them and even take control when they occur.

My Mental Breakdown(s) in grad school

I have had quite a few grad school mental breakdowns, Usually they have all occurred in the first year to year and a half of grad school. This is a weird transition for many people and these breakdowns usually occur then. The biggest mental breakdown was right before Covid. It actually cause me to seek help from a therapist. I was doing my thing in school and starting my research. I was alone for a great deal of time and always had a feeling of loneliness, but never anything that really made me have a breakdown. It wasn’t until, I think Christmas time, where I snapped. I was stressed from school, I had no one to talk to, and the feeling of loneliness overwhelmed me. My anxiety was through the roof and I had some episodes of pretty bad depression. This last a few months until therapy really started to kick in.

Mental Breakdowns are Different For Everyone

Grad school affects everyone differently. Some people are fortunate enough to go through and never have a mental breakdown. Others, have a hard time with them. Grad school mental breakdowns also have different forms. You might have a breakdown because you failed a test. You might have an overwhelming sense of anxiety, sadness, depression, and any other negative emotion. But this may only last a day or so. Some mental breakdowns can occur even longer. For me, it lasted much longer than I wanted it to. Yes, I still have mental breakdown, but they are the shorter types now.

Be Prepared

Grad school is stressful. Sometimes, the stress will be so much that it may lead to a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, this is normal. Why this is a normal thing is beyond me and I really wish people wouldn’t push themselves to the absolute limit. It’s terrible on your health and mental state. The best think you can do is prepare for something like this to happen. Until the whole system changes, there will always be mental breakdowns for grad students and college student.

One of the best ways to prepare is to handle stress early on. Grad school has a funny way of going from slow to 100 mph in a day. You might be having a good week, low stress, then get hit with 4 assignments and 3 papers all due in a matter of days. This can be extremely stressful. Being prepared and having the ability to cope with the stress can help train your mind to be able to handle the hardships that are going to come your way. One way of doing this is to take breaks when feeling overwhelmed. Do meditation. Finding a stress relief method such as exercise or even combining meditation and exercise by going on a meditation walk (Yes that is a thing).

Also, if you are able to, do not procrastinate. I think many mental breakdowns can be avoided just by starting early and getting small amounts of work done each day. Imagine you have a few assignments due but put them off until the last minute. You’re going to be stressed beyond belief. You probably won’t do your best work, which might cause you to get an F, and you’ll be stressing over it until you get started. All of these combined are a recipe for disaster.

If you Are Having a Grad School Mental Breakdown

So, you’ve tried to prepared, but you still had a grad school mental breakdown. What can you possibly do? So, there are a few things that you can do in order to reduce the breakdown that I think are quite beneficial. Some of these are really easy to do and I use them often to help reduce the chance of me having one as well as reduce the breakdown while I am having it. Hopefully some of these help.

Grad School mental breakdown
cry it out

Cry it out and then move on

I don’t remember the last time that I have cried while having a mental breakdown. I do know people that cry it out though. This works if it is something like failing a test, being overwhelmed at the moment, or anything else where the breakdown is a bit short. Just cry it out. Cry as much as possible and wear yourself out. Get it completely out of your system. As soon as you are done, you’ll probably be so exhausted that the mental breakdown doesn’t faze you anymore.

This is a good moment to calm down, forgive yourself for feeling bad, and learn from the experience. Maybe after a good cry, you realize that the grade really isn’t that bad or you might not have as much work as you think you do. You’ll have a bit of clarity afterwards and that can help solve many of your problems. A friend of mine has done this multiple times and they ended up better than fine. They also graduated with many honors and a great career.

Run Away

I don’t necessarily mean run away from the problem. I actually mean to physically run. get yourself up and go on a long run or, better yet, go sprint. You’ll probably be full of anxiety and unwanted energy. Go exhaust yourself. You really can’t have a mental breakdown when you’re running. This is kind of like crying it out. You exhaust yourself and then you might gain some clarity afterwards. You can also go to the gym and just lift heavy weights instead. I find this difficult though because during a mental breakdown, you’re mind is racing and lifting weight might not be distracting enough.

Grad School mental breakdown

Spend time with others or alone if you need to

Grad school can be lonely and this might cause some unwanted feelings to come up. If you have a mental breakdown because of being alone all of the time, try and spend some time with others. If it is the opposite and you are having a breakdown because you are overwhelmed with people, try getting alone for a while. On the other hand, if you need to be alone, try and go somewhere that in nature. Go to a park, or walk a trial in the woods. If you need to see people, call up a friend and ask them to dinner. Go somewhere that’s busy and you’ll see many people.

If you are having a mental breakdown but don’t want to go do stuff, try calling up a friend or loved one and just talk. Get them to take your mind off whatever is making you have a breakdown. Talk with them about why this happened and maybe they can give you another way of looking at what’s going on. Sometimes, you can solve your problems and calm down all because someone talked to you and possible gave you another way of looking at your problems. Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call.

Grad School Mental Breakdown Getting help

Get Some Professional Help

This is what I did. I signed up through Talkspace.com and was in contact with a therapist right away. If you are having a ton of grad school mental breakdowns, it probably means that you are not able to handle the stress and emotions as well as you could. A therapist will help you with this. I highly, highly, highly recommend seeing a therapist more than anything to be honest. My therapist truly made a difference in my life. I rarely have mental breakdowns anymore, and if I do, I know how to handle them and learn from them. I wrote all about my experience, (here). Go check it out and see if it’s something that’s right for you.

Most Of All, Be Kind To Yourself

I think the most heartbreaking thing that I see grad students doing when they are stressed or if things go badly is that they blame themselves or put themselves down. If you truly want to end the vicious cycle of grad school mental breakdowns occurring all of the time, you have to be kind to yourself. This means not beating yourself up if you didn’t do you best work or negatively talking about yourself when things go bad. I am not saying to blame other’s either, unless it’s truly their fault. I am saying not to blame anyone.

If things are overly stressful, don’t put yourself down for putting off the work until last minute. Instead, tell yourself that you will be more proactive next time and learn from your experience. You might have a mental breakdown at first, but if you are kind to yourself and learn from your mistakes, you’ll have much fewer.

I think what really helped me in the end was being kind to myself, learning from each experiencing, and growing from them. At first, this can be a hard thing to do, but keep going. Things are always hard at first but get easier the more you do it.

Final Thoughts

Having a grad school mental breakdown does not mean you are crazy or going to fail. It means that you are human. The best thing that humans can ever do is learn from every experience, get right back up, and keep pushing on. See, grad school never gets easier. It never will. You just get better. You can either “survive grad school” or you can thrive in it. If you are here because you are having mental breakdowns in grad school, remember that you are not alone. Every grad student has at least had a few. You’re human, it’s going to happen.

If you are having trouble with grad school and need some advice, I am always here to help. Send me an email at benswaringen@yahoo.com. We can talk about ways to make sure that you get the most out of grad school as well as leave without going insane. I hope you all have a wonderful day that is stress free. I will see you all in the next one. Peace.

Blogging to Help With Mental Health

This post about blogging to help with mental health may contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

Today is an important day for me. Today, I will have written 50 blog posts. That may not seem like many, but trust me, it’s a ton for someone like me. I started writing blogs as a form of outlet, almost like journaling. My anxiety was creeping back, even though I had a significant arsenal of coping mechanisms. Journaling was not one of those methods that I had tried before. Also, I wanted to give back to the world somehow. There is already too much suffering in the world and I wanted to add a contribution to help, even just one person, suffer a little less. Today I want to discuss why I am blogging to help with my mental health and why you should too.

I am Super Excited

I received an email today about my blogs. I was so overwhelmed because it was an appreciation email. They loved my writing and wanted to let me know that they loved it so much, they couldn’t stop reading. This is what it is all about, my friends. Blogging to help your mental health is more than just writing about my problems, it’s finding solutions and helping those with the same problems, solve their problems. So many people in this world just care about themselves. I completely understand that mentality because life had me feeling this way for a very long time. I found this was helpful to get what you wanted in life, but you aren’t really contributing in the best way you can.

Why Did I Start

Two months ago, I decided to take a journey to help people, rather than just help myself. I wanted to help graduate students (and now undergrads) that were experiencing mental health and giving helpful ways to cope. I also wanted to help with their fitness, but soon found that focusing on mental health needed more of my attention. Don’t worry though, more fitness blogs will surely follow. I found that the more I wrote, the more feedback I received, the less anxious I became. Blogging is a good coping mechanism, but mixing it with giving helpful advice, well that’s a recipe for success.

How Blogging and Journaling can Help Your Mental Health

One of the best things that I learned to do was write down what I was feeling and figure out all of the things that were causing my anxiety. It is tough, sometimes, to just think about what gives you anxiety, In fact, that may even give you more anxiety lol. Blogging and journaling have been my go-to to figure out what is going on, what I have been doing to prevent it, and how I will take care of myself from here on out.

Writing down your fears and worries almost solidifies those things. It is easier to tackle to the problems when you see them directly. Also, journaling and blogging allow you to figure out that what is causing you problems really isn’t as scary as you think it is. For example, I was always nervous to order things at a restaurant or fast food joint. Literally, talking to the cashier gave me anxiety. I get it, it’s stupid, but it really isn’t. There are thousand, maybe millions of people afraid of the same thing. Writing it down was one of the best things I did because I realized how silly that was. I wrote down all of my fears about that particular anxious thought and how I will try and cope. I was able to work through a fear just by writing it down.

Where I will go From Here

I have found a little place in this world of blogging, my niche. And in so, I have found that my anxiety, my stress, my depression, have been reduced to levels I haven’t seen in years. I wish I could go back in time and just tell myself that it will be a long journey, but one where you find yourself, at least I have found 28 year old Ben. I may be a lot different in 5 years ;P.

Please Reach out and Trust The Process

If you are suffering from anxiety, depression, any form of mental health, I want to add one more coping mechanism to your toolbox, and of course that is blogging. It has helped me to express myself and openly to other people. There are so many people in the writing community that have been so supportive. Honestly, the blogging is a way to cope with my anxiety, but, you, the reader, have helped to significantly reduce my anxiety.

Final Thoughts

Blogging has helped so much with my mental health. I want to take this time to show my appreciation for the blogging community. Throughout this journey, I have really been able to rely heavily on the care and support of my fellow bloggers. We are a family. The guidance, inspiration, and support have benefitted me and my readers. Without your support, I would have given up a long time ago. Thank you so much, blogging community! I owe you more than you know.

If you are wondering more about the use of blogging and journaling as means of handling mental health, please reach out to me at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would love to tell you all of the benefits that come with this wonderful method. Also, if you just have questions related to college or grad school, I would absolutely love to discuss it further with you. I am here to help you guys through this journey. You don’t have to do it alone.

**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online-Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed. Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.