Hello everyone! It’s been a few weeks since I updated you on life events. Life has been really crazy these past few months, with moving, finishing my PhD, and starting a new job. I am in a place where I can blog again, so that is what I intend on doing. In fact, I think I really need to do it to help with my mental health. I have been feeling a bit down lately and I believe that it is due to post PhD depression.

What is post PhD depression?

This is honestly a really good question. I have read quite a few articles on this subject after I started feeling a bit down myself. Post PhD depression is a depression that occurs after you finish your doctorate because you really don’t know what comes next and you lowkey miss doing the work that you did for the last 4 to 8 years.

Basically, the end of your PhD is very anti-climatic. I literally defended my thesis, was congratulated, then I was….done. There was no parade, no crazy feeling of relief, just done. People in a PhD program spend on average 6 years to finish a PhD. That’s a massive chunk of time for it to all just end. And because of this, I think feelings of depression, hopelessness, anxiety, and every other mix of feeling hits you at once.

The first thing that really hit me was feeling anxious of my next step. Of course I knew what that was, moving. I did it all wrong and will definitely write a blog post on how you should end you’re PhD before you go to work full time. In fact, I literally defended my thesis, moved out of my apartment, moved into an apartment in Miami, and started a job, all within like 10 days. I did not take the time to enjoy my time away from work at all. This happened because of miscommunication previously that made things really complicated for me.

When I started feeling down.

For me, it was about a month after living in Miami that I knew something wasn’t quite right. I thought that it was still my job and the anxiety that came with starting something foreign, but there was something else that didn’t quite feel right. The things that I loved doing just didn’t appeal to me and I was thinking about if I made the right choice or not. I literally went from research, something I love, to consulting, something that is foreign to me. That may have amplified the feelings, but in the end, I think it was just post PhD depression.

The feelings are still here, even 2 months after I moved. IN fact, they are currently at the worst levels right now that I have felt. Luckily, I had therapy for a long time, so the coping mechanisms I learned are really helping out. I know I have a long journey with these feelings though. Fortunately, I know I can handle them.

What I do to reduce the depression

Sometimes you just need to step away from what you are doing and just relax. I have a hard time just sitting and not doing anything, but lately I have been forcing myself to relax, meditate, go on walks, anything to get my mind off negative thoughts. I have been cooking pretty healthy dinners at night as well as staying on top of my workouts. When I come home, I will often just sit for a bit and try and relax after work. The depression does come but it goes as well. Usually when I am exhausted from work, the depression really kicks up. In these cases, I sit with the feelings, acknowledge that they are there, then just let them pass. Sometimes they stay a bit longer than I want. In this case, I will go on a walk, maybe do some writing, or I will hit up the gym. Workouts really do help a ton.

I am also listening to a ton of YouTube videos on the way to work about stoicism, which has made me a little more hopefully and happier in life. Also, I listen to Ajahn Brahm on YouTube as well. I highly suggest checking out Buddhist talks on YouTube. They have helped me so much throughout my PhD. I also have a ton of posts on this in my blog. Here’s a link to those posts.

I’m still trying to figure this out

It truly is amazing how life really takes you on a crazy roller coaster of emotions. One week, you are feeling great, everything is amazing, and the next, you are miserable. The older I get, the more I understand that this is just how things are…for everyone! No one has a prefect life, and things will be hard for everyone. Understanding thins and being ready for it is the way to fully embrace life and come out on top. Right now, I am in a depression because a large chapter of my life has come to an end. But, when I think about this, I always remember the quote from Seneca (or “Closing time” by Semisonic) that goes “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”.

This major chapter has ended and a new, possibly better chapter is starting. The thing is, the transition between chapters comes with a terrible price, post PhD depression. Fortuneatly, it too will pass and I will be well on my way to what ever lies before me. I am still trying to navigate this portion of my life, but I think I will be able to soon.

Please reach out to me or someone that knows what you are going through

I hope I did not ramble on and you were able to understand what I am saying. Post PhD depression is really, and many people will experience it. If you are that person, please reach out to someone and get help. You can always email me at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would love to be able to help, give advice, or just be there as support. We don’t have to go through this alone.

I would also suggest trying out some therapy. I used Talkspace in the past but I think I may try something else, maybe something in person. Let me link to my experience with therapy that you are welcome to check out. Here is a link. I hope this helps.

Final Thoughts.

It feels great to get back in to blogging. In fact, it is one of the few hobbies that have actually stuck with me. I love writing, which is weird to say, but it is true. I wish I kept up blogging throughout the end of my doctorate, but oh well. It is time to continue on helping those in need and helping myself alone the way. I hope all of you have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next one. Peace!