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Today is going to be a slower day of work! Thank goodness for the holiday season because nothing gets done and that is totally fine. There are a few things that I need to do, but for the most part, I am going to relax, blog, maybe make some Pinterest pins, and go workout. I am currently working from home right now so I have extra company, my cat Sirius, but my cat won’t let me work. If you have read any of my blog, you know that he is a main component of my life. To give some background, my roommate was fostering him (I pretty much took over that job) and I fell in love with him and his brother. They were both the cutest kittens ever and I wanted them both but knew taking care of a cat was a huge responsibility. Luckily Sirius’ brother was adopted which made getting a cat way easier. I adopted him right away after seeing how unhappy he was at the adoption events at PetSmart.
Benefits of my cat
Anyway, Sirius has been a huge part of my life and my mental health and overall an amazing addition to my life. It is always great to come home and hear him meow really loudly because I am back. Definitely a wonderful cat, but he won’t let me work lol! I think all cat owners know of this problem. In times of remote working, our pets are really the ones benefiting from this. They are getting more attention than ever. For me, however, I spend most of my days in my office or my lab. This leave Sirius alone to roam the apartment.
I understand
I understand that he wants attention. It’s hilarious because he’s super shy unless I am on my computer, then he is right up in my face, hitting all of the keys and scratching at my monitor. It definitely makes it hard getting work done, but you know what, that’s good! It can be annoying when they walk into the camera view while you’re on a zoom call, but that’s hilarious. Sirius made an appearance on my qualifying presentation and it made one of my committee members laugh. It was hilarious.
Yes, I won’t get things done in an extremely quick manner, but that’s fine. I am enjoying my cat’s company, he’s having a good time, and we are bonding. It is well worth it.
Get them toys
But if you are having a hard time getting work done because of your cat, might I suggest investing in more cat toys! That has helped me a lot. When I was doing my qualifying exam and working from home for 2 weeks straight, I got Sirius a few toys to keep him busy. Luckily for cat owners, cat’s usually sleep during the day. Sirius was asleep for a decent amount of time but when he was up, he was playing with toys and not bothering me. If you are having trouble with your cat walking all over you ever second, I suggest getting them a few toys. This one specifically is Sirius’ favorite. I think it’s because of the catnip lol. I wrote about the different cat toys that you can get them here. Go check it out if you want ideas.
Final Thoughts
I know this was a bit of a random blog post, but sometimes you just need to write something random. Cat owners know that struggle of trying to work from home and having your cat just flop on you keyboard without warning. It’s cute and annoying but I am happy my cat does it. Plus, he keeps me from doing work which is always good and I enjoy life more. If you have a cat, let me know about them. If you have written about them, link to a blog post about them so we can all check it out.
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Today is December 29th, 2021. We have 2 more days of 2021 and we will be on to a brand new year, hopefully way better than the previous ones. First off, congratulations o getting through another year of Covid. We still have a ways to go but I truly hope that we are at the end of it. If you are getting ready to start grad school in the spring, I welcome you to one of the most exciting chapters of your life. If you are continuing with grad school, still, welcome! I hope you find this blog very helpful. Today I want to talk about a few habits that will be good to pick up this upcoming year and years to follow. I have written about the habits of highly successful grad students (here). I highly encourage you to read those if you are in grad school. Personally, I am going to try and solidify these into my life so things are a bit easier for me. This is my final 2-3 semesters of grad school, so finishing strong is a must.
Habits in grad school are extremely hard to create as well as break. Some really easy habits that grad students may make are sleeping in, not exercising, eating cheap food, blogging instead of writing their dissertation….(me). There are of course really good habits in grad school that you will naturally acquire such as using planners to remember things, taking public transportation instead of driving, and my favorite habit of all, coffee drinking (lol). You will create all types of habits and you may even try and break quite a few. The habits on this list are some that I feel will help me get through my last year and hopefully help you as well. So let’s talk about some habits in grad school that will make 2022 and on the best years of your life.
List of Habits in Grad School
1) Take more breaks.
Have a trigger that causes you to take breaks, especially in very stressful times. When you are on a time crunch, taking breaks seems like it;s counter intuitive. You want to get the work done and don’t have time to relax. Don’t listen to your brain. Make sure to take a break every 45 minutes or so. You will be able to stay more energetic to finish the job. Trust me, I started taking breaks after about 30 minutes of work and my productivity increased a ton. Here is an article about the benefits of taking breaks. Check it out here.
2) Drink More Water
I am going to drink a lot more water. One thing, you need water to survive (duh). “Research has demonstrated that lack of water to the brain can impair short-term memory function and the recall of long-term memory, as well as cause a variety of symptoms such as brain fog, exhaustion, headaches, sleep issues, stress, anger, and depression. Amongst its many health benefits, water helps with digestion and circulation, as well as helps with the transportation and absorption of nutrients, and helps to limit changes in body temperature in a warm or a cold environment. Drinking water can improve one’s brain health by simply increasing blood flow and oxygen to the brain – which, in turn, improves concentration and cognition (supporting memory function) and helps balance moods and emotions, reducing stress and headaches.”-Women’s Brain Health Initiative. My blog is all about ways to help stay focused, motivated, and of course, reduce mental health issues.
Drinking water can help solve or at least help to resolve those problems. Also, drinking water when you first wake up helps you wake up faster. You are probably pretty dehydrated when you wake up, so grab a glass of cold water to rehydrate yourself and get a bit more energy.
3) Complain Less
Do you find yourself complaining about a ton of stuff? I know I complain more than I wish, and I am trying to create a habit of thinking of positive things instead of the negative. Grad school can be full of negative things, but I guarantee there are far more positive things to think about. It really isn’t all that bad, but our brain can focus on the negatives so much that it seems that bad. One way to create this habit is to write down things that you are grateful for each day. Focus on what things you were grateful for during that specific day as well. Also, tell yourself a few good things that happened that day, even if they were very small. At first, you may struggle to find good things, but naturally, you’ll start to find it easier to see everything good that happened. Trust me, it works if you try.
4) Take Lunches Outside
I have developed this nasty habit of eating lunch at my desk. Every day, I make my lunch, plop down in front of my computer and eat while watching YouTube videos. I truly believe that separating yourself from your work or just your computer during lunch will make your life a bit better. One thing that happens is you eat slower and recognize how much food you actually have eaten. The key word here is mindfulness lol. I have a bad habit of eating quickly and watching videos at my desk doesn’t help. Also, I think just removing yourself completely from your desk is good for your mental health. I’ll have to research that and provide some manuscripts for you guys to read.
5) Writing at Least 500 Words a Day
I want to emphasize how important this habit is in grad school. I have been in grad school for 5 years now and the best thing that you can do is write every single day. This is such an important skill to acquire. I have even written quite a lot about it. (link here). This is a habit that I am close to making part of me. This blog helps a ton and I have found that days just aren’t really complete unless I write something. It has also made the thesis writing portion of my doctorate a piece of cake. Writing has been extremely beneficial and I am glad I started really focusing on it the past year. This will be on the top of my list for this upcoming year.
Final Thought
I know these are only 5 habits but I think these are definitely the most important ones that you need to pick up this upcoming year. Seriously, do it lol. What habits are you hoping or GOING to gain in the upcoming year or what habits do you thing need to be added to this list? Please let me know in the comments. I would greatly appreciate it! As always, thank you so much for reading my blog. I can’t stress enough how amazing it is to actually have people read what I write! You guys and gals make writing fun and enjoyable. I am truly appreciative of you all.
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Life is one crazy ride. Think about it. You literally wake up on a planet, hurling through the universe at extremum speeds. You wake up to sunshine, water, animals, television, and literally an infinite amount of other crazy things that have yet to be discovered. On top of that, you are able to interact with everything and actually manipulate your surroundings. That’s some really crazy stuff right here if you sit down to think about it. Life, itself, is a gift that we often take full advantage of, and that is pretty sad. Many people wake up and just think that all there is is work, sadness, hopelessness, and depression. I feel so much for these individuals because life is way more than that. It is the opportunity to explore the world, to express yourself, to learn, and most importantly, to love. It is an opportunity to make life one big adventure.
My life adventure
Recently, I was able to explore all four of those mentioned above. I went on an amazing journey back to California, which you can read about here. My girlfriend and I decided to make our own adventure and do some fun activities while in Cali. These included visiting my hometown, getting lost in Los Angeles, hanging out at as many piers along the coast as possible, and lastly, surviving the harsh conditions of DEATH VALLEY! Today, I wanted to share with you some of the pictures from the trip. The trip itself was not as planned out as most people would like, and I think that’s why it was so fun. We pretty much just winged it and created our own adventure.
Death Valley
So, if you have never been to Death Valley, or have even heard of it, it is the hottest, driest, and lowest place in North America. The temperatures in the summer get up to like 120 degrees Fahrenheit. From a quick google search, I can see the highest ever air temperature recording came from there at a whopping 134 degrees! Holy Cow! Well, we went in the winter which was way better since the high for the day was 55 degrees. That part may have been planned out by us lol. But pretty much, Death Valley is just one giant desert with a ton of different areas that you can visit. It is not just one big plain heat sink. No! There are sand dunes, salt marsh area things, hills that have 20 different colors, mines that were used for borax extraction, and a whole bunch of other places to see. It was so cool!
Picture Time!
I would like to share some of the pictures with you. My camera really didn’t capture the true majesty of the area. When I say breath taking, I mean it!
It’s funny because the pictures really make it look like it was extremely hot that day when in fact I was freezing. Anything below 65 degrees is super cold to me so I was especially cold when the temperature in the morning was 45 degrees. Yes, I know, it’s not that cold. But it is when you have lived in Florida for most of your life lol.
Final Thought
Making life an adventure really makes living so much more enjoyable. Living for the moments is a great was to live and I highly encourage you to make life your greatest adventure. I have become a much better person because I have realized that life is more than a career. It is so much more than working each day for 2 weeks of vacation time. So, I encourage you to try something new, go places you’ve never been, and write the next chapter of your life. That’s what I am doing. Also, if you are thinking about heading to Death Valley any time soon, check out this blog about going (link here). It has all you need to prepare yourself for some amazing adventures.
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How to enjoy life and grad school? Sounds like a pretty difficult concept to write about lol. I have been thinking alot about my life and where it is going next. I have also come to the conclusion that I do indeed enjoy grad school and I am starting to enjoy my life as well. It took a very long time, but I think I have found a few ways to get the most out of the cards I am given in life. My enjoyment does not come from the goals or the money I will make. Heck it doesn’t necessarily come from any materialistic thing. No, it comes from a mindset that has taken me a couple years to finally get to. I want to share some of the ways that help me find enjoyment even when things are bad.
So, like all my really amazing posts before this one, I would like to do a list of the things in my life that have helped to make the past 4.5 years pretty good. I think these things are definitely excellent ways to increase your happiness and overall mental state while in grad school. See, grad school is a pretty long, mostly boring, journey that we must take to do research in academia. You will go through many emotions, especially towards the end f it where you are questioning your time and effort into doing grad school. First off, it’s worth it. Getting an advanced degree is totally worth every penny but you many not see that now. So lets get into some ways to enjoy your life and grad school.
1) Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others, especially those not in grad school.
This is huge because you will have friends that will advance very quickly at work and make a ton of money. You will be stuck in this limbo state where you are making little advances and even less money. Do not compare yourself to their achievements, instead, congratulate them and be happy for them. You may be very jealous of their advances but they may be extremely jealous of your achievements and how you decided to get an advanced degree. I have met countless individuals that have told me that what I do makes them slightly jealous even though they make tons of money and have really fancy things. The grass is greener where you water it for sure.
2) Get outside as much as possible, especially when it’s sunny.
My office does not have windows. In fact, it wasn’t even an office originally, but a storage fridge for chemicals. That means that I could spend a whole day there and not even see the sun or another person. You can see why it’s imperative that I focus on my mental health, because if I don’t, I will be in a bad situation. One of the best things that I do, daily, is walk to campus. For 1 hour a day, I am outside and doing some light exercise. I truly think this has helped me enjoy things more. During the walk, I get to experience a ton of really cool things that I wouldn’t if I rode the bus such as the cool breeze of the morning, the sounds, the smells, and most important, the peace. Getting outside and enjoying the free things in life have made my 4.5 years way more enjoyable.
3) Meditation
Yeah, I know, I have written about this countless times. But, it’s something that has helped me significantly. My head, like many others, is a bee hive of thoughts and useless information. It is almost impossible for me to remember anything unless I have a way to calm my brain and extract that info. Meditation has allowed for that to happen. I also suffer from anxiety, which has caused a ton of hardships throughout these years. Meditation has been a key component in reducing those feelings and actually giving me the confidence to overcome the residual anxious feelings that I have towards things. You cannot enjoy life if you are in constant fear of things and worry about things that will or will not happen. Spoiler alert* The things you worry about happening will probably never happen, ever. If you want to learn how to meditate or want to read more about how meditation has helped me, here are a few links to my blog posts (how to meditate here, everything else here).
4) Get a pet or a ton of plants
Taking care of a pet or plants can be a bit difficult but sooooooo worth it. When you are in grad school, you spend a ton of time alone unfortunately so coming home to a pet that is super happy to see you makes your day so much better. Plants are great if you don’t have the time or resources to take care of a pet. Just the act of keeping something alive can really help your mental state as well. Also, plants just make you happy. I love having plants in my apartment because they really make everything look pretty. I also love the whole “nature” look that comes with having them. Here’s an article on how plants make you happy. I think a nice combination of both plants and animals has helped a ton.
5) Surround yourself with good people
One of the hardest things to do is to end a relationship with someone because they are toxic or really don’t bring happiness to your life. I have been here. Having to let someone go out of your life is hard but it has made, at least my life, better. If you have to let someone go because of toxicity, then it is totally justified. Once that is over, surround yourself with non toxic individuals. I have surrounded myself with very uplifting and supportive individuals and I truly believe that has helped me enjoy my life as well as grad school more. You will meet all types of people in grad school so you can almost pick and choose who you want to bring into your weird little world. If you are just starting, try and make friends with supportive individuals and you will see that grad school is not nearly as bad as what you have read on reddit.
Final thoughts
Most importantly, have fun while in school and, well, life. You get one chance to make this the best experience ever so being miserable shouldn’t even be an option. What I have shared today has helped get me out of some really tough mental states. I am such a different person than what I was a few years ago. You can definitely have an amazing life adventure if you take the time to truly enjoy the simple things. Happy Saturday everyone. I will see you in the next post.
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Happy Holidays everyone! Today, my family is celebrating Christmas together and we are starting with a large breakfast, followed by presents (of course)! My girlfriend’s father has covid so I won’t be seeing them today. In fact, a few people I know have covid today and will not be see their families because of it. It is quite sad but it happens.
Holidays are Hard
I want toe write a short blog emphasizing to check in with people that might be alone this holiday season. This doesn’t just mean friends or family, this includes those individuals that might be in your lab or building (if you are a grad student) who really don’t have a place to go. I know for a fact that like 80% of the grad students in my department are international students. Since flights are getting canceled and regulations are in place, they may not get to see their families this season. Heck, they may not have been back in years to see them. That makes this time especially hard for them.
If you are alone
Being alone is pretty difficult during this time. You tend to see everyone with their families, happy, and that just makes things worse. If you know someone who is alone this season, reach out to them. If you are alone this season, maybe reach out to the other people that are alone and have a get together or a party with everyone. Spread kindness and happiness because this unfortunately can e a very depressing time of the year.
I am fortunate enough to have many places to go this winter and I am beyond grateful for that but I do feel for those that don’t. I have reached out to a few people and they seem to be ok being alone but they did appreciate that someone was thinking of them. Even doing something like this is a huge deal. Feeling that someone cares can really help and I encourage you to do this. For those in grad school, you know how difficult it is being alone most days or weeks. You know the feeling of isolation so I encourage you to make sure others don’t feel this way. It is a season for joy, so let’s spread it (but let’s not spread covid).
Final Thoughts
I want to wish you a very happy holidays! We have been through so much and we need to realize that this year will be hard, but we don’t need to make it hard. Look for the “honey”. Find the good in all of this madness and let’s spread that joy. We are better individuals and we will thrive but we need to help ourselves and others to get to that point. So, please, spread kindness and joy this season and check in with your friends. Also, call your mother please. Happy Holidays-Bean.
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I want to apologize to you guys for not posting the past week. I went on vacation and didn’t really have the time to update everyone on my travels. There was a ton of stuff that I did on my trip and will have multiple posts about it. I also have a ton of really great pictures from my travels that I would like to share with all of you!
Cali Trip and Travels
My girlfriend and I decided to take a very last minute (bought the tickets 2 days prior to leaving) trip to go to California. I am originally from Cali, but haven’t been back since I left 19 years ago, so I was a bit excited and somewhat nervous. The reason I was nervous was because I didn’t really know how I was going to emotionally take the trip. I mean, I am going back to where I was born and I had a ton of very great memories there. Because I am so adamant on doing things that scare me, I said ” let’s go!” It was worth it.
The Emotions of Going Back
There were definitely some crazy emotions when I visited my home town and the adjacent cities around Los Angeles. It was a crazy amount of memories that came flooding back and most of them were really good. Some sad, but that’s life, I suppose. Being back in Cali was amazing and I will definitely go back, but visiting my old stomping grounds will probably have to wait for a few more years. If I were to move to California, I’d definitely either go north Cali, or maybe San Diego ways, just to see something new.
Grad School
This brings us to the main subject, visiting the past but not lingering. See, I made a mistake in grad school and that was coming back to the school I did my undergrad in. After 2 years away from it, I was coming back to a school that held very difficult times as well and extremely joyous times. When you come back to something like that after many years, you will have a ton of memories pop back up. It is totally fine to think about them, but please do not get caught up in those memories. And please don’t compare your time in the past to your present time.
Many times I get caught up comparing how amazing my undergrad years were and how I wish I was still in undergrad. This mindset brings a ton of pain with it since you will be constantly living in the past. I understand that things change, and you probably don’t want that. Gainesville has changed so much that the town is almost unrecognizable. But accepting the change and embracing the change is how you get away from the pain of living in the past.
Cali Travels and Emotions
This is how I felt when I went back to Cali. I remember so much from childhood and it was great to see my hometown, but I tried to not fall in love with the past and get upset seeing that things have changed. I went back and visited the past, but I did not stay there. It was nice to relive some of the memories I had though such as baseball, going to restaurants, seeing the surfers, and seeing my old school.
Final Thoughts
In the end, I had an amazing trip down memory lane and I am happy that I visited. California is such an amazing state and I truly missed it. I also missed In-N-Out. Their milkshakes are amazing, if you’ve never gone. As I said, I have a ton to write about and will try and write tomorrow. The pictures that I got of Death Valley are awesome and I am excited to share those with you guys. And because I was talking about not lingering, I want to add a video of lingering lol.
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I sat down at my desk this morning, ready to write a very thought provoking article. I had caffeine, I made sure good music was on, and opened up my blog page. Nothing popped in my head. I usually spend the 1.5 mile walk to my office to think of things that I can blog about. Today was different. In fact, the only thing on my mind this morning was my very long drive down to Miami today. My girlfriend and I are going to California tomorrow morning, so I have to leave Gainesville after my experiments and drive to Miami. For some reason, flying from Miami is a decent amount cheaper than Orlando. Anyway, I do not have a crazy insightful post today, unfortunately. Todays post will be about how you should write for the fun of it.
Just write for the fun of it
Today, I just want to talk about how writing doesn’t have to have a purpose. I feel like many people are turned off because they were forced to write poetry or essays in school. When you are forced to write, it takes the fun out of it. I started writing this blog as a helpful tool for grad students. I think it is helpful, maybe not, I don’t know, but I found that writing has turned into a bit of a hobby for me. Writing has become fun!
Why is it fun?
One reason that I think it has become fun is because of a small dopamine hit that I get each time I write a blog post. That comes in the form of likes or comments. So, I want to thank all of you for at least getting me started. After a while of doing this, the likes and comments didn’t really persuade me to blog, it was purely out of the love for writing. Blogging became extremely fun for me.
Just do it for the fun of it!
If you are someone who struggles with writing or English language in general (my English grades show I was baddddddd), then I think just taking up blogging our journaling as a pastime is an excellent way to get into writing. With journaling, you do not have to write for an audience. This is good if you really are struggling and just want to get a ton of practice in before going into the world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Blogging, on the other hand, introduces you to a world of writers that will help you acquire writing skills as you go. I jumped head first into this one and man have I learned a lot.
Final Thoughts
In the end, just have fun with it. Life is too short to really care what others think. People may tell you that your writing is terrible. I don’t see that person writing for an audience, though. Also, writing for the fun of it is just, well, FUN! You can just write gibberish, but as long as you are having fun, that’s all that matters. So for those that are starting their writing journey, go for it! Don’t aim for perfection, aim for having a fun time and learning as you go. People will love what you write and you will gain so much from it. I know that for a fact.
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There are a few things in a grad students life that really affect them. The approval of their adviser,. finishing their research, having enough food to eat, and lastly, feeling like they belong and good enough, are all very really things that dig into a grad student’s soul. For the most part, we can handle these things, but sooner or later, we are more than likely going to have to tackle one of the hardest things in grad school, IMPOSTER SYNDROME!!!!
What is it?
So, imposter syndrome is the feeling of self doubt. You tend to feel that you are not good enough and that you do not belong. This feeling is heightened in grad school because you are surrounded by individuals from all over the globe, who went to really prestigious schools. On top of that, you may meet professors with curriculums vitaes the length of CVS receipts. No wonder there is a feeling of self doubt. Plus, it’s even worse the first couple of years because you are still comparing yourself to your peers. Please, please, please don’t do this.
Types of Imposter Syndrome
Superhero: So this person completely overworks themselves to try and show that they are not inadequate
Natural Genius: This individual sets extremely high goals and feels crushed if they do not meet them.
Expert: This one isn’t too bad. It’s an individual that is never satisfied with their level of understanding and are always trying to learn more.
Perfectionist: Self explanatory. This individual is not happy with their work and focuses on flaws instead of strengths.
Soloist: This individual works alone and never asks for help because of fear that others will say they are weak or incompetent.
If you have read any of my blog posts or literally just have gone to school and met grad students, you can see that grad school is definitely a place where all of these people exist. I have experienced every one of these the first year of grad school, heck, the first year of undergrad. I have also found out that professors experience these feelings just as much as grad students do.
Ways to Cope with Imposter Syndrome in Grad School
If you are just starting grad school and are afraid of imposter syndrome or if you are in grad school and dealing with it currently, there are a few ways to combat it. Let me share with you some ways that I have found extremely helpful to combat imposter syndrome in grad school.
1) Talk with others about your feelings.
This is a great way of letting other’s know that you truly care about your mental health and it opens the floor up to them telling you about their feelings. More than likely, your other classmates and lab mates are experiencing the same feelings you are. This is a great thing to talk to them about because you might help them feel less terrible too.
2) Talk with a therapist.
This helped me a ton. I used talkspace because it was covered in my insurance. My therapist helped me realize that my thoughts were not necessarily telling me the truth and I did belong in grad school. This boosted my confidence greatly. Talking to a therapist is the best thing I have done. You can read more about it in my blog (here).
3) Stop comparing yourself to others
This one might be hard to do and you have definitely heard it before. There is truth in it, though. As humans, we tend to only look at the highlights of other individuals. We also love to share our highlights too *cough cough Instagram*. Of course this would make us compare ourselves to others. I have heard countless times how someone thinks their life is bad because they aren’t on a crazy adventure somewhere or they are still in school while everyone else is at a job, making real money. It took me years to finally cut the habit of comparing my life to other’s. I had to to reduce my imposter syndrome. Everyone goes through struggles and everyone’s life is different.
You may meet some of the most successful and brightest people in academia, while in school. I guarantee their lives are not as amazing as you see it. They have also worked countless hours to get where they are. You will get to that point eventually, but it will take time. If you compare yourself to other people’s highlight reels, you’ll always feel inadequate.
4) Question your thoughts
This was covered in my blog about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). I didn’t cover it in too much detail (potential blog post?). Anyway, one of the best things that I learned in therapy was to question my thoughts. When I start thinking that I am not good enough to be in grad school, I ask myself why I feel that way as well as is it justified. Am I actually a fraud or do I just feel like one at the moment? Does my adviser really think I am a terrible student or am I just frustrated right now and a bit overwhelmed? Question your feelings every time you have something come up that is negative. You will quickly realize that you mind likes to exaggerate things.
5) Aim for Done, Not Perfect
This was one of the single best pieces of advice that I ever got. I think it was from R3ciprocity, but I am not sure. Either way, go check out that channel on YouTube. It’s worth it. Anyway, go for done, not perfect. This is what I do with my writing. If you aim to be a perfect writer, you will never finish. Yes, you want to give your best, but do not obsess over one sentence or paragraph. In fact, just write out whatever pops in your head and just get it on paper. Then you can edit later.
This is the same with everything you do. Aim to get it complete and not perfect. First, you will get comfortable with the thought of not being perfect, and second, you will actually be moving in the right direction with your studies. You will develop skills along the way that wil hone your skills and perfection will naturally come. It may take a while, but it will happen.
Social media, especially twitter, can be terrible when it comes to having imposter syndrome. One of the things that people tend to do when starting grad school is get a twitter and add every person with a PhD. This seems like a good idea until you spend hours reading about all of the amazing things that they have done and the projects that they have completed. Then you start comparing yourself to them. This can cause a ton of anxiety and feelings of self doubt. I am not saying to not follow these people, but just do it sparingly. If it is affecting your mental state, please, please, please just delete it. Your mental health is way more important than twitter.
Final Thoughts
Remember that you are not alone. You are an amazing individual that DOES deserve the recognition and praise for all you have done. Imposter syndrome does not have to affect you. you can combat it and thrive in a place where it is so common. I promise you, if you are experiencing imposter syndrome in grad school, it is only temporary and will go away. That is if you do something about it, and I know you will. If you have any questions about grad school imposter syndrome or just want to say hello, email me at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I’d be happy to share more insight with you.
**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online–Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed.Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.
Some More Stuff on Imposter Syndrome in Grad School
I want to add some additional resources that you can use if you are experinecing imposter syndrome in grad school. Below are some links that I think are super helpful.
This post about traveling in grad school contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page
COVID 19 will end one day and it will be ok to travel. I guarantee this. Until then, traveling in grad school right now may not be the best idea, especially if you are not vaccinated. If you are like me, you are feeling the travel bug, bad. Every year since I graduated undergrad has had at least one trip to another country or multiple countries, so I am ready to get back out there. I know for a fact that I am not alone. My girlfriend seems to spend more time on Skyscanner, looking for cheap flights everywhere than she does on work lately lol. I am pretty much the same way right now, so it’s ok.
Traveling in grad school can be quite the experience. First off, you are pretty much limited to travelling places you can afford currently. You might be able to buy that plane ticket to Australia, but I know for a fact you’ll be staying at a hostel lol. Don’t worry, hostels are extremely fun places to stay and you get to meet some amazing people there. I wanted to take this time this morning to share a few places that I thin are really great to visit in grad school. These are all places that I have personally been. I have only been to 7 other countries, and have a ton more to get to. But, I have been to some fairly cool places. So, grab your passport and let’s get into it.
Places to go: Traveling in Grad School
1) Canada-Anywhere
Canada is one of my all-time favorite countries. The people are extremely nice, the food is amazing (and cheap), and best of all, they speak English! I have been to Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal, and Quebec City. Out of those four, Montreal is my favorite. If you are able to make a trip over the border, go for it. Each town that I spent time in had so much to do and it was really cheap. I mean, the flights from Orlando to Toronto are like $150 right now so it may be good to go there right now. Below is a picture of an alley way in Quebec City. If you like climbing stairs, I highly suggest visiting here lol
Quebec City
2)Ireland-Dublin
Dublin reminded me of Pennsylvania so much. I was fortunate enough to go during New Years and actually celebrate New Years Eve in The Brazen Head, which is the oldest pub in Ireland. So, that was cool. The town is super fun to explore and the people are some of the nicest. Hostels can be a bit expensive here though, so be ready for that. The flights are not too expensive to get there. I think honestly, travelling to Dublin is the cheapest to get over to Europe, so it’s a good place to travel. Also, you’ll love Ireland, especially if you love the color green. Everything there is green lol.
3) Luxemburg-Luxemburg City
If you have the chance, go to Luxemburg City. This is, by far, my favorite location that i have ever visited. It is a combination of Germany and France. I can’t really say that since I haven’t been to either of those countries, but my girlfriend has and said that it’s pretty much that. The city is straight out of a post card. Let me add one of the photos I took while there.
The city is surrounded by a giant wall as well. It was really cool to just walk around the city, take in all of the sites, and truly just be a peace there. I loved the food as well and loved the pastries especially. French pastries are the best. The hostel that we stayed at was extremely cheap and right down the street from where I took this picture. I highly suggest making a trip here. It is a good 1 to 2 day place to visit.
4) USA-New York City
If you want to experience some of the craziest people, the best food, and possibly see a celebrity walking there dog, New York is where to go. I have only been twice, but have experienced quite a few things in the like 5 or 6 days that I spent there. You may have to save a bit of money for a hotel or try and find a friend that lives up there to stay with but it is so worth it. Once you get there, just walk around the city. Take in all of the sites, sounds, and smells (the good smells hopefully). Grab some pizza and make sure to get a bunch of bagels. Please send me some bagels too.
Here is a picture of me in Times Square. This was also the face I had literally every where that I went in New York. If you are a grad student, put this at the top of your list on travel locations. Maybe apply for some conferences up there. Just make sure to bring back bagels for me. Seriously. In fact, if you want to send me bagels, I will personally give you my address to send them lol I love NY bagels.
5) China
I am going to end this list with what started my travels. China was the very first country that i travelled to and it was a gift to myself for graduating engineering school. My girlfriend was going to visit her sister there and asked if I wanted to join. I was hesitant course, but eventually agreed. If you want to feel truly alive, I suggest going to a place outside of your comfort zone, such as China, and immersing yourself in everything there is. This trip was by far, the best trip that I had ever been on. While there, we climbed the great wall of China.
We saw the Terra Cota soldiers
And, we were able to freeze our butt’s off at Shanghai Disney
I was there for a month prior to having to come back to start a new job :(. It was an amazing adventure that I hope to go on again some day. If you want to travel here, you will have to get a visa, so keep that in mind. It can take a very long time to get one too.
Why take a trip?
Grad school is all about growing as an individual and becoming a professional. Traveling in grad school is one of the best ways to grow as a person and get out of your comfort zone. It is also amazing to be able to explore places during your short time on earth. Take the time to just wonder and not worry about life’s problems. Go to places that few people have seen and go explore what life has to offer. The problem is getting started. So, I was completely fine with just doing my thing in the USA and maybe travelling as far as the Keys. Going to China made me realize just how much there is out there to explore. I mean, there’s sooooooo much to explore in this world and really not enough time to explore it all. When you are in grad school, you will have opportunities to go and explore these places. Yes, it will make you poor, but the experience is worth more than any amount of money. Trust me, it’s better to be poor and travel than save money and stay where you are.
Final Thoughts on Traveling in Grad School
Traveling in grad school, well just in general, is the best thing that I have ever done. I have become such a different person. There is so much in this world to explore and experience that it’s almost insulting not to go and experience it. I highly suggest taking a trip as soon as you can. Life is more than work, I promise you that. In fact, a trip somewhere else may make you leave that work life and possibly become a travelling blogger. How cool would that be? In the end, start small and branch out. Explore life because you only get this one chance to. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy the pictures.
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When I make long drives, I tend to listen to quite a few things on YouTube. Music, scary stories, and my favorite, Buddhist talks from the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. I am not a Buddhist but I enjoy listening to the teachings of Buddhism. Many of my posts actually bring up the teachings that are part of the religion. Any way, I was listening to Ajahn Brahmali talk about compassion today and I felt like it was a good thing to bring up, especially this time of year. At the end of this post is the video I was listening to.
Everyone is suffering
Everyone is going through some form of suffering. Some have it a lot worse than others, but we are all going through battles that can be tough. For me, I am very fortunate to be able to go home to my family. Many people aren’t so lucky and will be spending the holidays by themselves. We need to show other’s compassion because life is very hard for everyone. You may look at someone and say, “They have everything. What suffering do they have?” Little do you know that that individual maybe suffering from depression or emotional trauma.
Be best
I know quite a few individuals that look like they have everything right in their lives, yet they feel anxious all of the time or are really hurting emotionally. This is why showing compassion for everyone is so essential. Think about it, the people that have really been hurt, or who have gone through a tough situation in their lives usually are some of the kindest people. They could totally be complete jerks and bitter, but they aren’t. They try and help other’s because they do not want anyone else to go through what they have gone through.
Be the good you want to see in the world
I personally try and help as many people as I possibly can to overcome the hardships of grad school. Yes, I have had it a bit rough here and there but not nearly as bad as other’s. I am very fortunate to have the experience that I have had but that does not make me not want to help other’s. Grad students, especially the older ones, really need to show some compassion for the younger ones. You have gone through a tough transition and helping other’s will make the department and the world a little bit better. Just because you had it bad doesn’t mean that the rest of the students should have it bad too.
The Holidays
For those celebrating the holidays, spread kindness and compassion. Listen to what people have to say and don’t try and one up them with your own problems. Give hugs when possible and show love. If someone is really having a hard time in life, offer them support. Send them a post card or text saying that you are thinking about them. Heck, just take them out to lunch one day and try and distract them from what they are going through. Literally one hour away from pain is worth the world.
Final Thoughts
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday. I am heading to Orlando this weekend for birthday celebrations. Try and show some kindness and compassion this weekend. Call up a friend or talk to quiet person in your office. Bring in cookies for the office or, better yet, volunteer your time somewhere. Let’s make this crazy life a bit better. Thank you all for reading.
This post may contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page
I’ve written about whether or not I think grad school is hard. You can read that here, if you like. The overall answer to whether grad school is hard or not is “it depends”. For some people, this may be the easiest thing they have done. For other’s, not so much. It really depends on a ton of factors. For me, I find grad school pretty difficult, but not the hardest thing that I have done. Today, I want to do one of my new favorite things. Instead of a list, like usual, I am creating tables now! I think tables are way better anyway. So today will be about the easy and hard things about grad school.
I feel like it is a really good thing to know both ends, especially if you are about to start a grad program or you are just beginning. Things can get difficult really quickly if you are not prepared. This can actually be one of the more difficult things that you experience in grad school, but it can be better if you come prepared. Hopefully I hit a ton of topics on the difficult and easy things about a grad program. This list will be based on my observations of being in a grad program for 4.5 year. Holy cow, have I been a grad student that long?
Table 1. Well, is grad school hard or easy?
The table is self explanatory. To the left will be all the things that I find easy about grad school and to the right will be all that I find difficult. I would love some input from my readers. What did you find easy and hard while you were in grad school. Heck, what do you find easy and difficult while you work full time? Let me know in the comments.
Easy
Difficult
Classes. Hear me out. For some reason, the classes in my grad program are pretty easy. There is alot of work but I have a much higher GPA now than in undergrad.
You will probably be the poorest you will ever be. This is very difficult especially if you have a spouse or a family that relies on you.
Making acquaintances. Friends are a bit different but you will have a ton of acquaintances. It’s good to even have these so you can talk to someone.
Your mental health will be strained. I find balancing my sanity very difficult some days because of all the uncertainty that comes with grad school.
Waking up early. I feel that this has become way easier now since I don’t party at night
It takes forever to finish. You may even go much longer due to unforeseen circumstances (*cough cough* COVID). It’s a long time and a longggg journey
Getting plenty of sleep. You can only work so long. Grad school is a marathon and you need plenty of rest.
You may not make many friends and you may even lose quite a few.
Seeing family. This is easy for me, not so much with other’s. This will also be on the difficult side.
Seeing family if you live far away from them. It’s actually really sad seeing some of the international students coming into the office during breaks because they can’t go home to their families. Also, why am I in the office during breaks with them???
Getting the help you need for your mental health. Many times colleges pay for therapy services such as talkspace.com or online-therapy.com
Writing your thesis, and manuscripts, and presentation articles, and well just writing.
Getting help with your class work. It seems like professors give special care to grad students more than undergrads. They may treat you somewhat better in most cases and be nicer. Take advantage of this
Seeing your other friends or collages getting high paying jobs and “living their best lives”. I have friends making far more money and working much less than me. It’s hard to see this happening while I continue my pursuit of academic excellence.
Overall
Grad school, especially a doctorate, can have very easy and very difficult moments. You need to understand that this journey will test you in a whole bunch of ways and you will come out a totally different individual. I know I have changed so much since I have started and I still have a ways to go. Grad school, essentially, is as hard or easy as you make it. You can make it extremely difficult by being just a bad student. Bad student’s aren’t teachable and they think they know everything. Don’t be this person. You can also make it easy by getting the help you need, creating good habits, and practicing mindfulness. Understand that this journey will not be the easiest but you will make the best of it.
Anyway, I hope you wonderful people have an awesome day. I am going to get ready for office work today. It’s getting close to winter break so things are slowing way down. Also, the undergrads are leaving which means the gym is finally not packed. I think I’ll get a workout in today, sometime.
This post about who cares about what they think may contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page
Why does it always take a lifetime for the weekend to come, and then when it does, it’s gone in the blink of an eye? Seriously, someone needs to develop a mechanism to slow time so weekends last way longer than they do. This weekend came and went, but I was able to get a lot of nothing done. Just the way I like it! I was at my parent’s house because I wanted to see my relatives coming into town and hang with my brother. My brother is about to be a father so everyone was coming in for his girlfriend’s baby shower. Everything went well and I think all the attendees had a great time. Because of the “no boys allowed” policy, I took my dad and brother fishing.
Anyway, back to the post. The short weekend had a lot of down time which really got me thinking about life and such. This is a fairly new thing that has happened in the last few years. I think I am finally getting out of the stage of life where I really care what other’s thought of me and now I am focused on finding happiness with myself. So, I want to share some insight with the young grad students that I think will be helpful along your journey into a academic career.
No one cares
One of the things that kind of bothered me, but I came to terms with it was that no one cares. Well, let me rephrase that, no one cares as much as you do. You are going to put a great amount of effort into doing grad school, passing classes, losing 10 pounds from stress, stuff like that. People will not celebrate as much as you will when you accomplish things and it may hurt. They just haven’t put as much effort into it as you have and don’t know the struggles. Do not be upset if they don’t celebrate your small wins. They are currently going through their own battles. This is definitely something you will experience as a grad student.
People will tell you that you can’t do it. Don’t listen to them.
I know many people (other grad students), myself included, that get criticized for what they do. People, some very close to me, make fun of because I have a blog and spend a good amount of time trying to make it worth reading. People may not understand why you are doing something, and they may make fun of you or tell you that it isn’t worth doing. Don’t listen to them. If you are passionate about something, or just want something to do, go for it. Create a blog about spearfishing, though you’re afraid of water. Start a YouTube channel about art history, though you are an engineer. Do something that will bring some form of happiness and don’t let other’s discourage you. I see so many other grad students stopping their passions. Please don’t do this because someone didn’t understand it.
Some people will never understand
Some people will never understand why you study European history from 1867-1868. They will never understand why you love researching squirrels in Ethiopia (if there are any) or why you wrote a whole research paper on the solubility of lead in drinking water. Who the heck cares what they think! If you love what you do, that is all the really matters at the end of the day. Some people go their whole lives taking into consideration what other people think about what they do. That is not what living is about. Find what you love and do that.
Do what you Love
Whatever you love doing, keep doing it. There will always be people in your life that just won’t understand why you are doing things. Recently, I was caught off guard because an employer asked my why I was getting a PhD in engineering when it really wouldn’t make a difference. I was taken aback by this comments. What I really wanted to say was “the reason I am doing my PhD is to not get stuck in a position like the one you are offering”. I held my tongue. I love doing research and I love engineering. Why can’t I get a doctorate in engineering?
What I really am trying to say is do what you love and you will find your path. People may tell you that what you do is dumb, but one day, you might make millions because you are doing what you are passionate about. Also, who the *&^# cares what other people think? They are just jealous that you found something that truly makes you happy and they haven’t. So please, don’t care what they think.
Final Thought
I really like to blog. I love how there are a whole bunch of people, all over the world, that read what I write. Heck, some people even message me and tell me what to write about next or to tell me that they love my content. This is why I do this. I want to make a small contribution to the world. Do I care about the people telling me that “this is a phase” and “you need to focus on something else. Blogging get’s you nowhere”? No, I do not. I laugh, say thanks for your input and I continue on with my blogging. I hope you can just say “thank you” and continue your passions. It is how you will find happiness. I hope you all have an amazing day doing what you love. I know I will.
**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online–Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed.Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.
This post may contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page
Today, I feel pretty terrible. I did this to myself, though, and before you ask, it’s not Covid. I will explain. This whole week I have been dedicating myself to all that is fitness. I am trying to keep up with my walking challenge. Personal training at the stadiums is going on too. And, I have been getting on those early morning workouts, to top t all off. I have been extremely active, and today it is all catching up to me. That is just the source of pain. I feel king of sick because I received my Pfizer booster yesterday. The first two times were easy peasy. Apparently, third times the charm…So, I figured today I will write about feeling sick while in grad school.
Oh no, I woke up sick
It probably won’t be like that, though. It will be more like “Ugh, I feel awful”. Waking up feeling sick in grad school can be the absolute worst. Probably the first thing you ask yourself is, ” is this Covid”. That might be the worst thing for grad students, particularly those with lab work, because you need to quarantine yourself. During this time of year, it can be a ton of different things that make you sick, so you might only feel lousy for a bit and then be fine. If it is Covid, and you don’t feel really lousy, it might be a good time to just binge watch every show that you can or get some writing done. See, there can be good things from these situations.
Treat Yourself
On days where you are feeling a bit sick, make sure to treat your body right. Drink plenty of fluids, try and eat decent foods, rest, and literally everything else the doctors tell you to do. The last thing you want is to feel even worse or have to go see a doctor. Treating yourself also means forgiving yourself for not being able to really do work that day. Getting sick is one of the worst things that can happen, especially if there is a deadline. It may also be a gift because your body is telling you to “stop”. Listen to your body. Work will always be there and you will never be or feel “caught up”. Take a day or two off. Treat yourself to easy activities such as watching Netflix, listening to audible books, heck, if you feel up to it, carve a wizard into a block of wood lol. Just make sure not to push yourself.
Let your adviser know
Sometimes, you may not see your adviser for months and then, all of a sudden, they pop up. I guarantee one of the days they pop up will be on the day that you feel sick. It’s a fact. Send them an email and let them know that you might not be in today or you may not do any work because you are feeling sick. They will understand. 99.9% of advisers will be happy that you stayed home. They need you to feel good so you can produce data for them, so taking a day off to recover is good. My adviser will send me emails to let me know when he’s sick. Most of the time it’s because I sent him papers to read or something he needs to look over. So, it’s totally fine to let them know you are sick. Your adviser is a person too, not some crazy boss.
Deadlines
If you get sick and there is a deadline, a hard deadline, then you need to email your adviser right away. If you feel a little under the weather then doing work won’t kill you. But, if you feel awful, you need to let them know that you cannot do work. There are very few deadlines that can’t be adjusted. If you are submitting a paper, those deadlines may not be able to change. For those deadlines, you may need to reach out for help from your adviser.
Deadlines that can be adjusted are good to have in this scenario. It’s easy, just push back the deadline a day or two. In the case of Covid, you may have to go longer. Unfortunately this may create some anxiety, but you have to just accept it. Life is uncertain and getting sick is one of those things that will happen but you don’t know when.
What to do then?
I feel like I could write a ton of information on this topic. I’ve had my fair share of sick days in my college career and probably so have you. Grad school sick days aren’t nearly as fun as when you were a kid. I loved sick days (not the feeling sick part) when I was a kid because I could watch The Price is Right as well as Jerry Springer (shhh, don’t tell my mom). I was able to hang out with my dog and eat ice cream all day. Man, those days were amazing. Also, my mom would bring home ginger ale and other snacks. It was nice having someone take care of me. You don’t really get that in grad school. Hopefully you have someone to help, but often times, you are on your own.
As I said before, take the day off! Don’t do anything related to your work because that may create some stress and your body cannot take anymore stress right now. Watch a ton of movies or shows. Heck, watch both. Hang out with your pets. I have my boy, Sirius, to watch over me and make sure I feel fine. Here are a few pics of him with his Slytherin and Gryffindor scarves on.
Also, being sick is a great way to catch up on some reading. I don’t mean for you to scour the literature, looking for research articles. No, read a fun, adventurous book that you haven’t read before. Lay down in a cozy chair or on your bed and spend a few hours reading. It’s easy and will make you feel better.
After your binge watching and book reading, make sure to take a nap. Sometimes, the best way to break a cold is to just sleep. Sleep is extremely beneficial and you’ll feel better afterwards. Take a hot shower prior to sleeping then nap for a few hours. Wake up and repeat the binge watching lol.
Final Thoughts
I hate feeling sick, but I know it will happen eventually. I try my best to eat right, exercise, and stay away from sick people, but sometimes you just get sick. If you are in grad school, you may get sick at a very inconvenient time such as a deadline or when about to go to a conference. This stuff happens and it’s part of life. Unfortunately, it’s not the best part of life. If you do happen to get sick, take a break and rest. Your body is telling you to slow down. Keep your health at the top of your most important things list. Research is important, but you can’t do it if you are sick all of the time.
Anyway, I hope you guys aren’t sick or feeling sick today, if you are, and want to do something, I suggest checking out my whole blog at love-and-bean.com. Go on there and give me some good advice on how to make it better. That would be amazing.
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Before I decided that I wanted to go to grad school, I was a civil engineer. I take that back, I did consider grad school, but the thought of making money out of college was really appealing, so I went that direction. After a few months of work (yes only a few months), I decided that I wanted to do a master’s in engineering. I figured that getting a master’s would really allow me to stand out and possibly make more money. I did still want to work full time so the only option was to do an online master’s through UF’s EDGE program. Here’s my experience in online grad school.
EDGE Program
The EDGE program was a cool concept because the live lectures would be recorded and you could watch them on your own time. You would be fully remote, but you would still feel like you were part of the in person class. It also isn’t one of those “go at your own pace” type deals. No, you did the course on the same timeline as the in person class.
I took classes like this for about a year before I decided that I should just go back to school. There were other reasons why I decided to get a PhD and they mostly dealt with my overall satisfaction in life. I was not as fulfilled as I wanted to be and felt pretty stuck. Also, I needed something to get me out of my comfort zone. Going back to school was the only decision, honestly, and it turned out to be the absolute best decision.
Pros and Cons. My Favorite!
I wanted to give some pros and cons of doing an online grad degree. These are all from my experience and it may be completely different for you. I think online grad degrees are just as good as in person, but there are some differences that kind of threw me off. Without further ado, here is my pros and cons of doing an online graduate degree.
Pros
Cons
The degree shows up as a master’s degree on a diploma.
You miss out on the in-person experience. Meaning, you don’t have hands on learning with the instructor. It can be frustrating.
It is convenient and you can do it after work or on the weekends.
If you work full time, you will be giving up weekends and nights to catch up on work.
The exams are all take-home (obviously) so you don’t have too much stress from taking it in a room with others.
Exams might still be timed so there is some pressure.
You can take one class or several classes at one time, depending on your schedule and time commitment
This may delay the time it takes to get a master’s. Usually they are 30 credits, so like 10 classes.
It is cheaper to do an online course. Tuition is still the same, but you don’t have to pay additional amounts for housing and food and such. You will be working at the same time too, so you’ll have additional money.
You miss out on the college life. It may seem like a good thing to not have to deal with that again, but something about being poor and only focusing on school is exciting and joyous. I don’t know, I’m weird like that lol
The work is the same difficulty and you are getting the same education as being in an actual class.
The work is just as hard lol
You can email a professor whenever you like and they can help out.
You have to schedule time to see them. This may mean scheduling a time at night to zoom meet with them. My advisor actually did this last night while I was in the lab. It was about 8:30 pm and he was talking to EDGE students since that was the only time they could meet.
You will get really good at using the computer, especially zoom.
You will need to spend a great amount of time on a computer.
Final Thoughts
I thought doing a master’s online was awesome. I was even able to come to in person classes and take exams and give presentations. It made me feel like I was back in school again and I had a wonderful time doing it. If you are considering applying for an online master’s, I highly suggest doing it. The acceptance rates are extremely high and you can even do your master’s at top schools in the nation. You get the same quality education as in person students get as well. Here is a list of the best online degrees of 2021 from US News. Check it out.
