Talk about your mental health

Story time! So this past weekend, I went to visit my parents and hang out with my brother and his girlfriend as well as my niece and nephew. It was a great time seeing everyone and I thoroughly enjoy when I get to spend time with them. Well, while I was visiting, I was discussing with my mom about my recent panic attacks. Yes, I have been getting quite a few ever since I made the transition from grad school to the real world. She told me something that gave me hope, other than telling me she supports me getting therapy and such. What she said was she feels relieved that millennials talk about mental health.

talking to other's about your mental health

Talking about mental health is a great way to normalize getting help and getting support. I am all for talking with others about my mental state and getting to know theirs as well. The amazing thing is, most of the time, people will listen to you and empathize.

I strongly believe that we need to openly discuss how we are feeling and our mental state. I feel a strange connection with other’s when I do this. Usually the other person is also going through something at that time and it’s nice to know that you are not alone. I frequently bring up that I have gone to therapy, that I have anxiety, that I have frequent panic attacks, and that i may or may not have some from of mental disorder. These things are more common than you know. According to the Mental Health Foundation, nearly 1/3 of millennials have some type of behavior health problem and suffer more from depression than older generations. So yes, it is very common.

We need to do more to make it known that people do not need to suffer alone. This is why I encourage you, especially those in grad school or college, to talk with your friends about mental health. Talk with adults about mental health and make it less of something that is somewhat taboo. We need to do better about this topic.

talk about your mental health

How to talk to others about your mental health

You may be asking yourself, “how the heck do I bring up my mental health to someone else?” or possibly “why should I do this? People won’t understand.” In this case, I have a few answers to this. First off, bringing up your mental health can be as simple as just saying you are feeling a bit anxious today about something. When you are talking with a friend or someone you work with, it is often common to bring up things that are a bit difficult. You may talk with a friend about something that happened in your life that has been hard. In this case, bring up how that has made you feel and maybe that there are some other things that are a bit difficult happening as well. Your friend will definitely talk about it with you.

If you are at work and you are really having a rough time, bring it up to a work buddy. Say that you are feeling a bit stressed or anxious about the work. They may have the same thing to say and you can work with them on giving each other support. I often bring up my anxiety to coworkers (make sure they are trustworthy if you are talking with your coworkers) and I let them know that I am feeling a bit anxious about work. They are always extremely supportive and many of them give extremely good advice on how to cope. I have never had a bad experience telling someone how I feel.

In grad school, find support

I think the end of my PhD was the most mentally draining experience of my life. Heck, I was already working when I was finishing my dissertation. I would work all day then come home and put in like 3 to 4 hours of work then go to bed and repeat. Jumping back and forth with mentally taxing tasks really messed me up. This is usually the case for many grad students. When this happens, please reach out to some form of support whether that’s a therapist, talking to a friend, or even talking with your adviser. Getting support during the stressful times can save you years of anxiety and possibly depression that occurs because of the mental gymnastics that comes with grad school. I got support from my friends, family, and a therapist. Without the support, then I don’t know how I would have finished.

In the working world, find support

The best part about life after grad school is actually having money. Use that money to get help from a licensed professional. Talk with them about your mental health and the coping mechanisms that are there to help reduce those feelings. Therapy is the best thing, I promise you. It is amazing at how a few sessions can cause such a drastic change on how you perceive emotions and feelings. If you want to learn more, check out my posts about my experience with therapy. I am starting therapy up again, so I will definitely write about my experience with therapy as a full time employee. I anticipate the sessions that I have will be a bit different than when I was in grad school.

Also, if you make friends at work, talk with them about mental health like I said above. That might be helpful. Aside from that, your job may have therapy coverage through their insurance. I’m hoping mine does, but we will see. Covid really helped companies realize that they need to focus on mental health. This brought up a ton of programs in big companies which focused on mental health awareness in the last 2 years. Take full advantage of that.

be kind and talk to people about your mental health

Final Thoughts

Talk about your mental health. Make sure people know how you feel so you do not suffer alone. People totally understand what you are going through and most people will try and help or at least listen to you. Talking about mental health and making it a normal thing to talk about is how we will all get better, or at least will help. We need to look out for each other and make sure we are all ok. Mental health is such an important thing to focus on and I hope to be one to help.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Thank goodness I am actually excited to blog again and the creative juices are flowing. I am coming out of a bit of a funk which has been very nice. Hopefully my mental state continues to improve as I’ve had a rough couple of months. You can read about the end of my doctorate here. It was stressful lol. Anyway, I will continue to keep blogging and help out as best I can. Peace!

Winter Weather and Lack of Motivation

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I’m starting to think that I write way too much about having a lack of motivation. Honestly, this is such a common occurrence in my life that I can’t help but talk about it. I am quite sure that this is a common problem that all grad students face and it’s about to get a lot harder in the next coming weeks. See, it’s the end of the semester which means a couple of things 1) Thanksgiving break 2) Finals and 3) graduation (if you’re lucky) or winter break. What do all of these things have in common? They all bring a lack of motivation to do work for class. Heck, you’ve probably already calculated the bare minimum score for your final to pass and plan on aiming to get there.

Gloomy weather

Another reason why the end is so difficult is because of the weather. We have some crazy weather events that occur in winter, down in the swamp. We get pretty decent cold fronts that cause for extremely gloomy weather. today is one of those days, you know, the type of day where you binge watch Harry Potter and drink coffee in bed. Yeah, this is that type of day. Below is the current weather radar. Looks like today and tomorrow will be pretty unproductive.

For those that are finding it hard to get work done, I get you. I really do. Honestly, you’re motivation to get anything done is going to dwindle pretty quickly. This is normal and everyone, even those working full time, are going to experience it. Just keep on keeping on and be kind to yourself. Doing any work on days like today is an accomplishment that deserves a Harry potter binge watching marathon.

Some motivation

If you are truly unmotivated to do anything, I suggest checking out my blog on how to get motivation and create it yourself (link here). This is probably a good time to hone those skills before the end of the semester hits you. For me, and most PhD candidates, the end of the semester doesn’t mean too much. We usually don’t follow that schedule. For master’s students, this is a stressful time. Make sure to take care of yourself during these times. Also, take plenty of breaks. If you get burnt out during this time, there’s not much time to recover.

Winter is coming

Another thing that might show up during this time is some form of the winter blues. The weather, lack of sunlight, and stress of completing the semester could be a recipe for disaster. I am not sure if this is something that would work for you or not but I recently bought a light therapy lamp (this one). I know, I know, I live in Florida where it has more sun than the rest of the states. This is true but I leave my apartment relatively early and get some late. Also, my office doesn’t have windows so I need a bit f help. I have read great things about these. This might be something good to get to help you through these next few weeks.

I am going to leave you with a video on seasonal affective disorder by my favorite therapist, Emma McAdams. I’ll always send you guys her way. As always, I hope you have a wonderful day. It’s Friday, so do something fun after work or relax.

My Experience With Therapy in Grad School

This post about therapy in grad school may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

I have written quite a few pieces where I emphasize the importance of therapy, especially in grad school. In fact, like 50% of my posts in my “Mindfulness and Meditation” section contain something about therapy. Today, I want to share a little bit of my experience using Talkspace.com and the pros and cons of this platform.

therapy in grad school

My experience with therapy in Grad School

I started therapy March of last year. I remember because quarantine hadn’t started yet and that was something my therapist brought up later. At first, it was mostly just texting back and forth. I preferred this method because I am a shy person, and talking about my feelings is hard to do. It was also fairly convenient because I could text my therapist at any time during the day or night. This was definitely a perk of using the app.

After about 3 months of texting, my therapist asked if I would prefer to do a 1 hour, live session, instead of texting. Little ol’ anxious Ben said no, at first, because this made me feel uncomfortable. My therapist understood and was still really supportive. It wasn’t until last fall that I decided to do live sessions.

Live Sessions

Live sessions are amazing. You really get to cover a ton of information and learn so much about yourself. It also was a one and done kind of thing, better than texting about my feeling every night. I had a 1 hour session which covered literally everything on this blog. I mostly dealt with understanding my feelings, coping with anxiety, and practicing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Check out this article on the benefits of this method (link here). Needless to say, Talkspace was well worth it.

What I Didn’t Like about Therapy in Grad School

Of course there were some things that I didn’t like about doing online therapy, mostly the texting portion. If you get the basic plan on any of these online therapies, you may just get texting. I think BetterHelp has a better plan than Talkspace, but I am not sure. If you have tried BetterHelp, let me know your experience with that one. The live sessions are the best attribute of the app but their platform isn’t that good and sometimes the video chat doesn’t work. This can be bad if you desperately need a therapy session and the technology doesn’t allow for that to happen.

What I really Liked about Online Therapy

I think there are more pros than cons when it came to my experience with Talkspace. Yes, I posted some things I didn’t like, but everything has things you don’t like. I absolutely loved my time doing therapy. My therapist was so kind and helped me walk through all of my fears, anxieties, and mental strains. She was able to really dive deep into who I am and get to know me on a personal level. She helped me overcome quite a few things such as depression and anxiety so I can live a normal life. In fact, I am still in a very positive place now ever since therapy ended.

I ended my therapy sessions in the spring of 2021, after almost of year of seeing my therapist. My therapist only wanted to see me once a month to check in and that did not occur as she left Talkspace because they didn’t pay enough. It was fine with me because I felt like a new person. Therapy was an amazing decision and I highly recommend it.

therapy in grad school

Pros and Cons of Doing Online Therapy

Pros

  1. Super easy and convenient. You can text your therapist at any time during the day
  2. You get to have a one-on -one session with them ponce a week, for an hour
  3. It’s very cheap and may be covered by insurance
  4. The therapists are amazing
  5. They give you recommendations for therapists based on what you are having trouble with
  6. It actually works
  7. They give you weekly updates and reports
  8. Often covered by colleges

Cons

  1. You only get 5 text messages per week from your therapist.
  2. Their more expensive option provides more, but is often not really enough if you need immediate help.
  3. Not all insurance helps, so you will be paying out of pocket.
  4. Their platform doesn’t work well with video chats sometimes.
  5. They don’t pay their therapists that much so some end up leaving.

So Will it really help you?

Therapy will most definitely help you. Though, you have to find something that fits best with you. For doing therapy in grad school, being able to just zoom meet was a blessing. In grad school, it might be inconvenient to drive to a therapist and have an hour session in between work. Doing these online sessions gives you the freedom of doing therapy literally anywhere.

I know for a fact that therapy helped me overcome quite a few things in grad school. I am certain that it can help you or at least get you on the right track to get better. Therapy was probably the best thing I did to deal with the stresses of grad school as well as the stresses of life.

Final Thought

If you are considering therapy, don’t rule out online therapy. There are so many therapy platforms online that I would say are just as good as regular session. The top three that I would suggest would be 1) Talkspace 2) BetterHelp and 3) Online-Therapy. Whichever you choose, I am sure that it will help significantly. If you are in grad school, or just in a stressful job, taking the time to get help, professionally, can change your life.

If you have experience using online therapy platforms, comment below. I would love to read about your experience. Also, if you are still on the fence about doing therapy, whether in person or online, please send me an email at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would love to talk with you and we can figure out what is best. You can also email me for any questions related to grad school or therapy. As always, I hope you all have a wonderful day/week/month/year and I will see you in the next blog.

Why Everyone Needs Therapy

As you may have guessed, I suffer from a few different mental issues that are only worsened by my graduate studies. I have learned to cope with these feeling and have completely accepted that they are a part of who I am. I have come to peace with my anxiety and depression and have learned to live and THRIVE, mostly because I went to see a therapist. Let me stat off by saying that, yes.!!!, even you can benefit from therapy. You do not need to have anxious thoughts, or depression, or any mental illness whatsoever to benefit from seeing a therapist. Therapy is for everyone to help find methods to handle the struggles in life. There may be some crazy issues that you may face in the future, and therapy prepares you for those battles.

Luckily, my insurance covers the cost of using the app Talkspace or Online-Therapy. I was so nervous to see a therapist because I truly thought something was desperately wrong with me and therapy couldn’t help out. Boy was I wrong. My therapist was a professional in the field of anxiety as well as, I believe, family therapy. She had been a therapist for like 30 years, so she has dealt with everything. It did take me a few weeks to feel confident enough to truly open up to her.

About 3 months ago, she told me that she only needed to see me once a month because I was a totally different person than when I started. Being told that made me feel 1000 times happier than being accepted into a doctorate program. I have been able to cope with my emotions and feelings ever since. It truly is an amazing feeling.

Everyone should at least see a therapist once in their life. It is a scary thing to go see someone and truly open up to them but I can assure you that it is worth it. Talkspace was a good start and they were relatively cheap. Therapy is a great way of helping you get through every day struggles that you may have, or it might just be the boost and support to allow you to start that new chapter in your life. It allows you to address your fears and emotions and find ways to live with those things as well as use them as tools to progress in life.

Covid has led to a ton of people seeking therapy and that is amazing. People are understanding that something is wrong and want to correct that before it controls their lives. Isolation and loneliness were two big topics brought up by my therapist during the early stages of the pandemic. This really affected people and still does. You should never feel alone. You can be alone but should not feel lonely.

I hope the people that are on the fence about therapy go and see one. It truly was one of the best decisions of my life. In fact, this blog that I have created would not have been started without the help of my therapist. I hope you have an amazing day and I hope this blog was inciteful. Let me know if you go to therapy or someone you know does and how they feel about it.