Skills You Learn in Grad School

I think the most brought up portion of grad school, other than how hard it can be, is the topic of skillsets. you are going to learn a ton of new skills or just hone old skills that are a bit rusty. We know the types of skills that you will learn:

  1. research skills
  2. public speaking
  3. How to not spill concentrated acid on yourself
  4. How to conduct research
  5. What is considered “bad research”
  6. You’ll be an expert at Excel

These are just some of the major skills that you will learn along with 100 others. Today I want to talk about the weird and not-so-talked-about skills that you learn in grad school.

skills you learn in grad school

1) How to manage money without crying every night

This skill is learned very quickly. You are not really given a ton of money to work with and you somehow need to survive off of a salary that, in some cases, is below the poverty line. This skill is probably one of the best to learn because you are living at rock bottom, yet somehow thriving. Yes, simple living is not too exciting but this is a valuable skill to have because: 1) incase you get in a situation like this again, it will not shock you and you will know how to handle it and 2) you can help teach others how to live poor in case they are in that situation. Also, you will be a better person because you can sympathize with those that are struggling financially. You will probably be the first person to help them too since you know what it is like.

2 Women Sitting on Brown Wooden Chair

2) How to handle mental stress

Grad school is very difficult on your mental health. Heck, this whole blog is to help grad students cope with their feelings, handle their anxiety, and create a mindset that will allow for them to live a very happy and fulfilling life. At first, you may struggle. you may find anything and everything to help you cope. And, let me tell you something, you’ll find the help you need. You’ll practice mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. You’ll try meditation and maybe yoga. You will end your grad school tenure in a better mindset than you had going in. This is a skill that is self learned with a ton of practice, but it can be done. You have seen rock bottom and most definitely won’t ever again (hopefully).

3) How to help other’s, especially new grads.

I hope you had a mentor when you first started grad school. if not then you might have had a bit of a tough time getting used to everything going on. Towards the end of your schooling, you become the mentor. You will have the skillset to teach the younger generation on how to strive in grad school. It is actually quite flattering when you are told to mentor someone. It means that you are trustworthy to help others on their journey. Even if you aren’t told, you’ll have the feeling to go and help someone. Seeing others struggle is kind of hard, and helping them, even a little bit, is extremely satisfying. This is a skill that I think more people need to have.

4) How to stop caring what other’s think of you

As a researcher, you will have a ton of people trying their hardest to make you feel stupid. When you get an advanced degree, it’s almost like an open invitation for people to try and find something that they can fool you with or test your knowledge. They may even say some really nasty things about you or to you. People will judge you, criticize you, and flat out be mean or make fun of you. Those things will not even bother you once you are done. You have gone through one of the hardest pieces of judgement (peer review) and you survived. Nothing that people say or think even bothers you slightly. This is one of the coolest skills to have because you start living the life you want without caring what other’s think. In undergrad, heck even more so in high school, I cared what people thought of me. I cared so much that it caused a ton of pain and suffering for me. Now, I couldn’t care less what people thought of me. It’s liberating, honestly, and I love it.

5) You will be kinder

This is such an important skill to learn. Being kind to other’s will get you extremely far in life. The kind people are always the one’s you really admire and remember. Well, you also remember mean people, but mean people suck lol so being kind is the way to go. After being thrown into the fire, that is, academia, you tend to come out a bit more kind hearted. You have been through tough times and you don’t want other’s to suffer the way you did. Kindness is a skill that is learned. Sure you can show kindness, but it takes a long time to learn how to be a kind person. You have the time to learn while you are in grad school. I highly recommend acquiring this skill set.

Final Thoughts

These are a few skills that I truly believe grad students obtain during their years in school. These are much different than the other skills leaned such as self motivation, analytic skills, and balancing their life with work. These skills mentioned above are some that many people look passed and it is kind of sad. The above mentioned skills that you learn in grad school are some of the best you can have. Trust me.

If you went to grad school, let me know in the comments some of the skills that you learned. Maybe we can make this list even bigger! As always, thank you so much for reading my blog. You may have noticed that my posts are getting a bit longer. I am testing out writing longer posts, but fewer of them. Apparently, I still have to do PhD work and not just spend my time blogging, though blogging is more fun. I hope you guys have a great week and I will see you in the next one.

Your Plans Will Change. That’s Ok

Grad students, professions, and those starting their schooling! What did you want to be when you grew up? Think way back to childhood and pretend as if someone just asked you that question. Did you want to be a doctor? A firefighter? A chef? What was your passion at that age? Ok, now that you have done that exercise, I want to ask you, what do you want to be after college or what do you want to be in 10 years? Is it the same as when you were a child? Odds are that it’s not, but some people may surprise me, so let me know in the comments if you are the small percentage that became what you wanted to be.

Man on Motorcycle in the Middle of Road

My story

When I was young, I wanted to be a professional baseball player. I was really good at sports as a kid and was set on being the next Derek Jeter. Once I reached about 6th grade, I started cooking and wanted to be a chef. I even was accepted into my high school’s culinary academy. The first two years in college, I wanted to be a marine biologist. Next thing I know, I’m studying hard to get into UF as an Environmental Engineer student. I graduated and became a civil engineer and now I am a biogeochemist. I have come a very long from where I started and that is totally fine. In fact, that shows that I have thought a lot about what I am truly passionate about and what makes me happy.

Pondering mature woman looking out window

Embrace the Uncertainty

It amazes me that people in undergrad knew exactly what they wanted to do in life. Heck, I even knew what I wanted to be. I chose environmental engineering and wanted to save the planet. I talk to a ton of undergrads and they have a 10 year plan locked down, even telling me what projects they want or will be working on, like they are so sure that will happen. The thing is, life is uncertain. (I have written about uncertainty in grad school. Check it out here). I know this for certain because I have experienced such a drastic change in who I am since I graduated with my bachelors in 2016. This is wonderful and I will tell you why.

A Man Having Coffee at a Table

Change

Changing what you want to do is growth. As you get older, you start to really hone in on things that you are truly passionate about and you will want to do those things. When you are young, you may not have the experience yet to know what careers are best. This is why it is Ok to change your plans as you go. I think the best thing to do is find your strengths and focus on those. Once you figure out your strength, you can easily adjust your career goals.

Starting Over is Ok

I have met so many people that have just started over after graduating with their bachelors. They have figured out what they want in life, or at least the next chapter of life. I find this so fascinating and inspiring. People often just give up and say that they “are too old” to start over. These individuals that are starting over realized what they want in life and don’t care how old they are. They just want to create the life that they have always wanted. I truly admire these individuals.

My brother was one of those individuals as well as my old boss. Both really took a look at what they were passionate about and decided to change up what they were doing to pursue those careers. That takes a lot of guts to do because you are giving up what you are comfortable with, stepping out of that comfort zone, and going into the unknown, practically blind. This is super scary to do but both are really thriving with their decisions.

Final Thought

Changing your mind about what you want to do in life and starting over is totally ok and actually very good to do. Life is short, yet long at the same time. What you are passionate about know may not be what you’re passionate about in the next 10 years or so. I tell people all of the time that are graduating that the next job they get is not the last job that they will get. You will change directions in life and that means that you are growing. You are trying to find your place in this universe, even if it’s only for a short amount of time. I highly encourage you to be open to all sorts of careers and know that you might start off loving a career path but that may change drastically one day. You may graduate with a doctorate in engineering but might be a charter boa captain in a few years. Who knows?

One day you might be the individual that is starting over in their life. You may want to start over entirely and become a doctor or lawyer, or own a waffle food truck (you know who you are lol). I think that’s awesome and you should go for it. The worst thing that can happen is you ask for your old job back which will give you even more time to think of your next career move. Life has a crazy way of working out. It may take a bit of time, but things will work in your favor. I hope you find your passion one day.

Lastly

I hope you all have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next post. If you haven’t already, go check out my blog about surrounding yourself with success (link here). I know you’ll find that to be a good read. Also, check out the rest of my blog at love-and-bean.com. I am trying to get more visitors to my blog and get more of a reach to grad students across the world. If you know someone in grad school, share this blog with them. I would love for them to read and comment with their stories and tips. Let’s build a community.

Surround Yourself With Success

I have met a ton of people in my life. I have made friendships and have ended friendships. And if you are anything like me, or like literally every other person, you have probably done the same. For me, I have gotten to a stage in my life where I am focusing on quality over quantity. As you get older, your friend group tends to shrink. You will have many acquaintances, but very little close friends. Of course, there are always exceptions, but for the most part, your friend group will shrink. This is why finding quality friends and being able to surround yourself with success is optimal, especially when pursuing an advanced degree.

Grad School

Grad school will introduce you to some brilliant individuals. You will meet a ton of like minded individuals as well as many people who may have differing views. Grad school is also a great time to surround yourself with people that will help with your success. The 2 to 8 years in grad school will fly by so quickly that you might not have too much time to prepare for what comes afterwards. This is why it is so important to start early by finding people that will help you along the journey and help you achieve your goals.

surround yourself with success

Surround Yourself With Successful People

If you want to achieve your goals, surround yourself with people that will help you along the way. These people will provide you will the support and care that you need. Grad school is hard. Being alone for most of the day and working on stuff that you know very little about is hard. This is why a really good support system is need to keep you going. I have gotten to the point where the people in my life are there for a reason. They are all really great friends to have with qualities that make them really stand out. I have friends that encourage my blog posts, friends that help keep me in shape, heck, I have friends that just talk fishing with me. Each one has changed me as an individual and made me a much better person.

It is important to surround yourself with people that will help you but it equally as important to help them. For example, many of my friends are grad students and have similar problems that I have. They trust me enough to come to me and talk through these problems. I provide a great service, even if it is just me listening. Just simple acts like this can benefit their life and make you an overall exceptional contribution to their lives.

successful people

Here are a few things that help you surround yourself with success:

1) Find individuals that have similar passions or goals.

This is great because then you can bounce off each other and achieve your goals together. One example for grad students is writing. Make friends with the people that also need to write. You can keep each other accountable, and next thing you know, you both have written your dissertation in a reasonable amount of time. This is a great example of surrounding yourself with success and also being that “successful person” that the other person needs in their life.

2) Just talk with people and see if they have something that benefits your life.

I do not mean just use them to benefit your own life, I mean find good qualities in their life that will help to benefit yours. They can just be a really positive person and that can give you the boost to see the good in life. The person may just love to cook or something and you love to cook. It gives you something to bond over and hone your skills together. Everyone can offer something. Of course many people have different things to offer such as being a partier or maybe they do illegal things. It might be wise to not surround yourself with people like them.

3) Put yourself out there and see who you attract.

This might be a good way of understanding the type of person people see you as. You may think you are a positive person 100% of the time and then attract a lot of negative people. It might actually be good to see this and maybe reevaluate your goals and the type of person you are. Put good out in the world and you will receive good.

4) Go to events that help you succeed.

You will meet a ton of people that want to be successful at events such as conventions, workshops, anything professional related, stuff like that. Of course you can meet a ton of these people elsewhere, but this is a location where it’s pretty dense with possibly like minded and beneficial friends. I go to grad events to meet other grads because I want to surround myself with similar individual. This helps my success. Going to bars, you may find these people but they are harder to find.

5) Lastly, understand that it takes time.

It may take you the whole 2 to 8 years of grad school to find the right people to surround yourself with. This is totally ok. It is not a race to see how many friends you have. It’s about finding quality and that takes time sometimes. I was fortunate to find very helpful and just plain fun individuals to spend my time with. Some people may take longer to find their niche, but it will happen.

Final Thoughts

Surround yourself with success! Everyone wants to grow as individuals and this is a sure-fire way to do just that. This blog post turned out to almost be an appreciation post to my friends. This is also an appreciation post to my audience as well. I have surrounded myself with writers and blogs, and dare I say it, friends. Those in my life and those on the internet have molded me into who I am today. Without everyone’s love, support, and guidance, I wouldn’t be as fortunate as I am today. Thank you all.

Habits of a Successful Graduate Student

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Surviving grad school can be a tricky thing to do. You will be faced with a significant amount of road blocks in the 2-8 years that you are in school for. Some of these roadblocks are easy to traverse around while others may be a bit more difficult. But, with a few good habits, you can train yourself to take these head on and be quite successful, or at least survive. Here are 8 Habits that I have found quite useful to have when in grad school.

  1. Stay consistent. Stick to a schedule and try and keep that such as getting to the lab every day at 9 am and staying until 5 pm. By having a routine and sticking with it, you will find getting things done way easier. I stick to being in the lab from 8 am to 6 pm. This gives me enough time to get stuff done and doesn’t have me doing extra work in the evening.
  2. Make time for joy. Remember that life is so much more than your work. Why people say differently is so mind boggling. What do you enjoy doing outside of work? Figure that out and do it after your work day is up. Or, doing it during the work day when your experience are running lol. A grad program can be long but that doesn’t mean that your life stops. Finding joy in your life with increase productivity, I guarantee that,
  3. Exercise. I have a ton of blogs on exercising and how it helps. Stay consistent and exercise often. You will be happier, more energetic, and a much better grad student.
  4. Sleep at a reasonable time. Sleep is as important, if not more, than anything on this list. There are many effects that can occur if you do not sleep enough. Read more about it here.
  5. Learn to motivate yourself and don’t wait to be motivated. There is a great video by Therapy in a Nutshell about motivation. I suggest watching it. Here it is.
  6. Make your bed. You have probably seen this all over the internet. It’s true, making your bed is a great habit to have. Here is a great video to watch that is also extremely motivating. I hope it helps.
  7. Stay off social media. Social media is such a distraction, especially when you don’t want to do work. By learning to stay off of it, you will be more productive, and, to be honest, happier. You can get way more done in a shorter amount of time so you can leave and go do things that bring you joy. This is a habit that I am currently trying to get. It is hard but worth it.
  8. Meditate. Mental health is as important or even more important than physical health. Making this a habit can be the difference between finishing your doctorate/ masters or not. Trust me when I say, meditation is a life saver. Read about how to start here.

These are a few habits that I think will help you finish this journey. Grad school is tough, but with help, you can survive and thrive. I hope you already have some of these habits down or you are willing to try and create these habits. I know they will help you significantly. If you are having trouble getting motivated, I highly suggest taking a look at some of the courses at INeedmotivation.com. Here’s a link to those courses.

How to Deal With Failure in Grad School

I want to start off this blog telling you that I do not believe that there is such thing as failure when you have tried to do something. True failure in grad school comes from not even trying in the first place due to fear of not getting the result you want. People that tell you that they failed an exam, failed a marriage, failed really anything are not actually failing. Ok sorry to be redundant with all of the “failures” lol.

So why did I name this blog “How to Deal With Failure in Grad School”? It’s because most people would rather see that than something like “How I deal With Finding Out a Different Way of Doing Something Because the Results Did Not Turn Out the Way I Planned”. It’s a mouth full isn’t it?

dealing with failure in grad school

You Have to Learn from Failure in Grad School

So let me tell you how I go about dealing with a situation that I was not expecting, or one that I did not like. I simply learn something from it. I have gone through a ton of therapy and have listened to a ridiculous amount of Buddhist talks to change my way of looking at “failures”. They are all learning experiences which means that they aren’t failures at all. Sure, you may have failed an exam, but you learned that the method of studying that you did wasn’t right. Sure, your marriage didn’t go as planned, but you learned that you were not in the right relationship.

Sure, I failed an experiment and managed to spill leaded water all over the place, probably causing me to ingest the same concentrations of lead that were found in Flint, Michigan’s water, but I learned that I need to be more careful when it comes to things like that.

The fact of the matter is you need to learn something from each “failure” that you have. If you haven’t at least learned one thing, than that could be called a failure as well. Listen, grad school will make you feel like everything that you do is a failure. Sure, your experiments didn’t go as planned, but if you pay attention, you would have learned how the experiment didn’t go as planned. You learned what not to do and you won’t make that mistake again. See how you can use each failure in grad school as a learning experience?

failure in grad school

You Have to Try

The only true failure in grad school is when you just don’t try. I tell people all of the time to just try and do something even though they “know for a fact that it will go bad”. The future is completely uncertain and you never know what will happen. I see how my thoughts stop me from even trying something, but I will force myself to do it, and then it turns out it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Many people are just too afraid of the failure process so they don’t even attempt to do what they are so worried they will fail at it. You know what every expert ever did? They failed more than they succeeded. They failed so much until they eventually got it right. They might have been afraid to fail but they went about trying anyway.

One thing that I hear all of the time is “what if I get it wrong?” This is especially true when dealing with grad courses. People are afraid to try new things because they might not get it right the first time. That is true failure. Just not trying because you “know you will fail.” This mindset causes all sorts of problems later and it creates a ton of anxiety, trust me.

As I have touch upon in my blog about doing things that scare you (link here), just trying something, even if its scary, will help you succeed. You will get to a point where failing doesn’t affect you. You’ll be numb to that awkward feeling after failing. But, you have to try it, even if it’s scary.

Overall

By changing your mindset, and I believe this is a major part of cognitive behavioral therapy, you will see that failures do not exist. You you happen to screw up pretty badly, learn at least one thing from it. If you embarrass yourself and call that a failure, laugh about it and make it into a funny memory. Life is way too short to not take risks and worry about failure. Luckily, I am learning a great deal about not being afraid to fail in grad school. I have been told “no” so many times and I have messed up more times than not, and you know what? I learn something each time and I continue on. It is an experience to grow from these experiences. It’s a long process, but my God, it is life changing.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with failure in grad school is hard, I get it. It is, however, essential. The things you are working on and will be working on might be brand new in this world. You might be working on some novel idea that may change history. You think you’ll get everything perfect? Probably not lol. See, the mistakes are where you learn the most and those mistakes might not even be mistakes. I find that when I mess up, something cool comes from it. Changing your mindset about what a failure is is a great way to overcome the fear of it.

I hope you guys understand what I am trying to get across. Don’t be afraid to fail in grad school. Embrace the suck and realize that each “failure” is a great opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. I promise you that changing your mindset about failure in grad school will drastically improve the way you go about experiments and research. Don’t be afraid to fail. I hope you all have a wonderful day and week. Let me know how failure has helped you out and made you a better person. Peace!

How I Deal With FAILURE!!!

I want to start off this blog telling you that I do not believe that there is such thing as failure when you have tried to do something. True failure comes from not even trying in the first place due to fear of not getting the result you want. People that tell you that they failed an exam, failed a marriage, failed really anything are not actually failing. Ok sorry to be redundant with all of the “failures” lol.

So why did I name this blog “How I Deal With Failure”? It’s because most people would rather see that than something like “How I deal With Finding Out a Different Way of Doing Something Because the Results Did Not Turn Out the Way I Planned”. It’s a mouth full isn’t it?

So let me tell you how I go about dealing with a situation that I was not expecting, or one that I did not like. I simply learn something from it. I have gone through a ton of therapy and have listened to a ridiculous amount of Buddhist talks to change my way of looking at “failures”. They are all learning experiences which means that they aren’t failures at all. Sure, you may have failed an exam, but you learned that the method of studying that you did wasn’t right. Sure, your marriage didn’t go as planned, but you learned that you were not in the right relationship. Sure, I failed an experiment and managed to spill leaded water all over the place, probably causing me to ingest the same concentrations of lead that were found in Flint, Michigan’s water, but I learned that I need to be more careful when it comes to things like that.

The only true failure is when you just don’t try. I tell people all of the time to just try and do something even though they “know for a fact that it will go bad”. The future is completely uncertain and you never know what will happen. I see how my thoughts stop me from even trying something, but I will force myself to do it, and then it turns out it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

By changing your mindset, and I believe this is a major part of cognitive behavioral therapy, you will see that failures do not exist. You you happen to screw up pretty badly, learn at least one thing from it. If you embarrass yourself and call that a failure, laugh about it and make it into a funny memory. Life is way too short to not take risks and worry about failure. I am learning a great deal about not being afraid to fail in grad school. I have been told “no” so many times and I have messed up more times than not, and you know what? I learn something each time and I continue on. I grow from these experiences and you will too. It’s a long process, but my God, it is life changing.