meditation Archives - Page 4 of 4 - MINDFULNESS IN GRAD SCHOOLMINDFULNESS IN GRAD SCHOOL

So grad school is God awful!!! when it comes to mental health. I actually had to see a therapist for about a year, but Ill go into that later. Let’s start off with how I ended up going about this mental health journey. So, about 5 years ago, I had a major panic attack that was brought on by pre-workout. Now if you have had preworkout before, you know how strong that stuff is. I was taking it to boost my performance in the gym. I absolutely love working out and being fit, well… this was what I thought would help me achieve those goals. WRONG!!!! I had a huge panic attack and suffered from depression for like 6 months after, all trying to finish my undergrad degree in environmental engineering. It was tough and I really had no clue what to do, but I kept going. Fast forward to 2019. I started my doctoral program and was suffering from anxiety. I am a worrier. My mom constantly tells me this and it is true. Well, in grad school, mental health is a major concern and I didn’t really heed all of the warnings. I got to a point where what occurred in 2016, started to happen in 2016. I became super depressed and anxious. That is where a wonderful journey started, one where I would find out who I was, what I wanted from life, and how to find happiness, even in the darkest of times.

So you might be wondering, “Ben, you are a scientist, not a writer! Why are you blogging?” I’ll tell you why. I am currently in my last year as a grad student and writing has become such an important part of my day that I almost consider myself a writer and not a scientist. I have written paper after paper, hoping to get at least one published. By creating a blog, I am able to hone my writing skills and, hopefully, better convey the science that I am doing.

Writing has been such a great outlet for me as well. I am able to express my emotions through writing and it has helped me significantly drive back anxiety and depression. I put on coffee shop music, sit down, and just write whatever is on my mind. Sometimes, I write scholarly articles/manuscripts. Other times, I just write gibberish and hope that no one sees it. Either way, It has helped to make me feel accomplished as well as helped to keep my attention on something (my attention span is garbage). I have just begun my journey and I hope this leads into something greater. Even if I suck at it, at least I will be proud that I started.

“Dude, sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something”-Jake the Dog

MINDFULNESS IN GRAD SCHOOL

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