Hello to All of My Favorite People!!!

It has been two months since I last posted, so I better post again. Lucky for you, I actually have a good reason to post this time.

Over the summer, I joined the AWWA mentorship program, which connects you with a mentee who is either a young professional or a student. Because I am a researcher, I have been getting matched with grad students, which has been amazing. I actually prefer getting matched with grad students over young professionals, and I think this blog has a lot to do with that.

So far, I have had two very awesome mentees who I have been helping with various things like getting involved with committees, preparing for their defenses, figuring out what to do after graduation, and just getting through the struggles of grad school.

Basically, all the things that I have posted about on this blog.

So, naturally, I wanted to write a post about becoming a mentor and what I have learned through the program so far.

And, more importantly:

Become a mentor!

Everyone Goes Through What You Went Through

This is a fact.

I mean, grad school is different for everyone, of course. But many of the problems, insecurities, and negative aspects of grad school are pretty universal.

I honestly thought that I was dumb and a failure and all sorts of other negative things while I was in grad school. It took me a while to realize that those thoughts were mostly imposter syndrome, and a lot of students go through the exact same thing.

The students I mentor have publications, awards, recognitions, and all sorts of accomplishments. They are overall amazing students, but they still sometimes feel like failures because of that little voice in their head telling them that they aren’t good enough.

Sound familiar?

This is one reason why I really like talking with students. I went through that. I remember exactly what it felt like, and now I can help someone else question those thoughts rather than automatically believing them.

Plus, I am still young, so they can’t say I’m out of touch with today’s youth :p.

The fear of the unknown after graduating is also very, very real. I have been fortunate enough to provide some guidance to my mentees about the different options that are out there and, hopefully, provide a little bit of hope for them.

Getting a PhD is tough, but sometimes getting a job afterward is even tougher, especially when you are trying to get a job outside of academia without much experience outside of academia.

Sometimes just hearing from someone who recently went through that transition can help.

It Helps You Listen

Most of my mentoring is actually just listening…not talking.

Sure, I speak up and provide input, but a lot of the time I am simply listening to what my mentee has to say. And I think this is so, so important.

Listening, like actually actively listening, is a skill that a lot of people don’t have.

When was the last time you listened to someone without simultaneously thinking about what you were going to say back to them?

I know I do this. Sometimes I can miss half of what someone is saying because I am so busy in my own head trying to come up with a response.

Being a mentor is teaching me that sometimes you don’t need to immediately come up with an answer. Sometimes you just need to listen to your mentee.

Because I am still a relatively recent grad and only have a few years under my belt work wise, I basically still feel like a student half the time. I definitely don’t have solutions to every problem my mentees bring up. In fact, sometimes they bring up something that I still struggle with myself.

And I actually think that’s a good thing.

If I am not actively listening and I am just trying to come up with the “mentor answer,” I might completely miss the actual problem they are having. I might even miss a solution or perspective they have that could help me with something I am dealing with myself.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Also, sometimes the people I mentor just want someone to listen to them.

Grad school can be incredibly isolating. You might spend most of your day, or even most of your week, working alone on something that only a handful of people in the entire world fully understand.

Sometimes people just want human contact.

Sometimes they just want someone to hear them.

And sometimes, that might be the most important thing you can give them.

Lastly: Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

Mentoring has been amazing and has honestly given me quite a bit of purpose in my life.

I work a ton, I am alone a lot, and sometimes I feel like the days are all the same and I am just waiting to get to the weekend.

That sounds rough, but sometimes that’s just how it is.

Being a mentor has provided some excitement and a break in that monotony. Being able to talk to different people, hear their stories, provide input, watch them succeed, and even occasionally get an authorship on their papers :p makes things exciting.

But more importantly, there is something really fulfilling about helping someone who is going through something that you already went through.

Also, helping the next generation is literally how we keep going as a species.

Providing guidance, encouragement, and mentorship is how we help create the next generation of great minds. The people who helped us along the way gave us something incredibly valuable, and eventually, I think we have a responsibility to turn around and do the same thing for someone else.

Mentoring actually reminds me a lot of Good Will Hunting.

You have the professor who is constantly pushing Will to use his intelligence and become something great, but the true mentor in the movie is Robin Williams’ character, Sean.

He listens.

He provides guidance.

He supports Will.

And, most importantly, he actually understands what Will is going through.

In the end, Will doesn’t take the fancy job everyone expects him to take. Instead, he goes to California to be with Skylar. But he makes that decision after working through an enormous amount of his past trauma and figuring out what he actually wants from his life.

And the relationship isn’t completely one sided either. Sean changes because of Will, too.

I think that’s one of the coolest things about mentorship.

You go into it thinking that you’re going to help someone else, and then you realize that they might actually be helping you, too.

Final Thought

Become a mentor.

Seriously.

Help the next generation of great minds become the best they can be.

You don’t need to have 30 years of experience. You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to be some incredibly successful person who has everything figured out.

Sometimes you just need to have gone through something before someone else has.

Listen to them. Share what you learned. Tell them about your mistakes. Encourage them when that little voice in their head tells them they aren’t good enough.

Mentoring is honestly one of the best and most fulfilling things I have been able to do.

And who knows?

You might help someone else figure things out while figuring out a few things about yourself along the way.