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Being in the age of technology is both a blessing and a curse. I mean, think about all of the amazing thigs that you can do on the computer and on your phone! Like holy cow, you can literally do your banking, tweet at a celebrity, tell your vacuum where to go, and you can even tell a Tesla to pick you up from where you are. Like holy smokes! Unfortunately, technology also has introduced us to highlight reels of everyone through social media. No one, well I know a small few, will put up what they are really going through on social media. No, it’s always the best things that are happening in their lives.
It is cool to post stuff like that and I do want to see your trip to Thailand or Russia or anywhere. I really do. But I know that it’s going to make me a bit jealous. This is why it’s important to stay off social media for a bit, sometimes, just so you don’t that jealousy. Staying off social media sometimes also brings us to todays topic. It takes away a platform where you compare yourself to others.
Stop comparing yourself, please
I don’t want to go too much into detail why staying off social media or any platform where you are comparing yourself to other’s highlight reel is common. No, today, I want to encourage you to practice not comparing yourself to others in general. It is so easy these days to look down upon yourself and beat yourself up for not having a mansion or a cool car or a rich husband or wife. It is so easy to beat yourself up for mot being the smartest or the best looking. But know that everyone feels bad about something and get jealous when someone else has what they want.
In grad school, the first two or three years are filled with self doubt and comparison. In fact, those are major signs of imposter syndrome which I have written about here. Grad school is one big competition to see who is the smartest, produces the most papers, and graduates without mental health issues. I constantly look at my peers and wish I was as smart as them or productive as them, and you know what, they look at me the same way. I have been told multiple times by those I am envious of that they are envious of my work habits and intelligence. It always makes me feel weird to know that my own thoughts are betraying me. Who would have guessed lol?
I want to suggest a few ways in which you can stop comparing yourself to other’s, especially for those in grad school.
Ways to stop comparing yourself to others
1) List out all of the things you are grateful for.
This is a great opportunity to really find out all of the things in your life that you are grateful for. Many people do not have what you have. Write down all of the things in your life that you have, love, a house, a car, the ability to go to the grocery store and get food, even just the fact you can talk to a complete stranger on the phone without having a panic attack. Write it all down and read it every day. You will start to notice that those things that other people have just don’t satisfy what you want in life anymore.
2) Understand that you are not the richest, smartest, best looking, or funniest person in the world and be happy with who you are.
Though you may want to be these things, understand that you aren’t all of these things and that’s ok. Be happy with who you are. Being happy with how you are now is probably the only thing that I wish I was good at. People go their whole lives not being happy with themselves because they aren’t like those people who have money or are smart. It honestly makes me sad because they will always be suffering until they figure out that being happy with who you are is the only way to break that cycle.
3) Focus on your strengths
Everyone is good/great at something. Focus on that! You may really stink at being a writer but you are a math wiz. Don’t spend all of your time being sad because you aren’t writing the next Harry Potter. No, use the gift that you are given to advance mathematics. Same with literally anything that you are good at. Use your skills and strengths to help benefit the world.
4) Celebrate other people! Don’t be upset with their highlights
Celebrating people’s achievements instead of wishing you were them is a great way to show kindness, love, and compassion to others . You have no clue what that person had to do in order to get to where they got. Celebrate them and stop wishing you had what they have. Be happy for their accomplishments.
Comparing yourself to others will cause more pain in your life than you can ever imagine. It may cause anxiety, depression, worrying, body dysmorphia, and all types of mental health issues. Practice pinpointing strength in your life and being more grateful for what you have. Happiness is something that we all crave and I think you can get there if you just stop comparing yourself to others.
I hope you all find something to be grateful for today. Also, be kind. It is hard enough these days with Covid. We need to be nicer to each other and lift each other up instead of putting each other down. Also, stay off social media lol. I appreciate you all. Have a wonderful day.
**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online–Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed. Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.