relationships Archives - MINDFULNESS IN GRAD SCHOOLMINDFULNESS IN GRAD SCHOOL

Ah, the wonderful years of dating grad students lol. If you haven’t experienced it, you’re truly missing out. Grad school is intense and sdating is one of these things that can be quite tricky when you are in grad school. I have written about dating in grad school. You can check that blog post out here. Today, I want to tell you a little about dating a law student!

Yes, law school is difficult, time consuming, soul crushing, and everything else you can say that makes it sound terrible. Law students and engineering students are very closely related, neither of them stop studying. Also, neither get a decent amount of sleep. I am not going to talk about dating an engineer today. I can in future posts if you want me to talk about that. Let me know in the comments. No, today, I want to discuss what you are likely to experience while dating a law student. It isn’t as bad as it sounds.

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The Good Things about Dating a Law Student

There are so many good things about dating a lawyer/law student. I want to discuss a few of those in this post, then I will dive into the challenges of dating a law student after this. I will then follow up with some tips and how to make sure that the relationship lasts during these really intense years. Let’s get started with the goof things.

1) You significant other is making a good decision, not just for them, but for both of you

This is mainly for people that are currently in a relationship with a law student. The choice to go to law school is a very difficult yet highly rewarding one. Lawyers make a decent living and they are some of the hardest working and smartest people out there. The choice to go to law school and become a lawyer or work in law is a very lucrative one. Your significant other will make a good living which means you’ll probably be well off as well. There are some exceptions of course, but for the most part, you both will be just fine.

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2) You are dating someone that will have a lot to talk about

This is great because dating a law student comes with some interesting things that you will learn and even some juicy gossip too. While in law school, my girlfriend always brought up all of the cool things that she learned as well as the fun things that were going on un her class. There was a ton of cool drama that I just didn’t experience while working full time. I also learned about interesting cases as well as a ton of interesting laws. Law school really provided her with a ton of cool and interesting things to talk about.

3) Law Students are smart

This is always a plus because you can have really meaningful and in depth conversations with them. The amount pf knowledge that law students have is incredible and you will learn so much from them. Just be careful and not try and correct them. Remember, they are learning how to argue in college lol. Dating someone that is very intelligent is a great way to learn more and educate yourself even more. They are also very good to show off at parties lol.

4) You can show them off to your friends

Law students are great to bring home to family. When my parents found out that my girlfriend was going to law school, you could see how impressed they were. My friends were also extremely impressed as well. It is always fun to be able to show off that my girlfriend was a law student. Now, she’s an actual lawyer, which makes showing her off even easier. lol.

5) They can help you stay out of trouble.

The best part about dating a law student is asking legal advice without having to pay lol. You can also find out if what you are doing is illegal, though I would assume that you aren’t purposefully trying to do illegal things, right? If I ever needed some legal help or to see if what I found online was actually legitimate, I would ask my girlfriend. She knew the laws better than anyone I knew, which made it great. It saved valuable time too since I could just ask her something and she would have the answer.

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The Hardships of Dating a Law Student

Of course, whenever there is good, there will be bad. Dating a law student can be extremely rewarding, but I promise you that it will be fairly hard as well. They are busy people and the amount of work and stress that have in their lives can make the relationship fairly difficult. Hold tight though, I promise you that it’s worth it.

1) They probably won’t spend the weekends outside of the library

At the beginning of the semester, you’ll have a bit more free time to hang with them. But towards the middle and end, they’ll be in the library. The thing that really stinks about law school are the exams at the end and the competitiveness of law school. See, I only compete with myself. There are hardships in my program but at least I don’t have to compete with others just to pass a class. In law school, it’s all about out competing, out studying, out performing your colleague. This makes it hard because you will need to put in the work. When dating a law student, you have to realize that they are studying so much so they pass the class and don’t have someone else set the curve which gives them a failing grade.

Towards the end of the semester, they will be working non stop and doing a ton of readings. You may not see them for weeks, which can make things quite difficult. Unfortunately, this is how it is.

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2) There will be moments of overwhelming stress that you might have to deal with

Law school can make people lose their cool really quickly. If you are dating a law student, they might blow up on you because they are overwhelmed at the moment and are having a hard time coping. When you are under so much pressure, no matter how well you usually cope, you’re bound to have at least one outburst. It sucks, but it happens. Sometimes the best thing to do is stay out of the way or get your significant other some food. Show your support but know that at any moment, your head might be ripped off lol.

3) You might be sick and tired of hearing about cases and laws

I never want to hear about Torts again. Heck, I don’t even know what it is but I know it’s god awful. A law student has one job, learn to be a good lawyer and learn about the laws that are out there. So, that’s their life for three years and that is what they will most likely talk about 24/7. It’s cool at first but all good things come to an end. I can’t complain though because my girlfriend has to hear me talk about my research all of the time lol.

Just know that you are going to learn about stuff that you really won’t care about, but that’s the life of dating a law student. Just be happy that they haven’t found a way to send you to jail lol.

4) School will come first

You might feel like you are second to school. That is, because you are. Law school should be their number one priority and that might make you number two, hopefully not number three. It’s hard to handle this and may come as a shocker, especially if you just started dating them. Trust me, it is worth it and you will be back to number one, during summer and after the bar exam. Be grateful that they have incorporated you into their crazy lives. Just having you there means a ton. They are trying their hardest to be a significant other and a student. Of course, they will probably put their studies before you most of the time. This is why this is included in the hardships section.

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Tips for dating a law student

Here are a few tips when dating a law student. I have done it, so I know what I am talking about. Well, mostly know what I am talking about lol. Anyway, here are a few tips that can help you during the three years of law school.

Learn to cook and cook for them often.
You do not need to stay up at night with them while they study. They will be studying for a while. Get some rest.
Encourage them to go on walks with you every so often. Let them know that there is more that their books.
Just listen to them when they rant. Sometimes they just need to get it all out.
Don’t get caught up in their stress. Just because they are stressed does not mean you have to be.
Encourage them to find an outlet other than alcohol. Self explanatory.
Understand that it will pass. Assure them that it will pass and they will reach their goals.
Be supportive
Big one!!!! Don’t say that law school is easy. Never do this.
Celebrate the small wins.

Final Thoughts

Dating a law student can be difficult yet very rewarding. Your relationship will see all sorts of ups and downs and you’ll grow stronger together. Law school is almost like travelling with someone. You will see the best of them and the worst. Keep at it and don’t give up.

I hope this was a decent post. If you haven’t read my blog about the best gifts for grad students, I suggest taking a look (link here). These ideas are great for law student s as well. As always, I hope you all have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next one. Adios!

I am quite surprised that I have not covered this topic much sooner. This is a huge subject that hopefully I will be able to do justice. Dating in grad school can be a wonderful, difficult, frustrating, exciting, and overall fun experience. Yes, it will require a ton of work, and some patience, but it is do-able. I have had many friends date in grad school and I am currently dating a wonderful lawyer now. Yes, you can even date lawyers lol.

As I said above, it can be frustrating, exciting, and totally worth it. In some cases it might not be the best idea to date in grad school. Sometimes, you will be so bogged down with work that you won’t be able to put in any effort to make things work. For the most part, I truly believe that dating in grad school is very possible, though it might be difficult in some ways which I will discuss. Also, here’s a helpful guide to those thinking about dating a grad student lol.

How Dating in Grad School is difficult

Time

So, I want to start off with the difficult aspects of dating in grad school. The first real hurdle to bypass is dealing with your workload and having time to develop a relationship with an individual. If you are constantly working, you won’t have time to really see the other person and really bond with them. This can lead to many failed attempts at getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Grad school is busy, and can be overwhelming at times, which makes finding time to see and hang with someone difficult.

Age Difference

Age can play an important role in dating. Grad students are usually a bit older than undergrads so they may tend to date outside of the college. I know many people that have a hard time because the vast majority of college students are much younger than them and they have a hard time relating to undergrads. Age definitely is a factor when dating in grad school.

Not being able to connect with others

Grad students are pretty much from another planet. We thrive off of failure and low p-values. The stuff that we talk about, thinking it’s trivial, might be so complex for non grad students. This often makes it very hard to connect with people. Our problems that we face are not normal problems either. Dealing with lab equipment failing, loneliness, depression, low wages, and rejections from journals might not be the most common problems to connect with people over. This can make dating other people a bit difficult because you can’t really bond over problems. Yeah bonding over problems is a real thing lol.

People are always coming and going

If you are in a doctoral program, you will be in school for a minimum of 5 years after undergrad. That’s a long time in the academic world. You are going to see students come in as freshman and leave before you even get your first paper published. This is why dating is very hard. People tend to come and go so much and long distance relationships are quite difficult to have while in grad school. It is not like you ca get up and go with someone to a new town and just continue your research. In some cases you can, but for people that require a lab, it’s impossible. This is why it’s very hard to date, especially when you’re significant other is done with college and looking for jobs or moving away.

Benefits of Dating in Grad School

Trust me when I tell you, dating in grad school is doable. It has a ton of benefits as well and I am very happy that I am in a relationship while going through this process.

Support

The support I receive from my girlfriend is one of the reasons I haven’t given up. I’ve been in grad school for 5 years and I’ve been in college for almost 11. I need the support. Having someone in grad school that supports you can be the difference between giving up and graduating. Of course you can finish without having the support of a significant other. I’m saying that it makes it a bit easier. Also, having someone else in your life can help with financial support. Something we all need lol.

It helps take your mind off work

I want everyone to know that working all of the time is toxic and a terrible idea! Dating in grad school gives you a really good excuse to leave all of your work at work and go and enjoy yourself. If you are just starting the dating process, go to as many fun things as possible. Go to the movies, dinner, shows, etc. Leave all of your work worries in your office and go enjoy yourself and the company of someone else. You’ll start to notice that you’re happier and you’ll probably do better in your research and school work.

You’ll feel less lonely

If you haven’t read my blog about feeling lonely in grad school, I highly suggest checking it out. Here is a link to that. One of the things you will definitely experience in grad school is feeling lonely. Dating in grad school will help that a ton. It’s nice to be able to come home and talk with someone about your day. Often grad students don’t get that opportunity because they are in the lab all day then go home to an empty apartment. It can get quite lonely. Having someone to see after a long day by yourself can really make your whole day. It can also help combat depression and anxiety.

So is it worth it to Date in Grad School

Coming from someone who has been in a 6 year relationship, yes it is worth it. In fact I was dating my girlfriend while she went to grad school and now she is here to support me through my experience. It can be done. The best part is being able to have someone there for the support. I truly think that that support is what is keeping me here.

It may take a bit of effort and time but I think dating in grad school is totally worth it and a great way to spend your free time. Being able to spend the time you have with someone you like or love is time well spent.

Final Thoughts

What was your experience with dating in grad school? Did you enjoy it? Are you still with the individual you dated? Would you advise people to date in grad school? Let me know in the comments. As always, I hope you have a great day! Until next time, peace!