Grad School Stress: How to Relieve it?

Posted on July 14, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post about relieving grad school stress may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

I wouldn’t write this blog unless I was in a stressful situation. I have quite a few things going on in my life so I thought I would share what I do to reduce the stress and become way more productive. Stress can cause all forms of problems, so reducing it is key to a happier and healthier life.

In grad school, you are going to experience moments of extremes stress. The end of the year, for example, is always a very stressful time. Creating good habits to manage that stress can allow you to be able to combat the stressful situation when the time comes. Today, I want to bring up the 16 different methods that I use to relieve stress during grad school.

If you are in grad school, lease take the time to invest in a great stress reliever. It will save you so much frustration and keep you going for the long haul. Trust me when I say, having one of these or all of these in your stress reduction tool belt is essential to survive nd thrive in academia. So, let us get into the list of stress relievers for grad school.

Here’s a list of things you can do to relieve grad school stress

1. Exercise at the gym.

This is my go to when it comes to relieving stress. Honestly, just working out with some loud music and heavy weights is the perfect way to put yourself in a great mood. It pumps up your endorphins and puts you in a fantastic mood. Get moving guys! I know you might not have time but you can always make time!

2.Meditate

Meditation doesn’t have to be an hour long event. When you start feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed in grad school, take a 5 to 10 minute break and just breath. Stay off your phone unless you using a mediation app or YouTube meditation sessions. 10 minutes is all it takes and you will immediately see a difference. I do this quite often and it has helped manage the stress and my blood pressure lol.

3.Put on classical music or Lo-fi music

When you have a deadline to hit, you need to focus. Nothing beats the power of classical or Lo-fi music to help you out. I love Heavy Rain Lofi. Here is a link to YouTube where you can explore those channels. For some odd reason (probably backed by science), this music just keeps you calm and reduces stress a ton. Try it out and see if it works for you.

4.Drink less caffeine.

Here me out on this one. Yes, caffeine is amazing but it will drive up your anxiety like no other. The amount fo stress you will feel when caffeinated is way more than you would feel with little caffeine. I am not saying to completely cut it out of your diet. Well, if you can, that’s great. I am saying that in high stress times, try and limit the amount or be mindful of the amount that you are drinking. If you normally drink a cup or two of coffee, limit yourself to only that. Any more might cause your stress to sky rocket.

5. Read an article with something happy in it.

Sometimes when I am stressed, I get cranky. I look at life in a negative manner and don’t really see any joy. One weirrd way of reducing stress for me at least is to read an article with something joyful and happy. News articles are always so negative and being stressed at the same time can lead to a badddddd day/week. Try and read an article from a website like HappyNews.com.

6. Follow my breathe.

If you really don’t have enough time to meditate, just try following the breathe for a bit. It is a similar practice to meditation and will definitely calm you down. Take a deep breath in, hold it for 4 seconds, then slowly breath out. Do this a few time and you’ll be slightly less stressed than before. This works well with anxiety as well.

7. Remind yourself that “This too will pass”

Stressful times come and go. It is often very hard to know when the stress in grad school will pass. Just know that it will and remind yourself that it will pass. Stress is a temporary condition that will inevitably pass on it’s own or when something is complete. Remind yourself to hold off until then and this bad time will subside.

8. Watch the scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams and Matt Damon are at the park.

Kind of a weird thing but when I am stressed, I like to watch comforting scenes from movies. I like to completely remove myself from whatever situation I am in and feel comforted in something that is not grad school. I love the movie Good Will Hunting, so I watch scenes from the movie. This often really helps to ground me and not get overwhelmed with stressful thoughts.

9. Watch Good Will Hunting if I have the time lol

I know people that watch whole movies to reduce stress. They are so overwhelmed with things that it makes them freeze almost and they can’t do anything. If you can afford to, and not on a strict deadline, watch a movie. Stay off your phone and just immerse yourself in whatever movie it is. Of course, my go to is Good Will Hunting. Man, it’s just so good.

10. Remind yourself to look for the learning experience or the good that comes from the stressful situation.

Every stressful situation is a way to learn. Make the stressful situation a positive learning experience and you will see that the stress tends to be reduced. Look at all experiences that are difficult a way to learn a new skill or just learn how to manage stress or what methods work.

11.Call up someone to just talk to.

I find that friends and family are great stress outlets. Don’t do this all of the time though. It will help when you are not constantly going to them for stress relief. Call up a friend or relative and just explain to them that you’re stress and need either advice or just someone to talk to. For a brief moment in your life, focus on talking to them and removing yourself from the stress. If you are stuck on something, maybe they will have answers. If nothing else, at least you got to build a good relationship with them by staying in contact!

12. Go on frequent, short, walks

This is my all-time favorite thing to do when I am stressed. I walk so much that I found walking challenges to do just to encourage me to walk even more lol. I also like medals. If you want to know more about the walking challenges, here’s a link to that page. Anyway, going on walks is a magnificent way to reduce grad school stress. It is similar to exercising but you don’t have to push yourself too hard. You can even meditate while walking or focus on your breathe. Both of those things I do. Plus, you get your steps in lol.

13. Pushups

Don’t have time to go on walks, meditate, breath, or anything else? Just do 10 pushups. Go ahead, do them in the office or lab. They are easy to do, you get more exercise, and you will notice that you won’t have time to be stressed while trying to focus on not dying lol. Push ups are a quick and easy way to just reduce a bit of stress that you might feel during the day. Try it out and see if it helps.

14. Get plenty of sleep

I think that most of the stress we feel comes from being overworked and overwhelmed with the ideas of work. This can often be amplified by sleep deprivation. Yes, you want to relax at night and watch TV. Next thing you know, it’s 12 am and you have to get to class in 8 hours. That leaves you with probably less than 8 hours of sleep. Get to bed earlier. Just try it for a few days and you will see that your stress gets reduced and you will work more efficiently. Instead of being at the lab until 9, you’ll get to leave at 6. There will be much less stress.

15. Cook Something or bake something

This one can be helpful and a bit dangerous. If you are so stressed, take the time to bake some comfort food. Make cookies, a cake, anything. Bring some for your lab mates too. They are stressed and need some love as well. Try and not do this all of the time. Many stressed people often resort to stress cooking and then stress eating. It is a vicious cycle that you don’t want to get stuck in. I added this because it is a great way to remove yourself from a stressful situation and relieve that grad school stress.

16. Stop Thinking, Start Doing

The hardest and most stressful part about anything is thinking about it and all of the work that needs to be done to get it finished. This can make things so stressful and even more so when you find out that you have less time to accomplish it because you spent all that time thinking about it. To tackle the stress, you must tackle the stressor. If you have a presentation to make, do it! Focus on getting it done and stop thinking about it. The quicker you finsih it, the less stressed you will be.

Final Thoughts

This was a pretty long list of things to relieve stress in grad school, but I know you can find something in there that will help you. Let me know what you do to reduce stress. I would love to add more to this list. As always, I hope you guys have an amazing and stress free day. I will see you all in the next one. Peace.

**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online-Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed. Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.

How I Deal With FAILURE!!!

Posted on July 9, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I want to start off this blog telling you that I do not believe that there is such thing as failure when you have tried to do something. True failure comes from not even trying in the first place due to fear of not getting the result you want. People that tell you that they failed an exam, failed a marriage, failed really anything are not actually failing. Ok sorry to be redundant with all of the “failures” lol.

So why did I name this blog “How I Deal With Failure”? It’s because most people would rather see that than something like “How I deal With Finding Out a Different Way of Doing Something Because the Results Did Not Turn Out the Way I Planned”. It’s a mouth full isn’t it?

So let me tell you how I go about dealing with a situation that I was not expecting, or one that I did not like. I simply learn something from it. I have gone through a ton of therapy and have listened to a ridiculous amount of Buddhist talks to change my way of looking at “failures”. They are all learning experiences which means that they aren’t failures at all. Sure, you may have failed an exam, but you learned that the method of studying that you did wasn’t right. Sure, your marriage didn’t go as planned, but you learned that you were not in the right relationship. Sure, I failed an experiment and managed to spill leaded water all over the place, probably causing me to ingest the same concentrations of lead that were found in Flint, Michigan’s water, but I learned that I need to be more careful when it comes to things like that.

The only true failure is when you just don’t try. I tell people all of the time to just try and do something even though they “know for a fact that it will go bad”. The future is completely uncertain and you never know what will happen. I see how my thoughts stop me from even trying something, but I will force myself to do it, and then it turns out it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

By changing your mindset, and I believe this is a major part of cognitive behavioral therapy, you will see that failures do not exist. You you happen to screw up pretty badly, learn at least one thing from it. If you embarrass yourself and call that a failure, laugh about it and make it into a funny memory. Life is way too short to not take risks and worry about failure. I am learning a great deal about not being afraid to fail in grad school. I have been told “no” so many times and I have messed up more times than not, and you know what? I learn something each time and I continue on. I grow from these experiences and you will too. It’s a long process, but my God, it is life changing.

How to Deal With Failure in Grad School

Posted on July 9, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I want to start off this blog telling you that I do not believe that there is such thing as failure when you have tried to do something. True failure in grad school comes from not even trying in the first place due to fear of not getting the result you want. People that tell you that they failed an exam, failed a marriage, failed really anything are not actually failing. Ok sorry to be redundant with all of the “failures” lol.

So why did I name this blog “How to Deal With Failure in Grad School”? It’s because most people would rather see that than something like “How I deal With Finding Out a Different Way of Doing Something Because the Results Did Not Turn Out the Way I Planned”. It’s a mouth full isn’t it?

You Have to Learn from Failure in Grad School

Sure, I failed an experiment and managed to spill leaded water all over the place, probably causing me to ingest the same concentrations of lead that were found in Flint, Michigan’s water, but I learned that I need to be more careful when it comes to things like that.

The fact of the matter is you need to learn something from each “failure” that you have. If you haven’t at least learned one thing, than that could be called a failure as well. Listen, grad school will make you feel like everything that you do is a failure. Sure, your experiments didn’t go as planned, but if you pay attention, you would have learned how the experiment didn’t go as planned. You learned what not to do and you won’t make that mistake again. See how you can use each failure in grad school as a learning experience?

You Have to Try

The only true failure in grad school is when you just don’t try. I tell people all of the time to just try and do something even though they “know for a fact that it will go bad”. The future is completely uncertain and you never know what will happen. I see how my thoughts stop me from even trying something, but I will force myself to do it, and then it turns out it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Many people are just too afraid of the failure process so they don’t even attempt to do what they are so worried they will fail at it. You know what every expert ever did? They failed more than they succeeded. They failed so much until they eventually got it right. They might have been afraid to fail but they went about trying anyway.

One thing that I hear all of the time is “what if I get it wrong?” This is especially true when dealing with grad courses. People are afraid to try new things because they might not get it right the first time. That is true failure. Just not trying because you “know you will fail.” This mindset causes all sorts of problems later and it creates a ton of anxiety, trust me.

As I have touch upon in my blog about doing things that scare you (link here), just trying something, even if its scary, will help you succeed. You will get to a point where failing doesn’t affect you. You’ll be numb to that awkward feeling after failing. But, you have to try it, even if it’s scary.

Overall

By changing your mindset, and I believe this is a major part of cognitive behavioral therapy, you will see that failures do not exist. You you happen to screw up pretty badly, learn at least one thing from it. If you embarrass yourself and call that a failure, laugh about it and make it into a funny memory. Life is way too short to not take risks and worry about failure. Luckily, I am learning a great deal about not being afraid to fail in grad school. I have been told “no” so many times and I have messed up more times than not, and you know what? I learn something each time and I continue on. It is an experience to grow from these experiences. It’s a long process, but my God, it is life changing.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with failure in grad school is hard, I get it. It is, however, essential. The things you are working on and will be working on might be brand new in this world. You might be working on some novel idea that may change history. You think you’ll get everything perfect? Probably not lol. See, the mistakes are where you learn the most and those mistakes might not even be mistakes. I find that when I mess up, something cool comes from it. Changing your mindset about what a failure is is a great way to overcome the fear of it.

I hope you guys understand what I am trying to get across. Don’t be afraid to fail in grad school. Embrace the suck and realize that each “failure” is a great opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. I promise you that changing your mindset about failure in grad school will drastically improve the way you go about experiments and research. Don’t be afraid to fail. I hope you all have a wonderful day and week. Let me know how failure has helped you out and made you a better person. Peace!

A Story to Help: Perfectionism

Posted on July 8, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I wanted to share with everyone a story by the world famous, Ajahn Brahm. It has helped significantly because it changed my perception of many of the thoughts I have on a daily basis. I, like many grad students, suffer from perfectionism. This has caused me to not finish projects on time, get rejected from things, and has caused more anxiety in my life than pretty much anything else. I do still strive for the best quality but sometimes I just say it’s good and move on.

So monks tend to build their own monasteries because it is super expensive to get a contractor, and monks don’t have money. Anyway, a Buddhist monk was laying brick to build a wall. He had to learn how to lay brick since it’s really not as easy as the YouTube videos make it seem. After a very long time, the monk was finished. He stepped back to admire his work when he noticed two bricks that were a little out of place. He was furious, enough to go to the abbot and ask for him to knock down the wall so he could rebuild it. That was not going to happen, he had to live with the bricks. Every day the monk walked by that wall, and every day he suffered from having to look at those bricks. The monk didn’t even want people to look at it since he was so ashamed. Until one day, a man was visiting the monastery and was looking at the wall. The monk approached the man who was just entranced by the wall. The man told the monk how beautiful the wall was and how much he admired it. The monk was confused and told the man it wasn’t perfect and there were two very bad bricks. The man looked back at the monk as said “Yes, there are two bad bricks, but I see the 998 good bricks too”.

Sometimes we get so caught up in seeing the “imperfections” in life that we forget that there is so much perfection around as well. This story really made me think about how I get so much anxiety from things I don’t think are perfect that I forget that I do so many good things alongside those not-so-perfect tasks or items. Making mistakes is life and you are human. Plus, those imperfections are not imperfections at all. They are “features” and those features are what make us individuals and beautiful. The next time you doubt yourself or put yourself down for not being “good enough”, look for the 998 good features that you have. I guarantee that you will have a less anxious time and definitely more happiness in your life.

Coffee for College

Posted on July 1, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post about Coffee for College may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

You must be here because you have an addiction to coffee. College and coffee just totally go together, right? I, too, have an addiction and man is it bad. It’s not quite to the point of an intervention, but I would say it’s close. See coffee is what makes us “normal”. The caffeine is what allows me to write these posts each morning and still be in a good mood to tell everyone “Good morning” as they pass by my office. Unfortunately, coffee can be expensive if you buy it. We have maybe 10 Starbucks on campus and a handful of other coffee shops around campus. You can find it everywhere, but at $4 for an iced coffee, I need to look elsewhere.

Today’s blog will be a bit short but I just wanted to share a few of my favorite coffee items for college students and grad students. I do not drink hot coffee. Frankly, I hate warm or hot beverages (I know, I’m weird). I also just drink black coffee so I can reduce calories as well as I like bitter drinks. I even drink iced tea without sugar. Anyway, here are a few of my favorite coffees that I think you need to have in grad school, especially if you are on a budget.

Best Coffee Items For College Students

I want to start this list of best coffee and coffee items for college students with one of my favorites. You have to start your journey with a coffee maker and the one I talk about it the exact one in my office. I haven’t had any trouble with it and it has been amazing. Coffee for the broke college kid doesn’t have to mean expensive either.

1) Sboly Single Serve Coffee maker (Link Here)

So I have to start with the coffee maker I have. This coffee make brews single cups, up to 14 oz and takes both k-cups as well as ground coffee. I highly recommend getting one, but if not, a French press like this is absolutely perfect. This initial cost is a bit much but you get your money’s worth in no time, I promise. Ok let’s get to coffee.

2) French Vanilla Coffee from Dunkin’ (Link Here)

French vanilla coffee is the superior coffee. OMG!! It’s amazing iced, hot (my girlfriend likes hot coffee so she told me it’s good), with creamer, with sugar, literally any way you want. I highly recommend this one.

3) SF Bay Coffee OneCUP (Link Here)

My mother buys this brand and I think it is just so darn good. They are K-cups, but compostable one’s so they are better than the plastic ones. The flavor is really good as well and they are fairly cheap. Definitely a good choice if you have a Keurig or Sboly coffee maker.

4) DEATH WISH COFFEE (Link Here)

So sometimes you have to really get up and going. This is the coffee for you. I promise that you will not need more than half a cup of this stuff to get yourself ready for the day (and even to the gym). This stuff is potent and the flavor is really good. It’s is a bit expensive for the package but well worth it. If you find coffee a bit weak, try this. The caffeine is extremely high and will do a great job of waking you up. Beware of the crash in the afternoon though lol.

5) Coffee Pods Variety Pack Sampler (Link Here)

I put this one as last because I wanted to end with a fun one. This is a variety pack of coffees that includes pretty much every flavor of coffee that you can imagine. It’s about 60 cents per pod, so a bit expensive, but you can try different flavors then buy the flavor you like the most directly. This variety pack can only be used with a Keurig type coffee maker so you need one of those. I believe some of the flavors included also come in ground form so you can get them for your coffee maker or French press too. I bought this for my mom for mother’s day and she loved it. She was able to determine her favorite flavors and I believe bought a few more of those flavors. It was definitely a good gift (lol).

6) Coffee Du Monde – 15 oz. cans (Link Here)

Do you dream of New Orleans as much as I do? No? Yes? Maybe? lol. If you have ever been there, you have probably stopped by Café Du Monde to pick up a bag of beignets and to also have some coffee. I was given one of these coffee cans as a present and I think I used it up in about a week. That was the most caffeinated I think I have even been. The coffee is just so good. I made beignets too and pretended that I was back in New Orleans.

This is a great coffee to have at college because you can share with those that might want to feel like they are in New Orleans. You can be a nice person in this case lol. Plus, coffee is a great way to bond with people over. Getting this and making some coffee in your dorms might entice people to come over and talk to you. Such a great way to make friends.

Final Thoughts

I hope this has helped a little. As I said grad school and coffee just go together. It’s a fact! Hopefully you had some coffee prior to reading this so it didn’t put you to sleep. I am heading off to get some coffee right now and start my day in the lab. Thank you for reading and I will catch you in the next blog. Peace!

Also, If you would like to subscribe to my email list, I would greatly appreciate that. Once I start getting a decent amount of peopl, I’ll start offering some sweet services to you guys.

Writing Your Literature Review

Posted on June 30, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I think one of the most stressful portions of grad school is writing academic papers. You want perfection when all you hear from everyone is “just get it done, it doesn’t have to be perfect.” I hated hearing this because I wanted all of my papers to be perfect., but what even is perfection? That may be another blog post to be honest. This post is about writing a literature review and going in for publication.

I submitted my manuscript to a journal in May, I believe (this year has been weird and my days and months are out of whack). We received comments in June and resubmitted three weeks later. I am waiting to hear back from the editor to see if I will be a published author or not. Hopefully I am.

This blog is about the process of writing such a monster of a paper. I believe I had 65-70 pages at the very end. Probably 30 of those pages were references though. I counted over 200 references when I was finished. Yes, it was a beast and very scary, but you can totally do it and have fun while skimming through articles for hours. Here’s a list of how I went about writing my lit review.

Blank paper with pen and coffee cup on wood table

Ways to make the best Literature Review

1. Create a skeleton

You need a basic outline of what you want to include and where sections will go. Remember, literature reviews are trying to bring as much knowledge about a subject into one paper. It needs to have flow and tell a scientific story. What I mean by this is you want to tell the reader why your future research will be important due to a lack of knowledge in the field you are working on. Also, you want the reader engaged since this is a very long chapter of your dissertation. Having an outline will keep the paper organized, it will help you find specific papers to use, and it will make it engaging to the reader.

2. Just write and don’t go for perfection at first

It is much easier to just write than to think about writing. Writing a literature review is just about getting the words on paper. I often put off writing because I think that I can just do it later when I have motivation. I then spend hours or days thinking about the writing I have to do and it’s torture. Don’t do this, just write. This paper is long and you will need to put in time. It’s way easier to write a little everyday than to cram it in last minute and hope that it makes sense. Plus, your first draft will most likely suck. You will re-write sections multiple times and never be satisfied, but at least you wrote something. My first draft was absolute garbage, not going to lie. My adviser worked with me and we managed to turn something that belonged in a landfill into something that (hopefully) belongs in a journal.

3. Read, read, read

When you have all of your sections outlined, you need to start reading a ton of articles. I mean….A TON! I read about everything from lead poising in children, to quantum entanglement. My research deals with lead so how I ended up reading about quantum physics, I don’t know. But seriously, read as much as you can, and if you can, write a summary of the paper. That will help later on when you are looking for stuff to place in your lit review.

4. Be kind to yourself

Some days I would write1500 words in the span of a few hours. Other days, I would only write 200. This is normal!!! Push yourself to do the best you can but be kind to yourself when you don’t hit the crazy goals that you set for yourself. I promise you that you will finish.

5. Have your adviser review prior to submitting

My adviser had to review my paper since this was my very first manuscript to go in for publication. He added sections, subtracted sections, and rewrote quite a bit. After his revisions, it was time to go in for initial publication.

When submitting to a journal, it is extremely wise to determine if the journal you want to submit to will actually take you paper. I did a ton of research and found a decent one to send my review paper to. I went online and they have a few websites where you can upload your paper and it will give you recommendations on what journals to submit to. This is what I did and it worked fairly well. Once you find the journal, go on their web page and read everything about that journal. Make sure it has a good impact factor since you want more people to see your manuscript as well as cite it in their papers. These factors will help you get noticed and are great CV boosters. Once you submit, sit back and wait. Usually for literature reviews, you’ll get comments back a bit later. The reviewers usually go through the whole paper and read almost every citation you put in. Mine did at least.

6. Read the comments and reply

My comments were not terrible. The worst part was writing the literature review to be honest. I have heard of people reading the comments from their paper and immediately crying because the reviewers just ripped them apart. This probably won’t happen to you, though. So, read the comments, let them sort of digest and then tackle them head first. I would say a vast majority of the comments were dealing with grammatical errors and addition of some more references. If you do get crazy comments, talk with your adviser about how to address those specifically. Sometimes you may have to just fight the reviewer to keep what you have in the paper.

7. Send the comments back and wait.

This is where I am at in the process. I constantly check the journal website for any hope, but I know I need to be patient. I will update all of you when I find out the outcome. It should be any day.

Final Thoughts

Writing a literature review can be a daunting task but it doen’t have to be. Just follow the above steps and you will be fine. I promise you that. Good luck with your lit review and I hope this somewhat helped. Peace for now

What to Do When Everything Goes Wrong: Grad School

Posted on June 29, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

You will have some pretty bad days in grad school. Experiments will go wrong, you failed an exam, you forgot to pack a lunch, you get the point. I have had my fair share of extremely bad days, where everything seemed to just go wrong, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Lately, I have experienced quite a few failed experiments (I blame the ghost), pretty bad anxiety, and having my cat go in for an emergency vet visit. There’s a long list of things that go bad in my life but I am not here to rant. I am here to help you overcome these hurdles and thrive!!! I will not lie, this post is quite a difficult one but I will try my best. Just know that everyone deals with things a little bit differently, so what works for me, may not work for you. This is the beauty of trial and error. Also, this is why I love to know how people deal with these problems so I can add to the list of coping methods. Anyway, let us get started. dealing with what to do when things go wrong.

1. Acknowledge that you are having moments of hardship and tell yourself “This too shall pass.”

I love the phrase “This too shall pass” because it not only tells you that the hardship will end but that good times will end as well. I know that sounds bad but you can turn it into something good. In the tough times, it will give you hope. You have survived every hardship in your life and you will get through this. When you have good times, let yourself know that it will pass as well. You will learn to cherish the good times way more and prepare yourself for bad times. Soon you will notice that the good times last a whole lot longer and the bad moments tend to subside much quicker.

2. Remind yourself that this is part of life and you can learn something from it.

“Smooth seas don’t make skilled sailors”. You will have tough moments but look for the learning experience, look for the good in every situation. Every moment is a learning experience and will help you grow. You are a student, remember. Learning is practically your job and this is no different. Find something that you can learn about in your situation and grow from it. This lesson has helped me to reduce my mistakes significantly. When things go wrong, you will always be able to learn something from it.

3. “Look for the Honey”

Tiger Beside Green Plants Standing on Brown Land during Daytime

There is a Buddhist story about a man being chased by a tiger and falls off a cliff. https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/the-tiger-and-the-strawberry-b73de1dccf19. I have a different version that was shared with me and I will share with you now. A man was walking through the forest, when all of a sudden, a tiger jumps out and starts chasing the man. The man (obviously and Olympic runner lol) starts running as fast as he can through the forest until he gets to a cliff. The man sees a vine of the side of the cliff and grabs hold of it, hanging off. He looks down and sees a huge King Cobra below him, and above him, he sees the very hungry tiger. The man, knowing he’s going to die, starts looking for a possible way out, but can’t seem to find one.

It gets worse

All of a sudden, he sees two mice come out from a hole in the side of the cliff and start to eat away at the vine. OH NO!!!!!! The man is in a really bad situation. He looks up at the tiger and then notices that the tiger is scraping a tree, which the vine is connected to. In that tree, there was a beehive right above the man with honey flowing out every time the tiger scraped the tree. The man, not knowing what else to do, put out his tongue and caught a bit of honey that fell and it was the best tasting honey that he ever had. The end.

“But Ben, what happens next? Did the man survive? I have so many questions!!!!” I will answer all of those questions in a bit but I want to share something first. The man was in such a tough spot but he looked for something good, even when he was close to death. In situations where you are (figuratively) the man, look for the honey. Find good in everything. You are in grad school and things will get tough but know that there is always something good in every situation.

Ok, so the tiger was reaching over really far and lost his grip, falling down right on the king cobra, killing them both. On the way down, the tiger hit the vine, causing the mice to fall as well but they survived because I want some happy ending for the little woodland creatures. The man climbed up and went home to his family. He survived.

Final Thought

This brings up my last point I want to make in this blog. The future is uncertain. Sometimes we get caught up thinking that the bad times will continue. When really, we have no clue what will happen next. Bad situations can lead to surprising outcomes that you would not have thought were possible. When things go wrong, especially in grad school, reassure yourself that this may lead to something you weren’t expecting. It can lead to something possibly life changing, and man that’s exciting. To quote the greatest character, “You will have bad time, but these will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to”.

Have a great day.

My Favorite Things on Days I Feel Sad

Posted on June 26, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

Sadness comes and goes throughout life. Somedays you wake up and are just sad for no reason. Other times, something just happens to put you in a bad mood. Lately, I’ve been feeling a little down and I think it is because of how rainy it has been in Florida. I love the rain but honestly haven’t seen the sun in about 2 weeks. I am going to keep this blog post a bit shorter today and just list off about 11 things I do to get over the “slumps”. So here is a list of things I do when I feel sad. Here we go!

Sit Outside with a cup of coffee and read about coffee. I like to sip on French Vanilla or Hazelnut
Go on a walk
Just run around
Watch Harry Potter (for the 10000000000th time)
Next, Watch a Disney movie……after Harry Potter of course
Bake a dessert
Call up a relative or friend to talk
Go on the internet and blog for people
Read all of the amazing comments that people have for said blogs
Count all of my blessing and really be grateful for what I have
Talk to my Therapist.
Find ways to motivate myself. I have been trying Ineedmotivation.com

Bonus: Play with 2 very cute puppies that refuse to fall asleep (What I am currently doing)

There are probably a million other things that help to bring me out of a sad mood but these puppies are just so darn cute and I can’t think of anything else. What do you guys do when you are sad? Let me know in the comments.

How To Handle Anxiety in Grad School

Posted on June 24, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post about anxiety in grad school may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

I used to have to see a therapist because my anxiety was getting way too bad. Fortunately, my health insurance covered the use of Talkspace for no additional cost, and I took full advantage of that. Another great site to use in Online-Therapy. I highly recommend either Talkspace or Online-Therapy. My therapist was so helpful and really changed the way that I look at anxiety. She told me that there are a few things that you should always do when having a panic attack, and I would like to share these with you guys. These are 5 methods that have helped me deal with anxiety.

5 Ways to Handle Your Anxiety in Grad School

I am not a therapist but I did go to therapy for a year because my anxiety was too much to bare in grad school. I would have trouble concentrating,. Also, I would essentially worry about everything and it was affecting my work in a negative way. Talkin g with many of my grad school friends, I found that anxiety pretty much affects everyone in grad school. This and imposter syndrome are two really negative things that you’ll probably face while trying to complete your master’s or PhD. Today, I want to go over some helpful ways in which I was able to handle my anxiety and move passed it. In fact, my anxiety decreased so much that I don’t need therapy anymore. These methods do work, and, if you are up for the challenge, you should try them out.

1. Give your anxiety a name

My anxiety was called Ang. She told me to do this because it convinces your brain that anxiety is a thing and not just a state of mind. Then you can “stand up” to it like you would a bully. I have used this method a few times, mostly to acknowledge that my anxiety is there. It may seem like a silly exercise, but it truly works.

Giving your anxiety a name almost makes it a tangible thing. You can call it names, put it down, and make it feel less powerful over you. I find this method is a good thing to do if you just feel a tiny bit of anxiety coming on. Sometimes while I am walking to class, I’ll feel a bit of anxiety. I go “Hey Ang, thanks for showing up but I don’t really want to hang out right now.” I would say that about 60% of the time, it goes away. It is a cool method and I am glad my therapist taught me it.

2. Keep exercising no matter what

I walk a ton throughout the day and do my virtual races (see my previous posts). I also go to the gym almost every day. Staying active decreases muscle tension and diverts you from what you are so anxious about. I mean, you can’t really be worrying about something if your doing stadiums lol.

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and stay energetic. It is also a great way to combat anxiety. Sometimes you are just absolutely drained. Exercise is hard but to do when you are tired but it is essential to combat anxiety. Exercise has been shown to ease depression and anxiety. So keep on exercising people!

3. Meditate and practice mindfulness

This was a major point that my therapist brought up. Train your mind to be able to cope with things and to be able to calm down in situations where you are anxious. This is a daily activity but so beneficial. I try and meditate right after lunch each day, using my Headspace app. I have seen such a reduction in the severity of my panic attacks and anxious moments. Even last week I prevented a huge panic attack because of meditation. I will have another blog post going over methods to do this so hold on a bit 🙂

Here’s a great book if you are interested https:/amzn.to/3vSo8HR

4. Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Anxiety in Grad School.

Look this bad boy up on the computer RIGHT NOW! This has saved my life multiple times and I am such a genuine person now because of it. This method focuses on changing cognitive distortions and behaviors by challenging your thoughts. There are so many YouTube videos on this so I won’t get into too much detail, but just know that it works but it takes time. Remember that this is a marathon, not a race.

According to the Clinical Guideline for treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, cognitive behavioral therapy is “is a form of psychological treatment that has been demonstrated to be effective for a range of problems including depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug use problems, marital problems, eating disorders, and severe mental illness. Numerous research studies suggest that CBT leads to significant improvement in functioning and quality of life. In many studies, CBT has been demonstrated to be as effective as, or more effective than, other forms of psychological therapy or psychiatric medications.” They also emphasize that the science is there and this method works.

5. Be kind to yourself

I think this may be the most important thing that you could ever possibly do. We have some really unrealistic expectations of ourselves and beat ourselves up if we don’t meet those expectations. My grad school marathon has been just that and I was miserable. I found that being kind to myself, laughing when I mess up, and being kind to others has helped me become less anxious and happier.

Final Thoughts

These are just a few of the many methods you can try. I hope that at least one works out for you. Remember, if you have questions about this, message me. I would absolutely love to talk about it. Don’t just deal with anxiety, learn to live harmoniously with it.

Last one for the night.

Posted on June 23, 2021 by benswaringen4310

I feel like a good place to begin is how I stumbled upon the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. I honestly cannot remember why I was looking for Buddhist teachings, but man was this one of the best things for me. Ajahn Brahm is an amazing monk who has extremely powerful stories that teach kindness, compassion, love, and everything in between. I was probably trying to find videos on how to reduce anxiety to be honest, and found his videos on how to reduce anxiety and live life to the fullest. He has been such an influence in most things that I do and how I think about issues. I am a much more optimistic person now that I follow his teachings. I will post a link below to one of his videos. I’ll write more about how he has helped during grad school as well as other videos that I find extremely helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtq3BQ8da9s&ab_channel=BuddhistSocietyofWesternAustralia

Mindfulness and Love throughout grad school

Posted on June 23, 2021 by benswaringen4310

The part about grad school that people do not like to talk about is how isolating and lonely it is. I am particularly talking about the doctorate program. So you are supposed to do independent research, on something that few people even know about, then publish it all by yourself (with the help f your adviser as well :p). That’s a lot of pressure and work. On top of this, you do it practically in the confines of your office, alone. This is what I have been dealing with for the past year. It can become extremely lonely and very easy to slip down into a deep dark hole of depression. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do, but sometimes it becomes too much. Grad school is a weird space between being a professional and being a college student. You do extremely difficult tasks, day after day, yet you get paid as much as a dish washer in a restaurant. It’s also very hard for others to relate to what you are going through, therefore adding to the isolation.

I have a few YouTube channels that I want to share that have significantly helped with feelings of isolation. Of course I will start with the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. They are wonderful and really help to show gratitude and kindness. It is so easy to be a grumpy gills all of the time, but watching some of their talks has really changed my perspective and outlook on life.

https://www.youtube.com/user/BuddhistSocietyWA

The next is R3ciprocity. Dr. David Maslach is amazingly helpful with any problems that you may have in graduate school. He even has an editing team to help correct errors in manuscripts, if that is something you are interested in. He oes over practically every issue that I have had and comes up with easy solutions.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5spxk7bNDMGPSHjW_8ndZA

The last channel I want to bring up is fairly new to me. I had been seeing a therapist, weekly, for about a year when one day she said I was good to just see her once every month. I was sooooo happy because it meant that I was getting better. Therapy has been an amzaing experience and I suggest every grad student do it. Well, the next month came, and she did respond to any of my messages or calls. She left the therapy platform I was using so I was out of a therapist :(. Luckily, I found some pretty good videos with therapists that have help a ton. My favorite is Therapy in a Nutshell. The channel is run by a Emma McAdam, who is by far one of the best therapists on the platform. I highly recommend checking her channel out.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpuqYFKLkcEryEieomiAv3Q