More Graduate School Memes

Posted on May 19, 2022 by benswaringen4310

In grad school, things can be quite tough. One way to overcome the sadness and stress of grad school is with more graduate school memes! In fact, today, I have quite a few graduate school memes for you to look through. Hopefully they give you some hope to finish your program and make the most out of this experience. Trust me, finding the good things about grad school will 100% make the experience so much better.

If you like this post, go check out my other meme post for more chuckles. Here is a link to that page (link). Also, if you want to read through some comics and read some grad school jokes, check out my post about that. The link for that is (here). So, let’s get into some good graduate school memes, why don’t we?

My Other Favorite Graduate School Memes

These next few graduate school memes are on the Facebook page “grad school memes with relatable themes”. If you aren’t familiar, I suggest going to check it out.

This is me when I was getting ready for my qualifying exam lol.

I have taken a few coding classes and can definitely relate to this. As long as it runs when my professor runs it then I am good to go.

I don’t think I’ve cried and laughed this much at a meme before lol. This one actually hits pretty hard. Kind of goes well with my post about productivity.

This one might not be for everyone, but I can relate to this one. Towards the end of your PhD, you’ll definitely understand this.

Some memes not on Facebook, I think they aren’t

You are doing enough, don’t listen to them!

If you want more memes that will really make you laugh, go over to cheezburger.com. They have some really juicy graduate school memes for you.

I think everyone that has ever published anything can really relate to this. For me, it was reviewer 1. Reviewer 2 was actually very nice to me.

Final Thoughts

I hope these memes satisfied your craving lol. I found these to be absolutely hilarious and I wanted to share them with you. If you have some good memes, post a link to the page. Anyway, I hope you guys and gals have a wonderful day and I will catch you in the next one. Peace.

Dating a Law Student

Posted on April 11, 2022 by benswaringen4310

Ah, the wonderful years of dating grad students lol. If you haven’t experienced it, you’re truly missing out. Grad school is intense and sdating is one of these things that can be quite tricky when you are in grad school. I have written about dating in grad school. You can check that blog post out here. Today, I want to tell you a little about dating a law student!

Yes, law school is difficult, time consuming, soul crushing, and everything else you can say that makes it sound terrible. Law students and engineering students are very closely related, neither of them stop studying. Also, neither get a decent amount of sleep. I am not going to talk about dating an engineer today. I can in future posts if you want me to talk about that. Let me know in the comments. No, today, I want to discuss what you are likely to experience while dating a law student. It isn’t as bad as it sounds.

man holding baby s breath flower in front of woman standing near marble wall — Photo by vjapratama on Pexels.com

The Good Things about Dating a Law Student

There are so many good things about dating a lawyer/law student. I want to discuss a few of those in this post, then I will dive into the challenges of dating a law student after this. I will then follow up with some tips and how to make sure that the relationship lasts during these really intense years. Let’s get started with the goof things.

1) You significant other is making a good decision, not just for them, but for both of you

This is mainly for people that are currently in a relationship with a law student. The choice to go to law school is a very difficult yet highly rewarding one. Lawyers make a decent living and they are some of the hardest working and smartest people out there. The choice to go to law school and become a lawyer or work in law is a very lucrative one. Your significant other will make a good living which means you’ll probably be well off as well. There are some exceptions of course, but for the most part, you both will be just fine.

woman about to kiss the man at the forest — Photo by Vitor Lima on Pexels.com

2) You are dating someone that will have a lot to talk about

This is great because dating a law student comes with some interesting things that you will learn and even some juicy gossip too. While in law school, my girlfriend always brought up all of the cool things that she learned as well as the fun things that were going on un her class. There was a ton of cool drama that I just didn’t experience while working full time. I also learned about interesting cases as well as a ton of interesting laws. Law school really provided her with a ton of cool and interesting things to talk about.

3) Law Students are smart

This is always a plus because you can have really meaningful and in depth conversations with them. The amount pf knowledge that law students have is incredible and you will learn so much from them. Just be careful and not try and correct them. Remember, they are learning how to argue in college lol. Dating someone that is very intelligent is a great way to learn more and educate yourself even more. They are also very good to show off at parties lol.

4) You can show them off to your friends

Law students are great to bring home to family. When my parents found out that my girlfriend was going to law school, you could see how impressed they were. My friends were also extremely impressed as well. It is always fun to be able to show off that my girlfriend was a law student. Now, she’s an actual lawyer, which makes showing her off even easier. lol.

5) They can help you stay out of trouble.

The best part about dating a law student is asking legal advice without having to pay lol. You can also find out if what you are doing is illegal, though I would assume that you aren’t purposefully trying to do illegal things, right? If I ever needed some legal help or to see if what I found online was actually legitimate, I would ask my girlfriend. She knew the laws better than anyone I knew, which made it great. It saved valuable time too since I could just ask her something and she would have the answer.

man and woman holding hands while walking at park — Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com

The Hardships of Dating a Law Student

Of course, whenever there is good, there will be bad. Dating a law student can be extremely rewarding, but I promise you that it will be fairly hard as well. They are busy people and the amount of work and stress that have in their lives can make the relationship fairly difficult. Hold tight though, I promise you that it’s worth it.

1) They probably won’t spend the weekends outside of the library

At the beginning of the semester, you’ll have a bit more free time to hang with them. But towards the middle and end, they’ll be in the library. The thing that really stinks about law school are the exams at the end and the competitiveness of law school. See, I only compete with myself. There are hardships in my program but at least I don’t have to compete with others just to pass a class. In law school, it’s all about out competing, out studying, out performing your colleague. This makes it hard because you will need to put in the work. When dating a law student, you have to realize that they are studying so much so they pass the class and don’t have someone else set the curve which gives them a failing grade.

Towards the end of the semester, they will be working non stop and doing a ton of readings. You may not see them for weeks, which can make things quite difficult. Unfortunately, this is how it is.

tears on face of crop anonymous woman — Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

2) There will be moments of overwhelming stress that you might have to deal with

Law school can make people lose their cool really quickly. If you are dating a law student, they might blow up on you because they are overwhelmed at the moment and are having a hard time coping. When you are under so much pressure, no matter how well you usually cope, you’re bound to have at least one outburst. It sucks, but it happens. Sometimes the best thing to do is stay out of the way or get your significant other some food. Show your support but know that at any moment, your head might be ripped off lol.

3) You might be sick and tired of hearing about cases and laws

I never want to hear about Torts again. Heck, I don’t even know what it is but I know it’s god awful. A law student has one job, learn to be a good lawyer and learn about the laws that are out there. So, that’s their life for three years and that is what they will most likely talk about 24/7. It’s cool at first but all good things come to an end. I can’t complain though because my girlfriend has to hear me talk about my research all of the time lol.

Just know that you are going to learn about stuff that you really won’t care about, but that’s the life of dating a law student. Just be happy that they haven’t found a way to send you to jail lol.

4) School will come first

You might feel like you are second to school. That is, because you are. Law school should be their number one priority and that might make you number two, hopefully not number three. It’s hard to handle this and may come as a shocker, especially if you just started dating them. Trust me, it is worth it and you will be back to number one, during summer and after the bar exam. Be grateful that they have incorporated you into their crazy lives. Just having you there means a ton. They are trying their hardest to be a significant other and a student. Of course, they will probably put their studies before you most of the time. This is why this is included in the hardships section.

close up shot of scrabble tiles on a blue surface — Photo by Ann H on Pexels.com

Tips for dating a law student

Here are a few tips when dating a law student. I have done it, so I know what I am talking about. Well, mostly know what I am talking about lol. Anyway, here are a few tips that can help you during the three years of law school.

Learn to cook and cook for them often.
You do not need to stay up at night with them while they study. They will be studying for a while. Get some rest.
Encourage them to go on walks with you every so often. Let them know that there is more that their books.
Just listen to them when they rant. Sometimes they just need to get it all out.
Don’t get caught up in their stress. Just because they are stressed does not mean you have to be.
Encourage them to find an outlet other than alcohol. Self explanatory.
Understand that it will pass. Assure them that it will pass and they will reach their goals.
Be supportive
Big one!!!! Don’t say that law school is easy. Never do this.
Celebrate the small wins.

Final Thoughts

Dating a law student can be difficult yet very rewarding. Your relationship will see all sorts of ups and downs and you’ll grow stronger together. Law school is almost like travelling with someone. You will see the best of them and the worst. Keep at it and don’t give up.

I hope this was a decent post. If you haven’t read my blog about the best gifts for grad students, I suggest taking a look (link here). These ideas are great for law student s as well. As always, I hope you all have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next one. Adios!

Having a Roommate in Grad School

Posted on April 1, 2022 by benswaringen4310

So a major part of grad school mindfulness and having a good experience might come from the topic that we have today. Having a roommate in grad school can be a really good experience or you might absolutely hate it. There is an in between as well so it’s not always a love or hate thing. I have had a roommate every year that I have been in grad school and now I am currently alone because my roommate bought a house and is living there now. So, I have the experience of living with a roommate as well as living by myself.

So, should you have a roommate in grad school and what are the pros and cons of having one? This is what we are going to touch upon today because I strongly believe that this is an important topic that not many people are talking about. So, let’s first talk about the benefits of living with a roommate verses why roommates can really be bad.

Pros of Having a Roommate in Grad School

So let’s dive into some of the pros of having a roommate while in grad school, shall we?

1) Rent can be cheaper

So, this is an obvious one. If you want to save up some money, grab yourself one or two roommates and get an apartment or house together. Grad school stipends are abysmally small. Like people don’t understand that we are employees getting paid below the poverty line. One way to cut back on those costs of living is with a roommate

2) You get to come home to someone actually being there

So, if you are like me, you spend a ton of time alone in an office and lab. I really don’t get to interact with many people except my adviser and the others who share my office. Coming home to someone other than them can really help with your mental state. It was always nice to know someone else was around, especially on those days where you feel a bit lonely.

3) You might make a life long friend.

Some of my old roommates have become some of my closest friends. I mean, if we can get along living together, we can really get through anything. Having a roommate makes you interact with someone and get to know them on a more personal level. You understand their habits and how they are outside of academia or wherever. Sometimes, you find that you are very similar to your roommate and you will develop a really close relationship with them.

Cons of Having a Roommate in Grad School

So, yes, there are cons to having roommates in grad school. I have been fortunate to have some truly amazing roommates. I know people who have had roommates from hell, so be grateful if you don’t get one lol.

1) You might not get along with them

Hey, this happens. Everyone is different and you might not get along with your roommate at all. Honestly, you won’t know unless you at least try. Sometimes, not getting along with them can cause some stress that might affect your research. This can lead to some mental health issues and those are not good. If you are going to have a roommate, I would suggest either getting someone you know you’ll get along with or search around for people that would be a good fit. Sometimes, you are just tossing a coin and seeing what you get. Hopefully you get a good outcome.

2) They might eat your food

Ok, I haven’t had this problem, but I know many individuals who have had this problem. Roommates might eat the food that you bought. As I mentioned earlier, we don’t make that much money. Food is a necessity and sometimes, unfortunately, a luxury :(. Having a roommate that deprives us the happiness that is food can be disheartening. If you are having trouble with this particular dilemma, talk to your roommate and let them know it’s not ok for that to happen.

3) They can be messy

So, I have had this problem. I am fairly clean. Disorganized, yes, dirty, absolutely not. I have had situations where my roommates have left dishes in the sink for weeks at a time. Some roommates would leave food lying around and other’s were just extremely messy. I am OK with messy, but dirty is where things get complicated. You might be in a situation where a roommate is messy and possibly a slob. This can be quite a bad situation especially if you start getting bugs because of them. In cases like this, you have to voice your concern or they won’t learn.

Next Up: Living Alone!

So, I have had a few instances of living alone in both undergrad as well as grad school. As I mentioned earlier, my current roommate has pretty much moved out and I am all alone. Well, I have Mr. Sirius to keep me company, but I don’t have a human roommate anymore. There certainly are a few pros as well as cons of living alone, that I have noticed. I would like to share with you exactly those.

Pros of Living alone in Grad School

So let’s first talk about the pros of not having a roommate in grad school. There are quite a few but I will keep it short so you don’t fall asleep.

1) You don’t have to deal with all of the cons about having a roommate that I talked about.

You won’t have someone eating your food. No body is going to be messy, except you. And, you don’t have to worry about getting along with anyone because no one is there. These are some really good things to consider.

2) You are able to decorate your place the way you want to

I think this is a pro to living alone. You can make your place the way you want it to be. My girlfriend does it best. She has been living alone for quite some time and her place is filled with really cool things that show the type of individual she is. Living alone lets you make your home more “you”.

3) You don’t have to worry about finding a roommate

So, this is specifically for those with a joint lease. In college, you will have many people come and go while you slog through your graduate degree. Some of those people might be roommates. If you have a lease that everyone signs, when they leave, you have to replace them so you can pay rent. I lived in a house where the rent would be 1800 a month if I didn’t have a roommate. That is the equivalent of my monthly earnings. Living alone, in an affordable place, allows you to not have to worry about finding roommates to replace yours.

Cons of not having a roommate in Grad School

Of course, with every pro, there is a con. So let us dive into what some cons are of living alone while in grad school.

not having a roommate in grad school is sad and lonely

1) You’re alone

I find this one hard to face, honestly. I am alone most of the day and I don’t want to really be alone when I get home. Yes, I have Sirius. But, I would love to be able to talk to someone that can actually talk back and not meow for treats lol. Plus, if something goes wrong or if I lock my keys inside, there’s no one to immediately help me. Being alone, especially in grad school, can really put a damper on your mental health as well. Something to be very mindful of.

2) Rent is more expensive

Ok, by this time, you’re probably sick of hearing me say that we are poor. You get it, grad students are poor. Well, because we are poor, it is harder on us to live alone because rent is always more expensive without a roommate. I think the average rent for a studio in Gainesville is about 1100 dollars. Rent has gone nuts in the past 5 years. A studio was about 650 dollars in 2017. Crazy!!! Anyway, if you have the money, sure get a studio. For the vast majority of us, living alone is going to be a struggle, financially.

3) Lastly, no one is there to eat the food I make.

You might be curious with this one. Often, I make cakes and desserts but I have no one to share them with. This often means that I eat a whole cake by myself or a dozen cookies by myself. I do bring them in to work, but I only share my office with one other person and she is often not there. This is a serious dilemma that I am in lol. Many people may laugh at this, but it can be a hardship in grad school. Also, I like to create dishes from recipes that I have found and need other’s opinions. Sirius doesn’t like my food, so he’s not really helpful lol. It’s definitely a con to living alone.

Deciding to have a roommate in grad school or not

It is a big decision when you start grad school to live with others or not. In my opinion, I think having a roommate is a win. Living alone, if you are that kind of person, is good. But, having someone to come home to and help you out is something I really look forward to. If you are trying to decide which to choose, I would suggest giving it a year of living with someone else to feel if it is right for you. If you don’t get along and hate having roommates then live alone the next year. At least you tried and determined whether a roommate was good or bad.

Final Thoughts

I hope you found this post to be good. Hopefully you are still awake after reading it lol. Anyway, let me know what you think about having a roommate in grad school or living alone. Wat are your preferences? Do you agree with this article or no?

Also, if you have any questions or concerns about grad school, shoot me an email at benswaringen@yahoo.com. Also, if you haven’t read it already, go check out my post about starting a wood carving hobby. Link Here. Until next time, peace.

Best Grad School Memes

Posted on March 21, 2022 by benswaringen4310

Today, I want to share some very relatable grad school memes. I have written about jokes and includes memes before. Go check out that post. (link here). The internet is an absolutely wonderful place full of ideas, creativity, knowledge, and, of course, memes. I am sure that your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, anything is full of memes. So today, I want to share some of my favorite memes that relate to grad school. These can be relatable in every day life as well.

Admit it, you love memes more than really anything on the internet. I love sending and receiving them. Heck, I have even made a few. They are amazing and definitely great to just get lost for hours on the internet looking them up.

So, let me share some of my all time grad school memes with you.

Favorite Grad School Memes

This one is highly relatable, especially this week

Time for a quick break because I am actually crying a bit. Not really because these are so funny, more so that I can really, really relate.

Ok, Breaks over, let us continue seeing more graduate school memes.

grad student memes — Emman Morelos Mabulay

funny grad school meme — Emman Morelos Mabulay

I love this grad school meme. I have like five or six “final drafts” for everything. It’s pretty ridiculous lol.

best of grad school meme — Josh Morrison

Time for another break. How’s your day going so far? So far, my day has been pretty good. Anyway, let’s continue on with a few more memes.

This next one is me during summer.

The last one for the day.

Final Thoughts

How does my collection of graduate school memes hold up? Did you enjoy them? Would you want to see more in the future? If so, let me know in the comments. If you haven’t checked out the rest of my blog, go ahead and check it out. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next one.

Is Getting a Pet in Grad School a Good Idea?

Posted on February 20, 2022 by benswaringen4310

So you just started grad school and you want to get a pet. Maybe you have been in grad school for a while and just want a furry companion to stay up with you as you spend hours writing away. Whatever the reason, you are looking to the internet to see if it is a good idea to get a pet while you are in grad school. Well, luckily for you, you came to the right place. Today, we are going to weigh the pros and cons of getting a pet and I’ll even throw in some pictures of my cat, Sirius.

woman in blue dress holding black and brown short coated dog — Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

It is a big decision, you know, getting a pet

Prior to grad school, I did not take care of any animals. I was always on the go and just didn’t even want to subject a furry little creature to the lifestyle of an engineer. Undergrad was just me moving around, going to work, going to class, and eventually getting to sleep. Yes, I wanted an animal companion so bad, but knew that it was not the right time for that, quite yet.

It was also a huge decision. Getting a pet can be like having a kid. I haven’t had a kid so if this is completely wrong, I am sorry lol. You will need to feed, nurture, and love your pet. And, unless you can do this, you really shouldn’t even be considering a pet. They are a lot of work, at first, but then it gets easier.

Benefits of getting a pet

There are many benefits of having a pet. I want to list off quite a few of those benefits. So, let’s get started, shall we?

1) They will help you feel less lonely.

You really don’t understand just how lonely grad school can be until you start it. I had to go to therapy because of anxiety and loneliness. I had many people around me, yet still felt super alone. It is hard to feel alone when a cat or dog comes and plops their furry butt right on your lap. The animal relies on you and will always be somewhere near. The will show you love and you can even talk to them without them talking back lol. My cat made me feel so much less lonely which helped to boost my productivity in my lab.

2) They will keep you on a schedule

You know what the best alarm clock is? A hungry dog or cat. So my cat wakes me up at 7:30 am every day to get fed. I have an automatic feeder for dry food, but his morning food is wet food so he is really eager to get me up. I don’t even need to set an alarm anymore because I know that he’s going to jump on my chest to wake me up. It’s great because I rarely sleep in. He also let’s me know when it’s time to go to sleep at night by curling up next to me. If I am still on the computer, he’ll start walking all over my keyboard so I have to stop what I am doing. He’s good at redirecting my attention lol.

3) They will show you love, even when your PhD/Master’s does not

The best part of having a pet is having a creature love you so much and pretty much worship you. I have a cat so that is not the case lol. oOgs, however, will do that. Have you ever seen a dog not excited to see you? The answer is no, unless the dog has anxiety or something, then they might be a little timid. Animals show you so much love and they will even show more love on those days where things just didn’t go your way. It’s great to come home after a long day of failed attempts to a wagging tail or a cute little hello meow. Each day, I come home, and as I turn the corner to walk to my front door, I hear meowing, letting me know Sirius knows I am home. It’s super cute and makes the worst days better.

a black and orange tabby cat lying together on gray textile — Photo by Arina Krasnikova on Pexels.com

Downsides of Pets

Do the benefits outweigh the downsides of getting animals? It is possible. Let me share with you some not so fun things about having a pet in grad school:

Dogs need to go outside quite often. You may need to get someone to take out he dog during the day.
Pets can be expensive and grad students don’t make that much money.
Vet bills
Flea Medication
Cats like to claw things…well everything
When you go away, you need to house them somewhere.
They may keep you from being productive
Your apartment or house may smell like your animal.

There are definitely downsides to getting a pet. Probably the two biggest would be that they can be pretty expensive and you might not be around all of the time to take care of them. Dogs, especially can be a bit high maintenance. Cats, on the other had, tend to do well alone and take care of themselves practically.

pets inside the house — Photo by belen capello on Pexels.com

What type of pet to get?

What pet do you really want in life? Do you want a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a pig? I haven’t met a grad student with a pig, but that would be a pretty cool animal to have. The two most common pets are cats and dogs in grad school. If you aren’t allergic, I would go with cats. I love dogs, but they can be a lot of work, especially if you are not home a lot. Cats tend to just take care of themselves. They are super easy.

Dogs, however, are great cuddlers and make you feel really loved. If you work from home a lot, a dog is totally fine to get. I highly suggest getting a dog that is not on the aggressive species list because it makes moving a bit easier. Dogs are amazing creatures and I wish I could have one. Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time in my lab so a dog would be a bit too much.

I would highly suggest weighing the pros and cons before you make a decision. If you spend most of your day away from your home and just want an animal to come home to at the end of the day, a cat would be the way to go. If you want an energetic creature that shows nothing but love and you have the time and energy, dogs all the way!. If you want a bit of both, go for cats and dogs. Other creatures that are great pets are snakes, lizards, fish, and rabbits. I am fairly certain that all of these are pretty easy to take care of as well.

woman in white tank top — Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Final Thoughts

The best thing that I did for my sanity (emphasis on mental health), was get a cat while in grad school. He has taught me about responsibility, compassion, and love. He is also always there to keep me company. I don’t know how I could have done grad school without him. If you are thinking of getting a pet, please, please, please adopt one from a humane society. I adopted Sirius from the Humane Society of North Central Florida. They are always overwhelmed with animals coming in that need loving homes. I guarantee you will find your furrrrever buddy there or at a human society in general.

Getting a pet in grad school was one of the best things I did and has helped me so much. I strongly encourage you to get a pet, if you can. Show them love and I guarantee they will show you love back. Let me know about your pets in the comments. Until next time, peace!

Dating in Grad School

Posted on February 18, 2022 by benswaringen4310

I am quite surprised that I have not covered this topic much sooner. This is a huge subject that hopefully I will be able to do justice. Dating in grad school can be a wonderful, difficult, frustrating, exciting, and overall fun experience. Yes, it will require a ton of work, and some patience, but it is do-able. I have had many friends date in grad school and I am currently dating a wonderful lawyer now. Yes, you can even date lawyers lol.

As I said above, it can be frustrating, exciting, and totally worth it. In some cases it might not be the best idea to date in grad school. Sometimes, you will be so bogged down with work that you won’t be able to put in any effort to make things work. For the most part, I truly believe that dating in grad school is very possible, though it might be difficult in some ways which I will discuss. Also, here’s a helpful guide to those thinking about dating a grad student lol.

How Dating in Grad School is difficult

Time

So, I want to start off with the difficult aspects of dating in grad school. The first real hurdle to bypass is dealing with your workload and having time to develop a relationship with an individual. If you are constantly working, you won’t have time to really see the other person and really bond with them. This can lead to many failed attempts at getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Grad school is busy, and can be overwhelming at times, which makes finding time to see and hang with someone difficult.

Age Difference

Age can play an important role in dating. Grad students are usually a bit older than undergrads so they may tend to date outside of the college. I know many people that have a hard time because the vast majority of college students are much younger than them and they have a hard time relating to undergrads. Age definitely is a factor when dating in grad school.

Not being able to connect with others

Grad students are pretty much from another planet. We thrive off of failure and low p-values. The stuff that we talk about, thinking it’s trivial, might be so complex for non grad students. This often makes it very hard to connect with people. Our problems that we face are not normal problems either. Dealing with lab equipment failing, loneliness, depression, low wages, and rejections from journals might not be the most common problems to connect with people over. This can make dating other people a bit difficult because you can’t really bond over problems. Yeah bonding over problems is a real thing lol.

People are always coming and going

If you are in a doctoral program, you will be in school for a minimum of 5 years after undergrad. That’s a long time in the academic world. You are going to see students come in as freshman and leave before you even get your first paper published. This is why dating is very hard. People tend to come and go so much and long distance relationships are quite difficult to have while in grad school. It is not like you ca get up and go with someone to a new town and just continue your research. In some cases you can, but for people that require a lab, it’s impossible. This is why it’s very hard to date, especially when you’re significant other is done with college and looking for jobs or moving away.

Benefits of Dating in Grad School

Trust me when I tell you, dating in grad school is doable. It has a ton of benefits as well and I am very happy that I am in a relationship while going through this process.

Support

The support I receive from my girlfriend is one of the reasons I haven’t given up. I’ve been in grad school for 5 years and I’ve been in college for almost 11. I need the support. Having someone in grad school that supports you can be the difference between giving up and graduating. Of course you can finish without having the support of a significant other. I’m saying that it makes it a bit easier. Also, having someone else in your life can help with financial support. Something we all need lol.

It helps take your mind off work

I want everyone to know that working all of the time is toxic and a terrible idea! Dating in grad school gives you a really good excuse to leave all of your work at work and go and enjoy yourself. If you are just starting the dating process, go to as many fun things as possible. Go to the movies, dinner, shows, etc. Leave all of your work worries in your office and go enjoy yourself and the company of someone else. You’ll start to notice that you’re happier and you’ll probably do better in your research and school work.

You’ll feel less lonely

If you haven’t read my blog about feeling lonely in grad school, I highly suggest checking it out. Here is a link to that. One of the things you will definitely experience in grad school is feeling lonely. Dating in grad school will help that a ton. It’s nice to be able to come home and talk with someone about your day. Often grad students don’t get that opportunity because they are in the lab all day then go home to an empty apartment. It can get quite lonely. Having someone to see after a long day by yourself can really make your whole day. It can also help combat depression and anxiety.

So is it worth it to Date in Grad School

Coming from someone who has been in a 6 year relationship, yes it is worth it. In fact I was dating my girlfriend while she went to grad school and now she is here to support me through my experience. It can be done. The best part is being able to have someone there for the support. I truly think that that support is what is keeping me here.

It may take a bit of effort and time but I think dating in grad school is totally worth it and a great way to spend your free time. Being able to spend the time you have with someone you like or love is time well spent.

Final Thoughts

What was your experience with dating in grad school? Did you enjoy it? Are you still with the individual you dated? Would you advise people to date in grad school? Let me know in the comments. As always, I hope you have a great day! Until next time, peace!

More of My Favorite Quotes

Posted on January 24, 2022 by benswaringen4310

I wrote a few months ago, a blog about my top 10 favorite quotes. Since then, I have read and heard many more quotes that I want to share with you today. If you want to check out my last blog, here is the link to that page. I figured that motivation might not be as high today to do work so hopefully these quotes give you that boost of energy and motivation to get right back to being productive. If not, then I suggest checking out my blog on how to be more motivated (here).

1) “If we do it now, we’ll never run out of time”-some Redditor (lol)

2) “If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success”-John D. Rockefeller

3) “There is nothing permanent except change”-Heraclitus

4)”If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”-Albert Einstein

5)”In order to write about life first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway

6)”The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”-Stephen McCranie

7)”Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie

8) “It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare.”-Dover

9)”Two of the most important days in your life are: the day you were born and the day you find out why.”-Mark Twain

10)”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” -Robert Frost.

Final Thoughts

I hope these are some good quotes that are inciteful and possibly inspiring. Let me know of some more quotes and I will probably make another post with them. Until next time friends, stay amazing!

Surround Yourself With Success

Posted on January 8, 2022 by benswaringen4310

I have met a ton of people in my life. I have made friendships and have ended friendships. And if you are anything like me, or like literally every other person, you have probably done the same. For me, I have gotten to a stage in my life where I am focusing on quality over quantity. As you get older, your friend group tends to shrink. You will have many acquaintances, but very little close friends. Of course, there are always exceptions, but for the most part, your friend group will shrink. This is why finding quality friends and being able to surround yourself with success is optimal, especially when pursuing an advanced degree.

Grad School

Grad school will introduce you to some brilliant individuals. You will meet a ton of like minded individuals as well as many people who may have differing views. Grad school is also a great time to surround yourself with people that will help with your success. The 2 to 8 years in grad school will fly by so quickly that you might not have too much time to prepare for what comes afterwards. This is why it is so important to start early by finding people that will help you along the journey and help you achieve your goals.

Surround Yourself With Successful People

If you want to achieve your goals, surround yourself with people that will help you along the way. These people will provide you will the support and care that you need. Grad school is hard. Being alone for most of the day and working on stuff that you know very little about is hard. This is why a really good support system is need to keep you going. I have gotten to the point where the people in my life are there for a reason. They are all really great friends to have with qualities that make them really stand out. I have friends that encourage my blog posts, friends that help keep me in shape, heck, I have friends that just talk fishing with me. Each one has changed me as an individual and made me a much better person.

It is important to surround yourself with people that will help you but it equally as important to help them. For example, many of my friends are grad students and have similar problems that I have. They trust me enough to come to me and talk through these problems. I provide a great service, even if it is just me listening. Just simple acts like this can benefit their life and make you an overall exceptional contribution to their lives.

Here are a few things that help you surround yourself with success:

1) Find individuals that have similar passions or goals.

This is great because then you can bounce off each other and achieve your goals together. One example for grad students is writing. Make friends with the people that also need to write. You can keep each other accountable, and next thing you know, you both have written your dissertation in a reasonable amount of time. This is a great example of surrounding yourself with success and also being that “successful person” that the other person needs in their life.

2) Just talk with people and see if they have something that benefits your life.

I do not mean just use them to benefit your own life, I mean find good qualities in their life that will help to benefit yours. They can just be a really positive person and that can give you the boost to see the good in life. The person may just love to cook or something and you love to cook. It gives you something to bond over and hone your skills together. Everyone can offer something. Of course many people have different things to offer such as being a partier or maybe they do illegal things. It might be wise to not surround yourself with people like them.

3) Put yourself out there and see who you attract.

This might be a good way of understanding the type of person people see you as. You may think you are a positive person 100% of the time and then attract a lot of negative people. It might actually be good to see this and maybe reevaluate your goals and the type of person you are. Put good out in the world and you will receive good.

4) Go to events that help you succeed.

You will meet a ton of people that want to be successful at events such as conventions, workshops, anything professional related, stuff like that. Of course you can meet a ton of these people elsewhere, but this is a location where it’s pretty dense with possibly like minded and beneficial friends. I go to grad events to meet other grads because I want to surround myself with similar individual. This helps my success. Going to bars, you may find these people but they are harder to find.

5) Lastly, understand that it takes time.

It may take you the whole 2 to 8 years of grad school to find the right people to surround yourself with. This is totally ok. It is not a race to see how many friends you have. It’s about finding quality and that takes time sometimes. I was fortunate to find very helpful and just plain fun individuals to spend my time with. Some people may take longer to find their niche, but it will happen.

Final Thoughts

Surround yourself with success! Everyone wants to grow as individuals and this is a sure-fire way to do just that. This blog post turned out to almost be an appreciation post to my friends. This is also an appreciation post to my audience as well. I have surrounded myself with writers and blogs, and dare I say it, friends. Those in my life and those on the internet have molded me into who I am today. Without everyone’s love, support, and guidance, I wouldn’t be as fortunate as I am today. Thank you all.

My Cat Won’t Let Me Work

Posted on December 30, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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Today is going to be a slower day of work! Thank goodness for the holiday season because nothing gets done and that is totally fine. There are a few things that I need to do, but for the most part, I am going to relax, blog, maybe make some Pinterest pins, and go workout. I am currently working from home right now so I have extra company, my cat Sirius, but my cat won’t let me work. If you have read any of my blog, you know that he is a main component of my life. To give some background, my roommate was fostering him (I pretty much took over that job) and I fell in love with him and his brother. They were both the cutest kittens ever and I wanted them both but knew taking care of a cat was a huge responsibility. Luckily Sirius’ brother was adopted which made getting a cat way easier. I adopted him right away after seeing how unhappy he was at the adoption events at PetSmart.

Benefits of my cat

Anyway, Sirius has been a huge part of my life and my mental health and overall an amazing addition to my life. It is always great to come home and hear him meow really loudly because I am back. Definitely a wonderful cat, but he won’t let me work lol! I think all cat owners know of this problem. In times of remote working, our pets are really the ones benefiting from this. They are getting more attention than ever. For me, however, I spend most of my days in my office or my lab. This leave Sirius alone to roam the apartment.

I understand

I understand that he wants attention. It’s hilarious because he’s super shy unless I am on my computer, then he is right up in my face, hitting all of the keys and scratching at my monitor. It definitely makes it hard getting work done, but you know what, that’s good! It can be annoying when they walk into the camera view while you’re on a zoom call, but that’s hilarious. Sirius made an appearance on my qualifying presentation and it made one of my committee members laugh. It was hilarious.

Yes, I won’t get things done in an extremely quick manner, but that’s fine. I am enjoying my cat’s company, he’s having a good time, and we are bonding. It is well worth it.

Photo of Orange Tabby Cat With Red Handkerchief

Get them toys

But if you are having a hard time getting work done because of your cat, might I suggest investing in more cat toys! That has helped me a lot. When I was doing my qualifying exam and working from home for 2 weeks straight, I got Sirius a few toys to keep him busy. Luckily for cat owners, cat’s usually sleep during the day. Sirius was asleep for a decent amount of time but when he was up, he was playing with toys and not bothering me. If you are having trouble with your cat walking all over you ever second, I suggest getting them a few toys. This one specifically is Sirius’ favorite. I think it’s because of the catnip lol. I wrote about the different cat toys that you can get them here. Go check it out if you want ideas.

Final Thoughts

I know this was a bit of a random blog post, but sometimes you just need to write something random. Cat owners know that struggle of trying to work from home and having your cat just flop on you keyboard without warning. It’s cute and annoying but I am happy my cat does it. Plus, he keeps me from doing work which is always good and I enjoy life more. If you have a cat, let me know about them. If you have written about them, link to a blog post about them so we can all check it out.

Make Your Own Adventure

Posted on December 27, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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Life is one crazy ride. Think about it. You literally wake up on a planet, hurling through the universe at extremum speeds. You wake up to sunshine, water, animals, television, and literally an infinite amount of other crazy things that have yet to be discovered. On top of that, you are able to interact with everything and actually manipulate your surroundings. That’s some really crazy stuff right here if you sit down to think about it. Life, itself, is a gift that we often take full advantage of, and that is pretty sad. Many people wake up and just think that all there is is work, sadness, hopelessness, and depression. I feel so much for these individuals because life is way more than that. It is the opportunity to explore the world, to express yourself, to learn, and most importantly, to love. It is an opportunity to make life one big adventure.

My life adventure

Recently, I was able to explore all four of those mentioned above. I went on an amazing journey back to California, which you can read about here. My girlfriend and I decided to make our own adventure and do some fun activities while in Cali. These included visiting my hometown, getting lost in Los Angeles, hanging out at as many piers along the coast as possible, and lastly, surviving the harsh conditions of DEATH VALLEY! Today, I wanted to share with you some of the pictures from the trip. The trip itself was not as planned out as most people would like, and I think that’s why it was so fun. We pretty much just winged it and created our own adventure.

Death Valley

So, if you have never been to Death Valley, or have even heard of it, it is the hottest, driest, and lowest place in North America. The temperatures in the summer get up to like 120 degrees Fahrenheit. From a quick google search, I can see the highest ever air temperature recording came from there at a whopping 134 degrees! Holy Cow! Well, we went in the winter which was way better since the high for the day was 55 degrees. That part may have been planned out by us lol. But pretty much, Death Valley is just one giant desert with a ton of different areas that you can visit. It is not just one big plain heat sink. No! There are sand dunes, salt marsh area things, hills that have 20 different colors, mines that were used for borax extraction, and a whole bunch of other places to see. It was so cool!

Picture Time!

I would like to share some of the pictures with you. My camera really didn’t capture the true majesty of the area. When I say breath taking, I mean it!

It’s funny because the pictures really make it look like it was extremely hot that day when in fact I was freezing. Anything below 65 degrees is super cold to me so I was especially cold when the temperature in the morning was 45 degrees. Yes, I know, it’s not that cold. But it is when you have lived in Florida for most of your life lol.

Final Thought

Making life an adventure really makes living so much more enjoyable. Living for the moments is a great was to live and I highly encourage you to make life your greatest adventure. I have become a much better person because I have realized that life is more than a career. It is so much more than working each day for 2 weeks of vacation time. So, I encourage you to try something new, go places you’ve never been, and write the next chapter of your life. That’s what I am doing. Also, if you are thinking about heading to Death Valley any time soon, check out this blog about going (link here). It has all you need to prepare yourself for some amazing adventures.

Check in During the Holidays

Posted on December 25, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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Happy Holidays everyone! Today, my family is celebrating Christmas together and we are starting with a large breakfast, followed by presents (of course)! My girlfriend’s father has covid so I won’t be seeing them today. In fact, a few people I know have covid today and will not be see their families because of it. It is quite sad but it happens.

Holidays are Hard

I want toe write a short blog emphasizing to check in with people that might be alone this holiday season. This doesn’t just mean friends or family, this includes those individuals that might be in your lab or building (if you are a grad student) who really don’t have a place to go. I know for a fact that like 80% of the grad students in my department are international students. Since flights are getting canceled and regulations are in place, they may not get to see their families this season. Heck, they may not have been back in years to see them. That makes this time especially hard for them.

If you are alone

Being alone is pretty difficult during this time. You tend to see everyone with their families, happy, and that just makes things worse. If you know someone who is alone this season, reach out to them. If you are alone this season, maybe reach out to the other people that are alone and have a get together or a party with everyone. Spread kindness and happiness because this unfortunately can e a very depressing time of the year.

I am fortunate enough to have many places to go this winter and I am beyond grateful for that but I do feel for those that don’t. I have reached out to a few people and they seem to be ok being alone but they did appreciate that someone was thinking of them. Even doing something like this is a huge deal. Feeling that someone cares can really help and I encourage you to do this. For those in grad school, you know how difficult it is being alone most days or weeks. You know the feeling of isolation so I encourage you to make sure others don’t feel this way. It is a season for joy, so let’s spread it (but let’s not spread covid).

Final Thoughts

I want to wish you a very happy holidays! We have been through so much and we need to realize that this year will be hard, but we don’t need to make it hard. Look for the “honey”. Find the good in all of this madness and let’s spread that joy. We are better individuals and we will thrive but we need to help ourselves and others to get to that point. So, please, spread kindness and joy this season and check in with your friends. Also, call your mother please. Happy Holidays-Bean.

Be Thankful Everyday

Posted on November 25, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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Thanksgiving is here. Honestly, it seemed like last Thanksgiving happened a few weeks ago. These years sure fly by. Today, we give thanks for all that we have in our lives, and launch off model rockets lol. I just want to tell you guys that you don’t need just one day to show thanks or what you have. Be thankful everyday of the year. Here is a list of some of the things I am grateful/thankful for:

1) My friends and family

2) My health

3) My cat, Sirius

4) cookies

5) This blog and all of those reading and commenting

6) My education

7) The motivation I have to finish my doctorate

8) Scootering

9) Model Rocket launches

10) Time away from work

These are just a few of the things that I am thankful for. What are some things that you are thankful for? Let me know in the comments. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Favorite Recipes

Posted on November 1, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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Few people actually know that I was on a culinary competition team in high school and we won quite a few competitions. I was actually awarded a scholarship to go to culinary school as well. As my long time readers know, I did not follow that path, and instead, went to UF for engineering and now I’m getting my doctorate. Crazy how things change so quickly.

Here I am at the ProStart cooking competition in Orlando

Anyway, I do enjoy cooking. Not as much as I used to, unfortunately, but I still enjoy it. I wanted to share my favorite recipes that I have come across in the many years I’ve been in the kitchen. As a grad student, one of the best things you can do is just experiment in the kitchen. Many of us rely on to-go orders and spend way too much on take out. Cooking is a great way of stress relief as well as a way to save a ton of money.

I figured this would be a good post since November is the start of gluttony season lol. You can try these recipes before your family comes over for the holidays. They are definitely crowd pleasers and it gives you a wonderful opportunity to hone your culinary skills. Plus, they are cheap and you can make a ton to eat throughout the week. So let’s get started.

Butter Chicken

So I am going to link to each recipe so this post isn’t 12 pages long. This recipe, I found on reddit one day while looking for Indian food recipes. This is the best butter chicken that I have ever eaten. People beg me for the recipe, which I share of course, but it’s that good. If you like Indian food, and don’t care about calories, you’ll love this recipe. Put it over rice and it becomes the perfect meal. Also, the butter chicken gets better as it sits in the fridge. The next day is way better than the first.

Here is the recipe

Free stock photo of bakery, baking, butter

Alton Brown’s Biscuits

I made this recipe one day while quarantining at my girlfriend’s dad’s house. Everyone loved it so much that we made it two more times afterwards. These are my all-time favorite biscuits and they are so easy to make. This is slightly biased because Alton Brown is my hero, but the biscuits are phenomenal.

Here is the recipe

Orange Chicken

This one required a bit more time and effort (and some courage) to make. Orange chicken is sooooooooo good. I love Panda Express’ version of it but it honestly can be hit or miss with them. This recipe is 1000000Xs better than their orange chicken. I haven’t made this in a while because I am trying to get over a bit of a fear. In March, I had a pretty bad accident with cooking oil, so I am slowly trying to get back to being comfortable with it. But, if you are courageous and don’t mind deep frying, this recipe is for you. I highly suggest doubling the sauce and adding way more garlic and ginger. Other than that, this recipe is perfect. Once again, don’t count the calories!!! lol

Here is the recipe

Key Lime Pie

As a Floridian, there are two things you must love, or at least tolerate. 1) Alligators 2) Key Lime Pie. Key lime pie is one of my favorite desserts, mostly because lime is my favorite flavor. The keys have the best pies, since that’s where it originated. Publix have an amazing key lime pie as well. If you are down here, I suggest getting one of theirs. If you are in the Keys, check out Blonde Giraffe.

Here is a really easy and simple recipe for Key Lime Pie that I found on Reddit (It’s the first comment). Alsways remember that key lime pie uses graham cracker crust, not anything else. If the place has anything but graham cracker, leave. I mean it, just leave and go make you’re own.

Here is the recipe

Let Me Know Your Recipes

Do you have an awesome recipe that you are willing to share? If so, I am sure a ton of us would absolutely be floored by it. I am always on the lookout for recipes that are easy, delicious, cheap, and plentiful. I also like to cook for friends and show off a bit. Let me know of any cool recipes in the comments.

As always, I hope you guys have an awesome day and week. Also, for those asking about pictures from yesterday’s Viking wedding, Below is a picture of my girlfriend, Madison, and I. Madison made the fur things (not sure what they are called) herself.

Happy Halloween

Posted on October 31, 2021 by benswaringen4310

Today is my absolute favorite holiday. Halloween is just such a cool holiday that has an amazing build up. The only other holiday that is more fun the month prior to it is Christmas. Thanksgiving doesn’t even come close.

Halloween is just so fun because of all of the decorations, parties, and candy. Lots and lots of candy. It is also an awesome day for my cat, Sirius, since he is a black cat.

Today, I am going to a wedding where we are allowed to dress up as Vikings. This will be my second themed wedding, which is pretty cool if you have never been to one. My girlfriend and I are going to dress formally but also have Viking stuff on as well. It should be a blast.

This blog is going to be very short because we have to get ready. I just wanted to tell you all Happy Halloween and I hope you and your kids get tons of candy! If you haven’t already, check out my blog about some interesting Halloween facts. (here and here).

Have a wonderful day, and I will see you all tomorrow!

100 Things to Be Grateful For

Posted on October 19, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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The title says it all. There are many things to be grateful for and here are 100 of them. This very post will be my lucky 100th blog post. Well, technically yesterdays post was, but I deleted a blog post to make this post my 100th! Hurray. Anyway, I have come a very long way since starting this journey, and I have a heck of a long road to go. But, I am super excited to what this road brings.

Today, I want to focus on 100 things that I am grateful for in my life. I have written about things that I have learned throughout these years (link here), but I have only touched up on the things I am grateful for. So today, I am going to tackle this behemoth of a list and post all of the things that I am truly grateful for. Here we go

The List of Things to Be Grateful For and What I am Grateful For

My Girlfriend
Coffee
My family
Grad School
Waking up at sunrise
Going to bed at a reasonable time
My cat, Sirius
The ability to mess around in my lab and call it “science”
The many nights of just talking with my friends
My friends
Key lime pie from Blonde Giraffe

My therapist
Talkspace.com
Fall weather in Gainesville
The Florida Gators
My advisor
Good deeds
Nice people
Even mean people (it makes me appreciate the nice people more)
The Florida Keys
Fishing
Engineering
The time spent with my family
Weekends
Lab work
My committee members
Being able to say I am a PhD Candidate
A good show on Netflix
That Good Will Hunting is a movie

Brown and Green Grass Field during Sunset

Sunrises
Sunsets
Waking up each morning
being alive
Long lists
Productivity
Good memories
My apartment
The scooter that I just bought from Amazon
Vanilla cake
The University of Florida
The many people that have helped me in my doctoral journey
My boat
Having an income
My health
Personal training
Being able to do stadium workouts
Experiencing the struggles of life
Walking!

Mother nature
The beach
The ocean
Travelling
Being able to carve wooden figurines
Knowing how to do calculations on excel
Not being afraid to give presentations
Ajahn Brahm

Being able to listen to really good music
Trees!
Dogs, especially both of mine, Loki and Thor
Alligators. They’re cool
Turtles
My office mates
Random strangers that say hello as you walk by
Puppies

Kittens
Being able to get fresh food from the store
Technology
The washer and drier
Being able to look out a window (you appreciate this more if you have an office without windows)
Audible books
Google Pays

Pizza
Literally any food that has cheese
My brain
All of my senses
The feeling you get when something just makes sense to you
Silence
Meditation
Life lessons
My failures
All of the teachers that I have had
All of the heart breaks that I have gone through
Finding happiness in every situation
I really appreciate the influx of skateboarders on campus
Electricity
To add to that, AC
My car
Water

The occasional margarita
Kickball leagues
My name
My future
Being able to go home to a really comfortable bed
Growing in everything I do
The good days
The bad days
Mindfulness
Seasons
Blogging
My readers

This is a very long list of the many things that I am grateful for. Let me know in the comments of all the things you are grateful for, well not all, just put a few lol. I hope you guys have a great day.

Dealing with Office/Lab Mates

Posted on October 12, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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If you are in a grad program, more than likely you are going to be getting an office somewhere close to your adviser. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, my office is on another floor than mine. This is good because I don’t have to look like I am working all of the time but can also be bad because I never know when he’s around or when he will suddenly pop up. I have to be on my “A” game most of the time.

Unfortunately for grad students, the dream of having your own space, where you can have plants, maybe a TV, and possibly add your own couch, is not a reality, yet. You will be with other students. Some of these will be other PhD students, while other’s could be Master’s or even undergrad students. If you are fortunate, you won’t get too many other people.

Having office mates is good and bad. One advantage to them is having someone to talk to. Being in the office and lab all day can get quite lonely. Talking to someone that does the same thing as you really helps. In fact, this is exactly how I’ve made friends. It’s a total win. Also, another advantage to having someone in the office is that they may bring snacks and treats. This is especially true if you tell them when your birthday is!

The bad things about having someone share an office are actually not too bad. You will have to figure out how to have Zoom meetings with them in the room. You may also have to find a way of reheating the fish you brought for lunch without causing them to run out of the building. One disadvantage that I found was not being able to use the other desks to work on side projects. I used to have my office to myself, which was good and bad. But, I would have multiple different projects going on at once on almost all of the desks. It was nice being able to jump around from desk to desk. I can’t anymore.

These advantages and disadvantages occur in the lab as well. Having someone in the lab with you is nice because you can talk to someone while your experiments are running. This makes lab work a heck of a lot more enjoyable, if your experiments are boring of course. It can also be a pain to have to share bench space with someone else. One of my labs has like 3 different groups using it at one time. Luckily, I don’t work in that lab that often because having that many people in there at once would be a nightmare.

One surprising disadvantage to having someone else in the lab, especially an older grad student is the pressure of doing everything right. Sometimes I feel like I don’t pipette right or sometimes I feel like I don’t allow my glassware to soak in an acid bath long enough. I don’t want to be told what to do by someone else or be told that I am doing everything wrong. I understand that it’s helpful to get criticism, it is just anxiety inducing at some times. Other than that, having a lab mate really isn’t that bad.

If you are working in a lab currently, do you enjoy having others around? What about having office mates? Let me know, in the comments, how you are able to cope with having people in your space. I hope you guys have a wonderful day. Also, if you haven’t checked out my blog about sharing your lab and office with a ghost, then I highly suggest reading about that lol. (link here). It is spooky season!

**If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues, I highly recommend that they seek help. Online-Therapy.com or TalkSpace.com are great ways to reach out to a licensed therapist and get the help needed. Therapy has 100% helped me and I know it can help you.

Appreciation

Posted on October 4, 2021 by benswaringen4310

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I want to take a moment to show appreciation to the many people around me that keep me going. This weekend, I celebrated my birthday with my girlfriend and her family. It was absolutely wonderful and filled with love, joy, and a bit of alcohol too lol. It was a wonderful day getting to spend it with them then I got to spend yesterday with my family. Yesterday had much less alcohol but the same amount of love and joy as I had on Saturday. What a wonderful weekend indeed.

Brown Wooden Rabbit Figurine on White Surface

Sometimes I get caught up in my own life and my own worries that I forget to just take time and hang with those that love you. This includes friends, family, pets, literally anyone. I was able to do just that this weekend and I felt so much love. This is what makes being alive so special. We get to experience these types of moments. These moments are what you will remember years from now. It won’t be how many hours you spent at work, or how you saved a client thousands of dollars. No, you’ll remember sitting on a porch, in 75 degree fall weather, just hanging with the ones you love.

Grad school doesn’t offer many moments like this. It is demanding and wants you to spend your life in the lab/library/office. Don’t listen to it. Sure, getting a ton of papers written and published is cool, but many of those people that work all of the time are depressed and do need a lot of help. I know quite a few, me being one of them, unfortunately. I am much better now, though. Don’t worry.

Enjoy the time you have with loved ones. Focus on the happiness that comes from those moments and bring that happiness into moments you feel sad. Always remember that there are people that truly care for you no matter what.

If you haven’t read my post about the 29 Things I’ve Learned by 29, then I suggest checking it out (link here). Today, I leave you with homework. I want you to think of a really great time with friends, family, random people, whoever. I want you to think of all of the great times you’ve had and fill your body up with all of that joy. Then I want you to just sit with that feeling for a few moments. When you have sad times, I hope that you can remember the feeling of love and joy from this exercise. It will help you through the bad times.

Make Sure Your Friends Are Ok

Posted on September 20, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

I spend a great amount of time alone. That is just how academia works to be honest. Finding friends has been a bit of a tricky situation since starting for this fact. Luckily, through some persistence, and dumb luck, I have found quite a few friends to share my time with. These individuals are also graduate students, so we are all in this chaotic boat called the doctorate program.

Everyone complains in my department about the exact same things, long hours, impossible workloads, sometimes weeks of no work (weird but it comes up), etc. It’s quite normal to have one of my friends come to me, complaining how badly they want to leave. They feel lonely, imposter syndrome is kicking their butts, or something is happening with their adviser. This is why it is so important to be kind to others in your program.

Grad school is easy. Doing the work is easy. Thinking about the workload and the dissertation and also thinking about all of the alone time and isolation, that’s the hardest part. I believe this is a major contribution to why people are very unhappy in grad school. They have shown that they can do the work, but they get caught up in their own heads, thinking about other things that come with grad school. This is just one hypothesis that I have, but that’s for a different day.

Your friends need help too. In fact, if you are in a mentally healthy position in grad school, please help your friends with coping mechanisms. I have started to do just this, not only to my friends in academia but also those working full time, in the real world. Make sure your friends are doing well. They are such a valued part of your life, and if they are hurting, you probably will as well.

Make sure to check in with your friends often. Also, check in with the other students in your department as well. You don’t even have to say much. A simple “good morning” or “what’s up?” is enough. When people around me say stuff like that, it always makes me feel better. You’re friends will probably be the same way.

Everyone is fighting some form of fight. We all have demons, but that doesn’t mean we all have to suffer. Grad school can be a terrible place for people if they don’t have the right support. Why not become that support? But, like most things, be warned. You may be taking on quite a bit if you try and get your friends to open up to you more. They might be having a very rough time and need you there. Remember, be like a dust pan. Take up all of their “trash” but make sure to dump it in a trash can. Do not hold onto their problems or you will get burnt out. Learn to let go. Check out my blog on other mindfulness techniques that you can use too (link here).

If you could do me a favor today, please check in with your friends this week. Make sure things are ok, and if not, offer some support. I guarantee it will be well worth it. I want to leave you all with a YouTube video about mindfulness and kindfulness. Check it out below. See you all in the next blog.

Blogging to Help With Mental Health

Posted on August 7, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post about blogging to help with mental health may contains affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

Today is an important day for me. Today, I will have written 50 blog posts. That may not seem like many, but trust me, it’s a ton for someone like me. I started writing blogs as a form of outlet, almost like journaling. My anxiety was creeping back, even though I had a significant arsenal of coping mechanisms. Journaling was not one of those methods that I had tried before. Also, I wanted to give back to the world somehow. There is already too much suffering in the world and I wanted to add a contribution to help, even just one person, suffer a little less. Today I want to discuss why I am blogging to help with my mental health and why you should too.

I am Super Excited

I received an email today about my blogs. I was so overwhelmed because it was an appreciation email. They loved my writing and wanted to let me know that they loved it so much, they couldn’t stop reading. This is what it is all about, my friends. Blogging to help your mental health is more than just writing about my problems, it’s finding solutions and helping those with the same problems, solve their problems. So many people in this world just care about themselves. I completely understand that mentality because life had me feeling this way for a very long time. I found this was helpful to get what you wanted in life, but you aren’t really contributing in the best way you can.

Why Did I Start

Two months ago, I decided to take a journey to help people, rather than just help myself. I wanted to help graduate students (and now undergrads) that were experiencing mental health and giving helpful ways to cope. I also wanted to help with their fitness, but soon found that focusing on mental health needed more of my attention. Don’t worry though, more fitness blogs will surely follow. I found that the more I wrote, the more feedback I received, the less anxious I became. Blogging is a good coping mechanism, but mixing it with giving helpful advice, well that’s a recipe for success.

How Blogging and Journaling can Help Your Mental Health

One of the best things that I learned to do was write down what I was feeling and figure out all of the things that were causing my anxiety. It is tough, sometimes, to just think about what gives you anxiety, In fact, that may even give you more anxiety lol. Blogging and journaling have been my go-to to figure out what is going on, what I have been doing to prevent it, and how I will take care of myself from here on out.

Writing down your fears and worries almost solidifies those things. It is easier to tackle to the problems when you see them directly. Also, journaling and blogging allow you to figure out that what is causing you problems really isn’t as scary as you think it is. For example, I was always nervous to order things at a restaurant or fast food joint. Literally, talking to the cashier gave me anxiety. I get it, it’s stupid, but it really isn’t. There are thousand, maybe millions of people afraid of the same thing. Writing it down was one of the best things I did because I realized how silly that was. I wrote down all of my fears about that particular anxious thought and how I will try and cope. I was able to work through a fear just by writing it down.

Where I will go From Here

I have found a little place in this world of blogging, my niche. And in so, I have found that my anxiety, my stress, my depression, have been reduced to levels I haven’t seen in years. I wish I could go back in time and just tell myself that it will be a long journey, but one where you find yourself, at least I have found 28 year old Ben. I may be a lot different in 5 years ;P.

Please Reach out and Trust The Process

If you are suffering from anxiety, depression, any form of mental health, I want to add one more coping mechanism to your toolbox, and of course that is blogging. It has helped me to express myself and openly to other people. There are so many people in the writing community that have been so supportive. Honestly, the blogging is a way to cope with my anxiety, but, you, the reader, have helped to significantly reduce my anxiety.

Final Thoughts

Blogging has helped so much with my mental health. I want to take this time to show my appreciation for the blogging community. Throughout this journey, I have really been able to rely heavily on the care and support of my fellow bloggers. We are a family. The guidance, inspiration, and support have benefitted me and my readers. Without your support, I would have given up a long time ago. Thank you so much, blogging community! I owe you more than you know.

If you are wondering more about the use of blogging and journaling as means of handling mental health, please reach out to me at benswaringen@yahoo.com. I would love to tell you all of the benefits that come with this wonderful method. Also, if you just have questions related to college or grad school, I would absolutely love to discuss it further with you. I am here to help you guys through this journey. You don’t have to do it alone.

Best Purchases for Your Cat

Posted on July 26, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

Making decisions in the moment can be super stressful and down right anxiety inducing. One of the “spur-of-the-moment” things that I did 2 years ago was adopt my cat, Sirius. It amazes me how, at the time, well a little bit after the moment I adopted him, I thought it was a bad idea. I let fear and anxiety take over and really cause me to rethink my choice. If I could, I’d go back in time and slap my past self and tell him that getting a pet was the best thing you’ve done in grad school. Getting a cat is a big responsibility, but ultimately, an amazing choice. I would do anything for my little guy. Anyway, if you just so happened to get yourself a kitty in college, here are some cat toys and things that I bought him that make him happy, my furniture happy (no claw marks), as well as me happy, along with my budget. Here are the best toys for your cat.

Cat Toys! and other things

1. A SmartCat Pioneer Pet Scratch Post

Best investment ever! It will set you back about $50 but it’s worth 1000x’s that amount. Sirius’s claw’s are sharp and my arms, legs, chest, and face can tell you that lol. This scratch post keeps him from clawing at furniture in my house, which is a major plus since the furniture belongs to my roommates. I put this first because this is most important.

2. A cat shelf

I specifically got Sirius this one. He absolutely loves climbing onto these and hiding behind the plants. It also acts as a scratch board so he doesn’t scratch anything else. You can see that scratch boards are very important.\

3. Plush Flopping Fish

Oh man, this is a good one. It is rechargeable and he goes crazy for this toy, mostly because there is catnip in it. Sirius will spend most of the day cuddling it on his hammock too. I have some great pictures. Here’s one.

4. Cat Hammock

I purrrrsonally got Sirius this one, though I believe any hammock would be just fine. He only sleeps in the hammock. I put a blanket on it to keep him warm and that’s all he needs. The window hammocks are the best because he gets to look out and see the birds and people outside from the comfort of a bed. A win-win.

5. Bird feeder

I got him a suction cup bird feeder that keeps him entertained for hours. I am usually at the office for a good amount of time so I want him entertained until I can come home and play with him. This is the perfect thing to get and you also attract a ton of cool birds as well as squirrels.

6. Cat Spiral Springs

I buy Sirius super fancy toys like feather toys, roller coaster circuit toys, as well as a cat tunnel, but his favorite toy is just a simple spring that he can hit around. Honestly, just get your cat a wire tie and they are good to go for the day. Super simple and effective.

These are things that I feel cat owners should buy. They have worked pretty well for me and my cat loves them. If you are a grad student and work long hours, I would strongly suggest getting something like what I have shown above to keep your furry friend happy until you get home. Let me know what you buy your cat to keep them entertained and happy.

Enjoying Family Time

Posted on July 20, 2021 by benswaringen4310

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information see disclosure at bottom of home page

I just want to show my appreciation for my family. My family includes my parents, brother, girlfriend as well as my brother’s girlfriend and daughter. As we get older, my brother and I, we have started to go off on our own. I can see how it affects my mom as well as my dad knowing that their sons are both starting the wonderful journey that is life. But for one week out of the year, we take time away from our busy lives to spend it all together. This vacation has been a great one so far. Having the time to see and be with my family has made me understand that life is not about work, life is about the relationships you have with others, the journeys you take, the risks you make, and the love you show, wherever you end up.

We all come from different backgrounds and situations. Family may mean a lot different than a blood relative to you. It may be close friends, a neighbor, your pet, a significant other, or the guy down the street that waves to you each morning. No matter what “family” is, appreciate it. Spend time with them because you will remember these moments way more than what happened at work. Life is so much more and we are just scratching the surface.

I hope everyone is having a great week with whatever you might be doing. Today, we decided to go to Key West and go to the butterfly museum as well as take a walk through the cemetery. I was able to spend some quality time with my family as really appreciate the day. I wanted to share with you all because I know you guys really understand the importance of having quality relationships with others. It is truly one of the best things in life.

How the Heck Do You Make Friends in Grad School, or, Well, in General?

Posted on July 11, 2021 by benswaringen4310

“How the heck does everyone around me have a million friends?” I see it all of the time in school. Literally pods of students all together, seemingly having a great time with their friends. In undergrad, I wanted that so much. In grad school, I just want to be able to talk with a few people, not a whole group. But how are these people making so many friends? That I cannot answer, but I can give tips on how to make really great friends, something I will cherish way more than having a bunch of people that you aren’t that close with.

It has taken me about three years to establish a really good friends group. It mostly consists of max five people, but they are all people that I genuinely like and know on a deeper level. Grad school can be extremely tough to make friends. If you are a PhD candidate, like me, it can me almost impossible since you will spend a great amount of time alone. But with a little persistence and some courage, I guarantee that you will find friends.

Join a club or sports league

Clubs are super easy to join and frankly you don’t have to put that much effort into it. If you join a club that really falls in line with your interest, you will find friends. People just like you, with similar interests will be there and you’ll get to know each one of them pretty well. sports leagues/intermural leagues are also a great way to make friends. I am currently on a kickball team with people that are my age, drinking, and having fun. We go to get drinks after games each week and they have even invited me to parties.

2. Get a part-time job

This is a bit tricky in grad school because your adviser may say it breaches contract or you may not graduate on time. Luckily for me, my adviser doesn’t care unless it’s between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm. As I have stated, I am a personal trainer so my hours of work are later. Jobs are great because you will spend a ton of time with people, mostly students in a college town, but also some older people too. Some of my closest friends that I have are from a job I had in undergrad.

3. Meetup.com

I don’t have a lot of experience using this but I know people that swear by it. This one takes a bit of courage because you may be meeting a ton of people for the first time and that can cause a great amount of anxiety. Heck, my anxiety is the reason I don’t use this. Meetup does a great job of bringing people with similar interests together, and honestly, that’s what you want in friends.

4. Blog

5. Having a roommate

This one may require some luck if you have roommate matching. If not, and you can pick your roommate, then this is way easier to make a friend. I have friends all over the world that used to live with me that I call friends. By being forced to live with someone, you see how they actually are, all the time. You develop a deeper relationship with the person and that can be a good or bad thing lol. I have had some amazing roommates that are close friends. But be warned…friends might not always make good roommates!!!

Anyway, this was a short list of ways that I have been successful at making friends. It’s hard, but with a bit of work and luck, you can have amazing relationships with people. Let me know how you make friends or if you want too be my friend!

How to Make Friends in Grad School

Posted on July 11, 2021 by benswaringen4310

“How the heck does everyone around me have a million friends?” I see it all of the time in school. Literally pods of students all together, seemingly having a great time with their friends. In undergrad, I wanted that so much. In grad school, I just want to be able to talk with a few people, not a whole group. But how are these people making so many friends? That, I cannot answer, but I can give tips on how to make really great friends, something I will cherish way more than having a bunch of people that you aren’t that close with.

Ways on how to make friends in grad school

1. Join a sports league

Sports clubs are super easy to join and frankly you don’t have to put that much effort into it. Sports leagues/intermural leagues are a great way to make friends. There are millions of sports leagues at school. You can find everything from kickball to baseball, to even Quidditch. I am currently on a kickball team with people that are my age, drinking, and having fun. We go to get drinks after games each week and they have even invited me to parties.

2. Get a part-time job

3. Meetup.com

4. Blog

Blogging can introduce you to so many people in the world. I have just started but I can definitely see how I can make a ton of friends with what I am doing. The interactions that I have with people are just truly amazing and I think this is a fantastic way to make friends. You will be surprised how easy it is to meet people while blogging. Most of the time it will be over the internet. But internet buddies are cool too.

5. Having a roommate

6. Make Friends with your office mates

You will most likely spend a ton of time with people that share your office. This is a great opportunity to make really good friends. You will most likely be able to bond over how bad and hard rad school is. You will also get to know them much better because they are around you all of the time. I have made some great friendships with people that have shared my office with me.

7. Get involved in clubs.

Clubs are a great way to meet like minded individuals that want to do something fun. In college, you will literally have 300+ clubs on campus. There is a club for any interest that you have. Grad students also have their own clubs too. This makes it pretty easy to meet other grad students and make lasting friendships with them. I highly recommend joining clubs or just attending at least one or two of their meetings.

8. Go to events held at your apartments

If you live in an apartment, you probably have noticed a ton of fliers around to do activities in your complex. Go to these events! At my apartment, we have events every week. This is a great opportunity to make friends and possibly win some prizes as well. I go to bingo night and they give gift cards, so it’s definitely a good time lol.

Final Thoughts

Anyway, this was a short list of ways on how to make friends in grad school. It’s hard, but with a bit of work and luck, you can have amazing relationships with people. Let me know how you make friends or if you want to be my friend! Making friends while in grad school is a great opportunity to reduce stress, have fun, and make the whole experience a bit better. Grad school is hard, having friends to cope with the struggles makes it way better. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next blog.

My Other Favorite Graduate School Memes

Some memes not on Facebook, I think they aren’t

Final Thoughts

The Good Things about Dating a Law Student

1) You significant other is making a good decision, not just for them, but for both of you

2) You are dating someone that will have a lot to talk about

3) Law Students are smart

4) You can show them off to your friends

5) They can help you stay out of trouble.

The Hardships of Dating a Law Student

1) They probably won’t spend the weekends outside of the library

2) There will be moments of overwhelming stress that you might have to deal with

3) You might be sick and tired of hearing about cases and laws

4) School will come first

Tips for dating a law student

Final Thoughts

Pros of Having a Roommate in Grad School

1) Rent can be cheaper

2) You get to come home to someone actually being there

3) You might make a life long friend.

Cons of Having a Roommate in Grad School

1) You might not get along with them

2) They might eat your food

3) They can be messy

Next Up: Living Alone!

Pros of Living alone in Grad School

1) You don’t have to deal with all of the cons about having a roommate that I talked about.

2) You are able to decorate your place the way you want to

3) You don’t have to worry about finding a roommate

Cons of not having a roommate in Grad School

1) You’re alone

2) Rent is more expensive

3) Lastly, no one is there to eat the food I make.

Deciding to have a roommate in grad school or not

Final Thoughts

Favorite Grad School Memes

Final Thoughts

It is a big decision, you know, getting a pet

Benefits of getting a pet

1) They will help you feel less lonely.

2) They will keep you on a schedule

3) They will show you love, even when your PhD/Master’s does not

Downsides of Pets

What type of pet to get?

Final Thoughts

How Dating in Grad School is difficult

Time

Age Difference

Not being able to connect with others

People are always coming and going

Benefits of Dating in Grad School

Support

It helps take your mind off work

You’ll feel less lonely

So is it worth it to Date in Grad School

Final Thoughts

Anyway, let’s get into the quotes that I have read/heard recently that I think are worth sharing.

Final Thoughts

Grad School

Surround Yourself With Successful People

Here are a few things that help you surround yourself with success:

1) Find individuals that have similar passions or goals.

2) Just talk with people and see if they have something that benefits your life.

3) Put yourself out there and see who you attract.

4) Go to events that help you succeed.

5) Lastly, understand that it takes time.

Final Thoughts

Benefits of my cat

I understand

Get them toys

Final Thoughts

My life adventure

Death Valley

Picture Time!

Final Thought

Holidays are Hard

If you are alone

Final Thoughts

Butter Chicken

Alton Brown’s Biscuits